Acceptance
by autumndragon209
Summary: Falling in love can be hard, but learning to love yourself can be even harder, especially when life doesn't turn out quite like you'd expect. Set in the 2012 universe, after the turtles saved the world from the Kraang invasion. Rated for language and sexual content. RaphaelxOC, Apritello
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hey! This is my first fanfic ever! Just had an idea in my head and wanted to get it out. I don't know if OC stories are all that popular but hopefully this one is acceptable! I enjoy writing as a hobby and have ideas for regular fiction, but decided to use fanfiction as practice. Reviews on writing style/flow/description/all that good stuff is much appreciated! I didn't go too crazy with a deep plot or anything, but I might delve into that someday. For now, I'm playing around with character emotions and interaction. Let me know what you think! Thanks, and enjoy! **

Chapter 1

Another Mutant?

 _Summary: The brothers are on patrol and come across a new mutant. Can they learn more about this mysterious stranger?  
_

"I'm picking up heavy Foot activity in this quadrant," Donnie observed out loud, referencing to the screen in the palm of his large hand. His brothers gathered behind him, peering at the screen over his shoulder.

"Well, let's get moving then," Leo ordered. He memorized the location from the map on Donnie's screen and led the way from the building they had been perched on. His brothers followed suit without hesitation.

The night had been uneventful until then, but it worked out well that the four brothers chose to go on patrol together that night instead of in their usual shifts. Foot Clan activity was scarce, and aside from the usual crimes of the city, their jobs as vigilantes wasn't nearly as exciting as it was during the Kraang invasion. For the most part, they were okay with that. Life was continuing on in a somewhat "normal" fashion for them. Or as normal as life could be for four young adult mutant turtles, who happened to be skilled ninjas, living in the sewers with their sensei father who happened to be a mutant rat. Not to mention Donatello's psychic half-human, half-Kraang girlfriend, who surrendered to this very abnormal life long ago, and Raphael's best friend, a human who spent the nights fighting crimes on roller blades wearing a hockey mask.

But, after defeating an alien race from an invasion, yes, life could finally be considered what they would call "normal".

They leapt silently from building to building, the only disturbance they made was breaking the air they sliced through in the cool night. They flew over alleys, eyeing the streets cautiously as they ran, but the city night was more peaceful in this part of town. The nightlife wasn't as active, and the twinkling lights of the buildings and streetlamps was almost soothing.

They could hear quite the scuffle as they neared the location indicated on Donnie's screen, and Leo slowed to a quiet stalk to approach the edge of the building cautiously, his brothers following suit.

What awaited them in the alley below was not exactly what they were expecting. Someone had beat them to the small group of foot ninjas - or something.

"What the—" Raph hissed, staring at the creature single-handedly taking out each ninja, sometimes two or three at a time. It was definitely some kind of lizard, only slightly bigger than a human. It was on all fours, claws scraping the ground as its tail whipped around, either to slash a ninja or grab it by the neck or waist and hurtle it into a nearby building. They could hear the creature hissing angrily as it fought, occasionally leaping from its hind legs to grasp a ninja by the throat and toss it into the brick wall or into another ninja, almost as though the creature were playing with rag dolls. It was fierce and relentless, with a stamina for the fight that seemed to never run out. It was definitely some sort of mutation, and they guessed it started out as human, as it was wearing clothes – a torn black tank top and ripped jean shorts that looked like they'd been through hell, its tail torn through the worn fabric and what was left of the waistband tied in a knot at the top of its tail.

"Another mutant?!" Mikey exclaimed, watching the creature in awe.

"Shhh, keep it down," Leo whispered, the same awestruck look on his own face. They all seemed to be in silent agreement that they'd remain where they were and just watch. They had no idea what they'd be up against if they joined in on the fight. Would this lizard be on their side, or try to fight them too? It's body was a caramel brown with darker brown flecks across its scaly arms and back, and its head, neck, and shoulders were covered in threatening-looking spikes.

"I'll call it, 'The Dragon Warrior'," Mikey whispered, deciding on a name.

"It looks like he can handle himself on his own," Donnie observed in a low voice.

Leo nodded. "We stay here, I think it's best we wait and see what exactly this creature is. He's almost finished the fight anyway."

The four brothers simultaneously stooped a bit lower as they watched the creature smash the last of the ninjas into the wall. And simultaneously, four sets of lungs sucked in a gasp as the creature stood up on its hind legs as though it were the most natural thing to do, and stretch its arms above its head as though it just finished a routine workout. But its body…

"Never mind," Mikey said in a disbelieving hiss. "I call it, 'The Dragon Warrior Princess'…"

"It's female?" Raph exclaimed in a low whisper. He took in the creature's form, suddenly losing its lizard-like appearance and becoming very human-like as she stood on her sturdy, sculpted legs, the muscles in her thighs bulging from underneath her tattered shorts, her calves rippling. A toned pale yellow-brown midriff peeked underneath her ragged tank top, as her long, muscular arms stretched high overhead, carrying with them two perfect, perky breasts that certainly had all four boys awestruck. Raphael could feel his chest constricting as he took in the sight of her, his mind racing.

Donnie was the first to blink quickly and shake his head, breaking the trance and averting his eyes. He felt slightly ashamed for staring, but had to look back at her as she brought her clawed yet human-like hands down to her sides and brushed them on her shorts as though she just completed a simple task of digging in the garden. She then fell back down to all fours and returned to looking much like a lizard. She looked around for any signs of others nearby, and quick as a flash slithered into a nearby manhole, so sudden that the four brothers barely noticed the lid move.

"There's another mutant living in the sewers?" Mikey exclaimed, feeling the freedom to speak a little louder, "besides us?"

They all stood up taller, their minds reeling from what they just saw.

"I thought we knew about all the mutants…" Donnie spoke, his voice trailing off. "The Kraang have been gone for quite some time, you'd think we'd have seen or encountered any that may remain…"

"She's obviously pretty damn good at keeping herself hidden," Raph observed, staring at the spot she was standing in just moments ago. What was this feeling in him? It's like he couldn't catch his breath… like she stole the oxygen from beyond his lungs and out from his blood vessels. Was this what Donnie felt for April every time he saw her, before she finally admitted her feelings for him in return?

"Do you think she's a good guy?" Michelangelo wondered.

"Hard to say," Leo responded. "You would think so, beings she was fighting a common enemy, but we've had that happen to us before and it didn't turn out like we thought it would."

"You never know who you can trust," Raph added absently, still in a slight daze.

Leo turned to begin their trek back to the lair. They had a few hours left until dawn, but they all seemed to be in unspoken agreement that, even though the night was uneventful for them up until that point, they had had enough excitement. The other three began to silently follow Leo's lead, the only sounds coming from the traffic below, sirens in the distance, and the soft night breeze through the rooftops.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Raph felt an arm wrap around his neck and a body press to his carapace as he was pulled back against a structure on the rooftop. Before anyone could think he felt a knife at his throat and a hot breath against his neck. His heart hammered as his mind whirled. How did I let this happen? He couldn't help but wonder, shocked that his guard was down that far.

His brothers wore the same shocked expressions, though their weapons were at the ready.

"Don't think I didn't see you spying on me," a harsh female voice spoke firmly from beside Raphael's neck, the knife unmoving. It was her.

"The Dragon Warrior Princess is not on our side!" Michelangelo exclaimed angrily.

"Hold on, hold on," Leo said, trying to keep his voice calm as he lowered his katanas. "We don't want to hurt you."

"You're mutant ninjas," she spat back. "Obviously that must make you members of the Foot. How many fucking mutant ninjas are there in this city?"

"We were just wondering the same thing," Leo responded, still trying to keep his voice calm and level, gesturing towards the lizard woman, who still held fast to his brother in red.

Her eyes narrowed but her stance remained unmoving. Raphael refused to move as well, unsure of what her next move may be. He had seen this woman fight, and though confident in his own ability, he knew it was his best bet to just remain calm.

"We've been fighting against the Shredder and his Foot Clan for a long time," Donatello added hopefully, "We're on your side."

The lizard woman scowled. "I don't have a side," she growled in response. She slowly let go of Raph and lowered her knife back to her side, yet still held it at the ready. Raph finally let go of a breath he didn't realize he was holding, feeling slightly dizzy as he stepped cautiously away from her.

He finally got to get a closer look at her. He couldn't help but realize how perfect she looked, despite having just been held at knife-point by her mere seconds ago. She had the curves of a woman, her sleek, smooth scales an incredible shade of rich caramel. Her muscles bulged in her taut legs, her hips just wide enough to create a perfect hour glass at her tapered waist, her breasts full and firm under her tight black tank top. He could feel heat rising inside of him as he took in the prominence of her collar bones, the striations of her throat, the angle of her jaw… how he wanted press his lips to it, trace his tongue along the edge…

He shook himself from his trance and looked up to her eyes, set in a face that was strangely lizard and yet human at the same time. Her eyes were very human-like in shape, though lacking eyelashes. She had deep blue-brown irises flecked with gray that almost made them appear violet. Her lips were full, with a slight pout despite the scowl she wore. His mouth grew wet as he imagined those lips pressed against his own, against his neck, against his body… He took a deep breath and regained focus. What was he thinking? Other than her skin color and lack of hair, the only other obvious non-human feature was her nose, which wasn't a nose exactly, but rather a snout that came forward several inches from her face. Threatening-looking spikes jutted out from along the sides of her skull and down the back of her neck and across her shoulders, and while he could tell they were clearly for defensive purposes, they also gave the appearance of what should be human hair, cascading down her perfect sculpted shoulders. He wanted to run his palms along her scales, feel the smoothness of them in his hands, press her against his yearning body…

"You can be on our side," Leonardo offered, breaking Raph from his reverie. Raphael looked to Leo, curious to hear where this conversation would go from here. "You can work with us if you want. We can help you fight against them. We're the good guys, you can trust us."

They waited with bated breath for her response. She didn't move from her stance, still poised to attack if need be, though her eyes shifted from angry and guarded, to questioning and considering. She then lowered her eye ridges and shook her head. "I work alone. I've always worked alone, I will forever work alone."

"You don't have to," Raphael heard himself say.

"It's hard enough being a mutant hidden in a city of humans," Donnie added in. "Being surrounded by others who understand can make all the difference."

Her eyes squinted with a heavily guarded look, her shoulders rising slightly, causing her spikes to flare. "I don't belong with anyone. I work alone." She lifted her knife and pointed it at each one of them. "All of you, go back to where you came from and leave me be, I can handle myself. And if you come looking for me, I'll kill you." And with that, she pocketed her knife, dropped to all fours and scurried exactly like a lizard to the edge of the building and disappeared down the side of it, her long tail the last of her to disappear out of sight as it trailed behind like a graceful ribbon.

After a moment of stunned silence, the four turtles exchanged uncertain looks. "You sure she's on our side?" Mikey questioned.

Leo considered, then spoke, "Well, she made it clear she's not on anyone's side, but I honestly don't think she's one of the bad guys."

"Just an emotional basket case," Raphael chimed in.

"What do you know about emotions?" Donatello questioned him, an incredulous laugh hinting in the back of his voice, a cocky smile on his face.

Raph could feel his anger rise. His brother in purple had certainly gained quite a bit of confidence over the past several months of his relationship with April, and it only pissed Raphael off more. "She's obviously pretty fucked up, with all that 'I work alone', 'I don't need anybody' bullshit."

"I think she's pretty hot too, Raph," Mikey offered perceptively yet with light-hearted humor, patting him on the shoulder in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Raph forcefully jerked his shoulder away from Mikey. "Get offa me," he grumbled.

"Come on, guys," Leo broke in. "Let's head back to the lair. We should tell Master Splinter about this, and we all should get some sleep, too."

"I can't wait to tell April about this, too," Donnie mused, pulling his T-phone from his belt.

"Wait til we get to the lair, Donnie," Leo said. "We all need to wrap our heads around this first."

And with that, they all silently raced and leapt across the rooftops, riding on a buzz of adrenaline from what they just encountered as the cool early morning air whipped through their mask tails, excited to return to their home.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

We Meet Again

April was nearing the end of her first year studying journalism. She had signed up for afternoon and evening classes at her university, hoping to keep a schedule similar to her four mutant nocturnal friends. Not that they were nocturnal by nature – just by choice and circumstance, as they stayed out all night patrolling the city. She would attend class anywhere from 3pm to 11pm, and afterward either join them in patrolling the city or hanging out in the lair. She'd sleep in the early morning hours until late morning, hoping to rejoin them for training in the dojo midday or just hanging out before she had to get back to class in the afternoon. It was tricky, but she made it work, and somehow kept up with a part-time job as a barista on the late shift at a local coffee shop on weekends.

Donatello managed to hold off calling April the moment they got back to the lair, knowing she had most likely already gone to sleep. She had a huge exam coming up and had spent the night studying rather than hanging out with him, which he accepted without complaint, although deep down he hated being away from her more than he had to. He settled with a simple text, letting her know they had a very interesting night and he couldn't wait to tell her about it, and to call him as soon as she was awake. He didn't want to disturb her with a phone call when he knew she needed the sleep.

After sharing the story of their adventure with their father, the four brothers stayed up a little while longer wondering what they should do next.

"I still want a Dragon Warrior Princess to be on our team," Mikey declared, leaning forward and absently picking at the worn fabric of the sofa on which he perched.

"And how do you propose we get her on our team?" Donnie questioned from his seat in the recliner, although silently agreeing with his orange-clad brother.

"Especially if she threatened to kill us if we try to find her," Leo added, shifting to a cross-legged position in his bean bag on the floor. They were confident enough in themselves to know she couldn't, but none of them relished the idea of having to fight her.

"She seemed so sad and lonely," Mikey continued with a sad sigh. He was always surprisingly the most in-tune to other's emotions out of all of his brothers, as well as the most genuinely caring. "Do you think she'd actually try to kill us? Or is she just saying that?"

"She's probably just saying that," Raphael remarked, leaning against a wall behind them with his arms folded across his plastron. "Though I wouldn't put it past her to try."

Mikey slapped his hands to his knees and sat up straighter. "I think we should try to help her. She just needs some friends."

"I'm assuming she started out human," Donatello voiced, not intending to ignore his younger brother. "She's dressed like a human and moved quite a bit like a human…"

"Yeah, when she wasn't moving like a lizard," Leo pointed out.

Donnie shrugged. "She's good, that's for sure. How do you suppose she got mutated?"

It was Leo's turn to shrug. "Hard tellin'. And how long has she been living like this, I wonder?"

"Does she have a family that misses her?" Mikey wondered. "And friends? And school? And a life?" A look of gloom and sadness clouded over his face as he considered all that she may have lost from her former life.

"No wonder she's such a bitch," Raph commented.

Donnie chuckled. "Again with the emotional observations, Raph."

"Raphie's in looooove," Mikey sang with a teasing grin.

"Shut up, Mikey," Raph growled threateningly. He shifted his glare to Donatello. "And get over yourself, Donnie, just because you got a girlfriend doesn't make you an expert all of a sudden." Donnie just smirked and let his gaze roam away from Raphael. Raph groaned and threw his hands up. "Whatever, fuck it, I'm going to bed." And he turned on his heel and left.

It wasn't long after Raphael left that the remaining three brothers went to their own rooms to turn in for a few hours of sleep. Their sleep was broken, due to the excitement of their discovery and the possibilities that came with it, but they finally gave in to a few hours of sound sleep. Donnie was the first to wake, his T-phone ringing from his nightstand causing his tired eyes to pop open. His heart flipped when he saw April on the caller ID. He secretly hoped his heart would never stop flipping at the sight of her calling or the sound of her voice. He quickly fumbled for the cell while glancing at the clock, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. She must have just woken up and saw his text message. He answered her call. "April!" he croaked, his voice still clouded with sleep. He cleared it and tried again, "Hey!"

"Hi!" her cheery voice came from the other end. "I couldn't wait to call you! I hope it's not too early?"

Donnie sat up and swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stretched and yawned. "No, no, you're fine!"

"I got your text and the suspense was too much! I had to call. What happened last night?"

Donnie didn't hesitate. "We met another mutant!"

" _What?!"_ April exclaimed incredulously. "I thought the whole mutant thing was behind us?"

"Yeah, we did too," Donnie replied. "It's been so long, we figured if there were any mutants left, we would have encountered them by now." He shook his head. "Apparently not though. This one is _good_."

"What did he look like?" April asked. "And is he on our side?"

"Well, _he_ is actually a _she_ , and we're not sure whose side she's on, but we do at least share the same enemy. She was fighting the Foot."

"Wow, a girl?" April paused for consideration. Aside from the situation with Karai, they had never dealt with a female mutant before. "Was she alone?"

"Yeah, it was pretty impressive actually, she took on about a dozen Foot ninjas single-handedly, and won. It was pretty crazy."

"Damn… wonder how she got so skilled… So tell me what she looked like!" April was eager to hear more about their discovery, Donnie could almost see her sitting at the edge of her seat in anticipation.

"She's a lizard. We watched her from above, she looked exactly like a giant lizard. Maybe a bearded dragon? She's got spikes all across her head and neck and shoulders, and at her elbows. Long tail, she used it like a whip. I'm telling you, it was crazy."

"How did you know she's a girl?" April questioned.

"Well, we couldn't tell until she stood up on her back legs, and suddenly looked, well, _human_."

"Do you think she started out human?" April asked.

"She was wearing human clothes, and spoke like a human, so it seems like the obvious conclusion."

"Wait, wait, you _talked_ to her?"

Donnie cleared his throat, then continued, "Well, yeah, after we got her to calm down after holding Raph at knife-point…" Donnie heard a scuffling sound at the other end of the phone. Did she drop it? "Hello?" he asked.

"Holy _shit_ , _what?_ " April exclaimed, pulling herself and her T-phone together. "How did she manage to do _that?_ " Nobody evades Raphael.

"We were just as blown away by it. Like I said, she's _good_. We pretty much unanimously invited her to join our team. After we got her to let go of Raph, of course."

"You asked her to join you after she just threatened your brother?" April asked in disbelief.

"She thought we were the bad guys," Donnie explained. "And who could blame her? We're mutant ninjas – the Foot are ninjas and have had their fair share of mutants working for them. What could she expect?"

April considered, then agreed, "Yeah, you've got a point. I take it she believed you, after you told her you're the good guys?"

"I guess so, but she seemed so guarded… We think she's really been through something, hard telling what's going on in her head."

April sighed. "We should help her," she confirmed.

Donnie shook his head and stared at his bare toes on the floor. "I don't know if it'll be that simple. She threatened to kill us if we tried to find her."

"Well then don't make it look like you went looking for her," April said. "Make it look like an accident and you just ran into her."

Donnie thought for a moment, then replied, "It's not that simple. First of all, we don't know where to find her. We have no idea how long she's been around, but it's obviously been a long time because we haven't had to deal with mutagen issues in, what? I mean it's been over six months since we defeated the Kraang? How did we miss her?" Donnie rubbed the back of his neck, then continued, "And besides that, she's _good_. She didn't let on in the slightest that she knew we were up on that building watching her, never once looked up in our direction. She literally disappeared into the sewer, and we were just getting ready to head back to the lair when she jumped us and caught Raph. Completely out of the blue! We didn't hear her, see her, sense her, nothing." He waved his hand in finality as though she could see him.

"Damn…" April breathed. She paused for a moment of thought, then offered, "Well, maybe I can help?"

Donnie perked up at this idea. Why did he always so easily forget that April had psychic abilities? "Of course!" He exclaimed. "I didn't even think of that!" He heard April chuckle on the other end. Her laugh made his heart soar. She appreciated that he looked at her as so _normal_ when she felt she was the farthest thing from it. "If you want to, of course, we'd be more than—"

"I'd be happy to, Donnie," April interrupted sweetly. Donnie smiled, his heart nearly floating completely out of his shell.

Donnie couldn't go back to sleep after talking with April, so he started his day early, sauntering out to the kitchen to get the coffee started. But, he found that someone had beat him to it. "Good morning, Leo," Donnie greeted, stretching his arms behind him to get the last of the sleep out of his body. "How did you sleep?"

Leo shook his head as he grabbed another coffee mug for Donnie and placed it next to his own. He filled them both and replied, "Not the best. Just couldn't stop thinking about that girl…" He handed Donnie his mug. "Did you get to talk to April?"

Donnie nodded with a warm smile and took a small sip from his cup. "Just got off the phone with her. She said she'd help us find her!" Donnie grinned at his brother, excited at the prospect of his girlfriend helping out in such a huge way.

Leo raised his eye ridges, his eyes lighting up. "Geez I didn't even think of that!" He leaned back against the counter top and looked thoughtful.

Donnie laughed and shook his head, then took a seat at the table and placed his mug in front of him. "I know, I tend to forget she's not entirely human sometimes…" He took another sip. "She's coming straight over after class. Maybe we can find this gal again tonight and try to talk to her…"

"Dragon Warrior Princess," a younger voice corrected them, and they turned to see Mikey entering the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Are we going to try to find her?" he asked excitedly.

"We need a plan, first," Leo stated rationally. "We can't just jump her, we all saw what she did last night. She's skilled."

Donnie nodded in agreement. "Maybe April can help with that too?"

Leo paused for consideration, then said, "Let's talk to her when she gets here."

It wasn't long after April arrived that they had a plan devised. The five of them quietly left the lair together, the four turtles ascending the nearest fire escape as April hung back in the alley and took in her surroundings. She took a deep breath, and, knowing that she was safe with her four guardians' watchful eyes above her, she closed her eyes and tuned in to her senses. She let the city noises drown out around her. She closed herself from feeling the comfortable night air that was finally transitioning fully into the warmth of spring. She tried to _feel_. She connected. She felt Donnie, his anticipation as he watched over her, his love for her and desire to keep her safe while simultaneously letting her be free to take care of herself. It was easy to tune into Donnie. He was hers and she was his. She smiled at the comfort and warmth of their blossoming relationship, how she wished she hadn't dragged her feet so long before admitting she had feelings for him too…

 _Focus_ , she commanded herself. She tuned in to the other brothers. Michelangelo's excitement and eager anticipation. It made her feel bouncy and giddy. Leo, calm and strong, his mind alert with their plan, yet open and flexible to sudden changes. She felt on-guard and prepared, confident and ready. Raphael… She felt her eyebrows furrow in concentration. Raph felt different… eager like the rest of them, but she connected to his heart rather than his mind. He wanted to see this girl again… She smiled at the realization. Connecting to him brought her back to her early crush on his brother in purple, the silly giddiness she felt, yet the nervousness of it all… Raph felt something for this lizard woman, the early ignition of a spark of something that could grow into… who knows what?

And suddenly, she connected to her target without any effort. _Raph must have been the bridge,_ April realized, his connection to the lizard in his heart being the connection she needed in her mind. She stood up straighter and taller and walked confidently out into the busy night life of the city, blending into the moving droves of people as they got off work to head home or off to happy hour, unknowing of the mysterious creatures cohabiting their city with them.

"She's got something," Donnie whispered to his brothers on the rooftop above, as they watched April walk out to the sidewalk. They began to move stealthily across the rooftops, keeping up with her as she moved through the people around her, focused on her mission.

They rounded several corners and covered several more blocks, falling deeper into a quieter, emptier, more run-down part of the city, when April began to slow down. The turtles were on-guard more so than ever, knowing the lizard could sneak up on them at any moment. So far, they sensed they were alone.

April came to a complete stop and looked around hesitantly. The brothers watched from above as she closed her eyes and held her temples, deep in concentration. For a brief moment, Raph noticed her look up at them and make eye contact with him. _What was that about?_ he wondered, feeling slightly invaded as a shiver ran down his spine. She was back within herself instantly, eyes closed again, concentrating hard. He glanced at his brothers, but none of them seemed to notice that it was him she connected with at that moment. They continued watching, their anticipation almost palpable.

It was so quiet… Donnie was beginning to feel edgy, worried for his girlfriend's safety as she stood alone in the dark alley. They were far enough away from the hustle and bustle of the city night life, and none of them could hear anything alarming or concerning. They were alone on the rooftop with the few emerging stars that shone bright enough to pierce the city's atmosphere, the cool night breeze, and the traffic sounds in the distance.

"Auughhh!" April suddenly screamed, her voice strangled at the end of her cry. The turtles bolted to attention, but Leo held his arms out to signal everyone to stay put as they took in the situation.

Raph's heart skipped a beat. Donnie's blood boiled. It was everything he could do to follow Leo's orders, rather than leap from the rooftop and attack. It was her. April found her after all, or, was it that she found April?

She stood poised at the ready on her back legs, looking very human-like aside from the long tail that snaked from behind her, the end of which was wrapped around April's neck, pinning her against the wall behind her. She held her knife towards April as April grasped at the tail around her neck. "Who sent you?" the lizard demanded menacingly through bared teeth.

"Please…" April choked out as she struggled to loosen the lizard's grip. "I just…" she could barely get another word out. The lizard stepped closer to her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Hey! Hope you're enjoying so far! Thanks for the review, hope to see more! ;). This contains a little action, lots of emotions, and some Apritello fluff. Lil bit of everything. I'm currently working on some original fiction so this is a lot of fun to write for practice. Critique is welcome! I guess I should probably mention that I do not own TMNT (sad face). That goes for the first two chapters, this one, and the rest to follow. I don't even own a lizard, though I would like to someday. I do own that fun OC I've grown to love though, and I hope you're enjoying her so far! Let's learn a little bit more about her, shall we? Enjoy!**

Chapter 3

Back to the Lair

"What are you doing here?" the lizard tried again, her voice an angry hiss. She loosened her grip around April's neck just enough so she could speak.

April coughed for a moment, then tried to regain composure despite her circumstances. She decided to go with honesty. How much more fucked up could everything get, anyway? "I sensed you…" she said.

The lizard seemed taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"I can feel things… and I sensed a strange presence…" April tried to keep her eyes level with the lizard's. Her heart hammered in her chest, but somehow she knew everything would turn out okay… she just had to keep her cool…

The lizard's eye ridges furrowed over her narrowed eyes. "So you just came wandering out to a dark alley looking for a strange presence?" she growled incredulously. "That sounds safe." She lifted her knife up towards April, teeth bared. "And quite like a lie…"

April struggled to shake her head. "I'm not lying, please. I didn't sense it was a threat, I'm not trying to hurt you, just give me a chance here okay?" She continued to clutch at the tail around her neck.

"Do you sense a threat now?" the lizard hissed, her tongue snaking between her teeth as she wielded the knife closer.

Above, Donnie tried to advance but Leo held him off. "She's got this…" Leo whispered.

"If anything happens to her I'll personally feed you to that thing," Donnie hissed back.

April swallowed hard. "No," she responded confidently.

Again, the lizard looked taken aback. April tried to clear her throat. "I sense fear, and that you're very guarded. I sense you want to believe me." April held her eyes on the lizard's. "You can," she finished.

They held each other's gaze for a moment, and finally the lizard released her hold on April, retracting her tail but not lowering her knife. April breathed a sigh of relief. The lizard slightly cocked her head to the side, taking in the redhead in front of her. "So, what, are you psychic?"

April shrugged, nervously rubbing her sweaty palms across her neck. "Or something," she replied.

"You're not alone, are you?" the lizard asked, more like a statement than a question.

"Here, yes," April gestured to the alley they were in. "But I'm not entirely alone. Like I said, I didn't sense a threat. You're not the bad guy." April hoped her voice sounded convincing – inside she was doing everything she could not to let her voice crack or waver.

The lizard rolled her eyes and dropped her hands at her sides, finally lowering her knife. April relaxed a little more. "This has something to do with those turtles from last night, doesn't it?"

April considered her response for a moment, then said, "They're my friends."

"Did they tell you I'd kill them if they came looking for me?" The lizard glared at April, yet April sensed a hesitation in the creature's eyes.

"Yes." April responded firmly.

The lizard kept her eyes locked on April's. "Obviously nobody took me seriously?"

April opened her arms out. "Well, you had your chance. Here's another one for ya. Finish me off." She waited with her eyes locked on the lizard. Donnie was about to come out of his shell from the rooftop above, and now Leo and Raph were both physically holding him back at each arm.

Finally the lizard threw her hands up, rolling her eyes and turning on her heel, the first time she showed any bit of vulnerability the entire time. April finally relaxed completely, her shoulders dropping as a weight lifted off of her, and she sensed the relief of her four mutant friends from above her. "I ain't that kind of person," the lizard huffed in frustration. "I shouldn't make empty threats." She turned back toward April and waved her knife at her. "But _you_ try living in my shoes for over a year and see if _you_ trust anybody!"

April took a step forward, her arms slightly outstretched, her palms down in an attempt to offer a sense of calm and peace to the lizard, who only continued to stare back at April with a guarded air about her, though her knife was no longer pointed at her in defense. "I can understand, trust me," April continued. "The turtles have been a huge part of my life for quite a while now. They know what you're going through. We can help you, if you'll let us…"

The lizard actually seemed to be considering April's words for a moment, her guard nearly down completely at this point, when suddenly from out of nowhere seven black hooded figures leapt into the alley and ambushed the girls. "Shit," April hissed as she snatched her tessen.

In a split second the lizard was in full attack mode, her tail lashed out at several approaching Foot ninjas, her knife in one hand and her razor-sharp claws flexed in the other. She was too unprepared, though, her tail throwing her center of gravity just enough that she stumbled and cried out as her ankle twisted from under her, while at the same time a Foot ninja pounced toward her. She had half a mind left through the pain to block the ninja with her forearm, throwing him toward the nearby brick wall, but not soon enough to avoid the large, deep gash the ninja left in her thigh with his blade. "Aagghh!" she growled in pain as blood seeped quickly from the wound.

April barely noticed what happened to the lizard as she worked hard to defend her own self from the attack, her tessen flying as her body dodged, jumped, and ducked each blow. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, but it had only been mere seconds after the attack that the four turtles were in the alley fighting off the last of them. They defeated all but one, who retreated into the darkness, leaving them alone in the alley surrounded by the bodies of their enemies.

The lizard had dragged herself back behind a dumpster. She was beginning to feel lightheaded from the loss of blood, her chest rising and falling heavily as she tried to steady her breathing. Raphael was the first to run to her aid. "Holy shit," he breathed at the sight of the large puddle of blood growing steadily underneath her. He advanced toward her to help, but she hissed at him, her sharp teeth bared through her snarl, her eyes shooting daggers.

"Get the fuck away from me!" she screamed at him, her voice angry and ragged.

"We have to help you!" Raph exclaimed. April was immediately at Raph's side, tearing a strip of fabric from her shirt, but the lizard had her knife outstretched, as to not let April come closer.

"You set me up! You _fuckers_!" she screamed at them, her voice cracking.

"No!" April cried, waving her hands in defense. "No, no, no!"

Leo stepped forward and knelt on the ground in front of her. She kicked a clawed foot at him, but he instinctively grabbed her ankle and prevented her from moving any further. "We had nothing to do with the attack," Leo offered calmly. "Please, you have to let us help you."

Her strength was wavering, but she tried desperately to remain strong. They could all see her arm shaking as she tried to hold the knife steady. Raphael reached forward and swiftly snatched the knife from her hands. "Ah!" the lizard winced, realizing just how weak she'd actually become from the loss of blood. The anger and malice in her eyes was quickly replaced by fear, as though she saw the end drawing near. April was immediately at her side as Raph held her brown arms away from any attempt to try to prevent April from helping her.

The redhead quickly and skillfully tied a tourniquet around the lizard's thigh with the fabric she had ripped from her shirt. "Donnie's got everything we need to dress this in the lair, let's get moving," she commanded, and without hesitation, Raphael reached one arm behind her back and the other under her knees, lifting her close to his plastron and following his brothers and April through the nearest manhole. Mikey picked up the rear and closed the lid above them.

The lizard was racing with adrenaline – her heart, her head, her eyes darting back and forth between squeezing them shut against the pain. It was the only thing keeping her from completely passing out. "This is your fault," she growled to no one in particular.

"We don't want to hurt you," Raph offered, his hold of her tightening.

She sensed a warmth from his body as he held her. A tenderness about him, and a softening feeling crept through her insides – something she hadn't felt in a very, very long time. She blocked the feeling from growing inside of her any further, putting her wall up around her once again. She couldn't trust these creatures. Any mutants she's ever encountered couldn't be trusted, why should these be any different?

Raphael held her as steadily as he could, his taut biceps and deltoids fully engaged as he pressed her to him, leaping swiftly through the tunnels back to the lair. Her breathing slowed as she felt the world fading around her, and she couldn't help but lean her head forward on his plastron. "We're almost there," he whispered to her between heavy breaths from the exertion. "Hang in there."

She took a labored inhale, and allowed herself to bask in his smell of sweat and leather and primal musk. One last surrendering thought floated through her mind as she closed her eyes. _Everything's going to be okay…_

The group barreled into Donnie's lab, immediately attending to the lizard's needs and following Donnie's every command. Raphael had placed her gently on the cot as Leo gathered medical supplies and Donnie searched through his jars and vials of different mutagen medicines until settling on one and snatching it from its place on the shelf. April began working with the antiseptic, trying to be gentle, until she realized the lizard was out cold. Raph could see the look of fear cross April's eyes as he sat at the cot, holding the lizard's head. "She's still hanging in there, do whatcha gotta do," Raph ordered, knowing what was going through April's head. She nodded bravely and continued working.

In no time, Donnie had threaded his needle and began quickly applying stitches, and before they knew it her wound was cleaned and closed and wrapped firmly in gauze and bandages. Donnie took the vial he had retrieved moments ago and held her chin to tilt her head back, allowing a few drops to enter her mouth. He tried to encourage the medicine to trickle down her throat, and she responded with a long, shallow breath.

Raphael let go of the air he had been holding in his lungs, his heart hammering, and he looked to Donnie for any thoughts or encouragement. Donnie turned to Raphael and nodded. "She'll be fine. She needs to rest." He asked Leo to get ice for her sprained ankle, which was now swollen, as he began wrapping it.

Raphael nodded in response, feeling hopeful. "I'll stay with her," he offered. The others didn't argue, and after the supplies were cleaned and put away, Donnie made certain one last time that she was stable, and they all gradually left the lab, one by one.

Later, in Donnie's room, April sat at the edge of his bed, her face in her palms as her elbows pressed on her knees, which were elevated by her tip toes. The deep purple ambiance of the room engulfed them, the warm orange glow of a dim lamp on the nightstand the only light they had, but it was just what they needed – soothing and calming. Donnie sat down next to her, the bedsprings squeaking under his weight, and he placed a tentative palm on her back, gently stroking with his thumb. "You okay?" he asked softly.

April sat up, trying to relax her body but feeling way too on edge to fully allow herself to let go. She shook her head. "That was the most I've ever relied on my ability…" she said. Donnie listened intently, gazing deep into her eyes, silently letting her know he was completely here for her. She continued on, the night light glinting in her blue eyes, her lower lids squinting upward, "I mean, she could have killed me, ya know? Nobody knew what exactly she was going to do… but, in a way, I _did_. I knew she was bluffing. I felt her fear, her distrust, her rage, all at the same time. It was so… surreal…" Her voice trailed off and she looked down at her knees.

Donnie rubbed her back. "You were amazing," he said quietly. "I was terrified, Leo and Raph had to hold me back from jumping to your rescue, I couldn't stand the sight of her threatening you like that." He paused, not wanting it to sound like he thought she was helpless. "I knew you could handle it. I know you're strong, I know you're capable. I just…" he shook his head, "can't stand the thought of anything happening to you." He looked down at his knees and just breathed.

She turned to him and smiled, placing her hand on his thigh and giving it a squeeze. "I know," she replied softly.

They sat in silence together, processing what they had just been through. Then Donnie spoke up, a question on his mind. "How were you able to find her, anyway?" he asked.

April chewed the inside of her cheek as she thought back to that first moment in the alley, after her four friends leapt up to the rooftop on the fire escape. "It was interesting, actually…" she began. "I can tune into you guys, ya know?" she turned to him to check for understanding in his eyes, before she continued. "I can feel you the strongest, for obvious reasons." He smiled warmly at her. "So I let myself feel that, I could feel your fear and your strength, your hesitation and your determination… then I moved on to your brothers, Leo, then Mikey, and Raph was the last one but instead of in his head I got drawn to his heart… And at first I was confused but then I realized…" she paused, searching Donnie's face, which was leaning closer to hers, eagerly waiting for her to continue. Should she divulge this information? Would that be invading Raphael's privacy? She didn't mean to tap into that feeling in him, it was an accident…

"What?" Donnie asked in earnest.

April bit her lip. "Please don't repeat any of this, especially to Raphael," she pleaded. Donnie's eyeridges knit together, looking slightly concerned, but he gave her a nod. She took a breath then continued. "I realized, he has _feelings_ for this woman…" She swallowed as a sly smile crept across Donnie's face, his eyes lighting up.

"I knew it," he breathed, grinning.

"The feelings I picked up on in him…" she continued on, reflecting on the experience, "Led me right to her." She looked into her boyfriend's eyes. "He's sensitive about this," she pressed on. "Please don't give him a hard time."

Donatello leaned his head back and groaned. "I won't," he replied, dragging out the words with a whine. He turned back to look at her, humorous frustration laced across his brows and lips. "But do you know how much this is going to _eat_ at me?" he asked. "Raph is such an asshole, do you know how much shit I've taken from him since you and I have been together? I mean, he used to be a little more… well, gentle about it before we finally became a – a _thing_." April chuckled and smiled warmly. "Then once we got together, he shifted completely, he's been a dick about it ever since!"

April nodded, thinking back to all the times Raphael unmercifully picked on his "lover boy" brother these past few months. "He's jealous, you know," she replied.

Donnie gave a thoughtful nod and answered, "I do know that. But it doesn't make it any easier to deal with."

April wrapped her hand behind his forearm and pulled herself against him. "Well, be gentle with him. We all know he's a hotheaded ball of rage that doesn't deal well with emotional stuff. This is going to be way harder for him than it ever was for you."

Donnie leaned in toward his girlfriend with a smile, resting his forehead against hers. "I just hope he doesn't make as much of an idiot of himself around her as I did around you," he said quietly.

April giggled. "You were pretty hilarious, I gotta say," she replied, and saw his cheeks burn red. She planted a soft kiss on his lips, and his eyes met hers. "But adorable. I've always cared about you differently than the others. I just wish I knew how to express that to you sooner." She brought her hand up to caress his cheek, feeling the remorse in her heart for stringing Donnie along like she did. How did he still even want to be with her after all that?

He cupped her hand on his face and held it, soaking in her warmth, taking in the sorrow in her eyes. "It's okay, really. So much happened to all of us… And you lost so much… I couldn't have expected you to try to pursue a relationship with me through all of that. It would have been selfish."

April sighed. "I would say it could have been the only true joy I could have pulled out of that whole time during the invasion." She wrinkled her nose, then continued, "But I doubt I would have even been able to enjoy it with Casey there breathing down my neck."

Donnie laughed, remembering how competitive they got around each other. "Jesus, April, how you even wanted one of us at all after all that is beyond me. We treated you like a piece of meat." Donnie looked down with shame in his eyes. He never meant for it to turn into that, but it seemed as though his teenage hormones had gotten the better of him. And Casey, too.

It was April's turn to laugh. Oh how he loved that sweet sound, how it buoyed his heart. He couldn't help but smile at her. "Ya know, no offense or anything, but you guys were so childish and stupid, it was almost funny at times. I mean, there we were, hiding in the wilderness in a run-down old house, all of us having possibly lost our fathers while our home city was under attack by an evil alien race, and here I was dealing with a mutant turtle and an idiot human wagging their dicks at me like a couple of animals." She laughed harder and shook her head. "It was so ridiculous, it was funny. Like comic relief, ya know?"

"Um.. glad I could help?" Donnie responded, unsure of how to take her remark.

April chuckled and leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling the edge of his carapace on the back of her head. He wrapped his arm around her waist, still processing how exactly to feel about what she said. "What I mean is, it's okay," she explained. "I know what teenage hormones are like, too. They make us do some pretty stupid stuff." He snorted a small agreeing laugh. April smiled and continued, "I always knew I liked you, I just didn't know how to show it, or if I even should, not with everything we had going on. And if I did try to be with you, it would put a rift in my friendship with Casey, and I just couldn't afford to have that happen, not while we all needed to hold together as a team, as a family."

Donnie nodded, fully understanding. His thoughts wandered to their friend, who had amazingly been accepted into MIT. April's tutoring ended up paying off. They hadn't seen him in awhile, though he stayed in touch. Donnie gave her a squeeze. "It amazes me how strong you are. How strong you've always been. It's one thing I love most about you." He pressed his lips against her head, taking in the scent of her hair, musty with sweat yet still slightly sweet from yesterday's shampoo. Butterflies fluttered up into her heart as she snuggled in closer. She let the butterflies take the reins. She wanted him. After reminiscing on all they'd been through together, knowing how he felt about her all along but not being able to tell him she felt the same, hanging onto hope that they'd make it through it all so that one day she could finally tell him how she felt, and maybe finally be with him… Then after the adrenaline rush from their most recent adventure… She needed to escape with him. She grasped the back of his arm and lifted her head, pressing her lips against his, breathing him in as she did.

He felt her warmth tingle through him, an excited vibration that he wanted to last forever. They had been together for a few months now and every time she kissed him he still couldn't believe it was real. He turned to wrap both arms around her, pressing his palms against her back as he deepened the kiss, then allowing his hands to roam, up to her shoulders, her neck, plunging his fingers into her loose ponytail and freeing her hair as he laced his fingers further into it. He drank in the senses, the feel of her under his hands and against his lips. Yes, this was real. This was so, very, beautifully, perfectly real.

Her tongue traced along his upper lip, and he parted his lips, granting her entrance as his tongue met hers, rough and hot against soft and sweet. A soft moan escaped her, her hot breath wafting against his lips. He smiled against her as his tongue continued its exploration, and he brought a knee up onto the mattress, guiding her to lie back against the bed as he continued to kiss her passionately. She brought her hands up and clutched at the back of his skull, tugging at his mask tails as she brought her knees up to either side of him. He was fully above her, kissing her deeply, their heat rising as their breathing got heavier. He lowered himself to her side and she turned to continue their passionate kissing, legs entwined, and he left her mouth to continue kissing along her jawline, toward her neck just under her ear. She panted in response, her fingernails digging into his deltoids, his breath causing intense tingling down her sides. He pressed his palm against her hip, dragging it up and finding her exposed midriff from having torn her shirt earlier. He was becoming more and more brave about touching her exposed skin, and he allowed himself to enjoy the smoothness of her soft belly, his fingertips rising to brush against her bottom rib. She gasped in excitement, but he stopped, leaning back to look in her eyes.

"Why'd you stop?" she breathed, her chest practically heaving from the excitement, her hands still on his shoulders.

He responded with another deep kiss on her lips, his hand moving up to cup her cheek as he leaned on his other elbow. He pulled away and looked longingly into her eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered apologetically. "I guess I'm still a little freaked out… about… all of it."

April looked confused, then brought her hand up to stroke his cheek. "All of what?" she asked softly.

He sighed. "Our differences, and… where this all is leading to…" He averted his eyes from her, yet still held her cheek, absently stroking it with his thumb.

April smiled and turned her face into his hand, pressing her lips against his thumb. "We'll take this as slow as we need to." She looked deeply into his eyes. "But don't ever question how much I want you. How much I want this. You make me happier than I've ever felt before. And I want to share everything with you. Okay?"

He let go of a deep breath and laid his head on the mattress next to her, pulling her in to snuggle in the afterglow of their passionate kissing. "I want that too."

"We'll get there. Don't worry about it." She snuggled her head under his chin and relaxed into him, listening to his breathing and enjoying the scent of him and the quiet of his room.

 _Poor Raph,_ Donnie couldn't help but think as his mind wandered to his brother and their new lizard friend. _I hope he gets to experience this someday…_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! We get to learn a bit more about this lizard woman, and she gets to learn how to finally put her guard down. She's going to have to figure out what to do with her stirred up emotions though... Enjoy!**

Chapter 4

Recovery

It wasn't long before the lizard woke up. Raphael's heart skipped a beat upon seeing her eyes flutter open as her breathing became deeper and fuller. She moaned groggily and tried to sit up, but dropped back as she winced at the pain in her leg.

"Easy," Raph said gently. The lizard observed the bandages wrapped around her thigh, and the brace that had been placed around her sprained ankle while she was out. She then glared at Raphael, trying to look angry, but he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. Finally she gave up and laid her head back.

"What the fuck," she muttered to the ceiling.

Raph sighed. Just then, Donnie came in to check on her, and his eyes lit up upon seeing her awake. He called over his shoulder. "She's awake!"

"Ugh," the lizard groaned. "What am I, a side show?" She tried to roll over, but her leg wouldn't allow it.

Donnie sat down next to the cot to examine her wound, carefully unwrapping the bandages. "No, you're a new friend. We all care about you. Besides, Leo is out with Master Splinter, and I doubt Mikey even heard me, he's absorbed in a video game."

The lizard spat out a laugh. "I'm nobody's friend. Now get me the fuck up outta here."

"What's your name?" Donnie asked, ignoring her comment as he inspected the stitches and the healing taking place beneath them.

"Spike," she replied without hesitation.

"Um, no, your name is not fucking 'Spike'," Raphael retorted with a grimace.

"And why the hell not?" she challenged.

Donnie interrupted softly, with a calming hand on her shoulder, "Because Raph used to have a pet turtle named Spike." He then nodded with approval at the healing process of her leg, and rewrapped it with fresh bandages.

She squinted her eyes before rolling them and looking away. "A mutant turtle with a pet turtle?" she muttered, then shook her head. "This is so stupid."

Raph felt defensive anger rising in him, but before it could boil up any further, Donnie broke in. "I'm Donatello," he offered. "You can call me Donnie. This is Raphael, you can call him Raph."

"What, are we in the Renaissance?" she mocked.

Donnie smiled. "Someone knows their art history." She rolled her eyes again. "On that note," Donnie continued, "our brother with the blue mask is Leonardo, or Leo, and the one with the orange is Michelangelo, or Mikey."

"You have got to be kidding me."

Just then April entered the room, her eyes brightening upon seeing the lizard awake and doing well, for the most part. "And that's April," Donnie added, then continued with an extra bit of pride in his voice, "my girlfriend." His eyes sparkled, he loved it every time he got to say that. Raph rolled his eyes.

April smiled at the lizard, who looked incredulously from Donnie to April, then back to Donnie again. "Your _girlfriend?_ " she scoffed.

April sat down with the two brothers. "Yes, his girlfriend," she confirmed with confidence. "So, do you have a name?"

The lizard didn't move. "Not Spike," she responded levelly.

April chuckled. "I would hope not. And it had better not be 'Slash' either. So what is it then?"

The lizard met April's probing eyes, then finally sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. "It used to be Autumn," she responded in a low voice. "When I was human."

Donnie and Raph exchanged victorious glances as April smiled at Autumn. _Now we're getting somewhere!_ their eyes said silently to one another.

"Autumn," April repeated, then patted her arm. "Welcome to the lair, where your fucked up life will be a little less fucked up and a little more happy." She smiled encouragingly at her.

April's comment coaxed a small laugh out of Autumn, which made Raphael grin even more. Was she finally warming up to them? "I don't know about 'less fucked up'," Autumn responded.

"You said you were human?" Donnie asked curiously.

"Yeah," Autumn responded after a short pause, a faraway look in her eyes.

"You mind telling us what happened?" April asked carefully, her voice soft and compassionate.

Autumn studied her face. Was April genuine? She looked at the mutant turtles, whom she still couldn't believe were the good guys. No mutant ninja was a good guy. She felt a random pang in her leg, bringing her back to reality, and the awareness that, good guys or not, she's at their mercy thanks to this injury. She looked down at the bandage wrapped around her thigh. _They did save me…_ she thought in their defense, feeling a little less distrusting of the whole situation. It was hard for her to allow herself to believe it. She looked back up at April, and at Raphael and Donatello, all three of them waiting anxiously for her story.

"Yeah… I mind…" Autumn replied, remorse tinging the edges of her voice.

April pursed her lips, then responded, "I'm sure it's hard to relive it… and scary… but just know that you're not actually reliving it. You're here with us, you're safe. We're here for you." She squeezed her scaly forearm and Autumn softened even more at the gesture. This girl really was psychic, wasn't she? It was exactly what she feared – having to relive that nightmare if she spoke the story out loud. Autumn licked her lips, carefully studying April's blue eyes, the concern etched in every feature on her face. She's really pretty, Autumn realized, with a pang of jealousy towards the redhead. Long gone were the days she was pretty…

She sighed heavily. Might as well tell them. It'd be the first time she's ever spoken of what happened. They'd be the first to know everything. Hell, they're the first she's ever spoken to at all since it happened. "It was about a year ago… I think…" she began hesitantly, and she felt the three of them lean in closer. She looked at each of them, trying to find the courage to continue. She was so afraid of reliving the nightmare. But, she realized, she had to relive it in real nightmares, so often when she slept alone in the sewers, day after day. How much worse could talking about it be? As if sensing her fear, April squeezed her arm again. _This girl is okay,_ Autumn thought, taking her in once more. She sighed again, then thought of where exactly to begin her story. Deciding on the only connection she could make of this whole mess, she began again. "Okay, so… I was at home, getting ready to meet up with some friends later that night, and my brother called me. Said he had to work late, would I mind feeding his pet?" April nodded, listening intently, Donnie and Raph had their eyes locked on her. "He has a pet lizard, a bearded dragon. Pretty big guy, but he's sweet. I hated the thing at first, thought he was gross, but he grew on all of us." Donnie's eye ridges knit together, the gears turning in his head, waiting for the rest of her story so the puzzle pieces could all fit together. "So, I fed him, played with him a little bit. I liked how he moved, so fluid, ya know?" She felt silly going into that much detail. She went back to the point of her story, trying to get it over with. "Anyway. Put him back. I don't know if he had something to do with it or not… I mean, it's a damn lizard, he doesn't have any special powers or anything. So I'm ready to go meet my friends, it's almost the end of the school year and we're excited about summer vacation and we wanted to celebrate a little. I walk outside, and there's these… glowing things falling from the sky…" She gestured around with her hands as she told the story. Raph, Donnie, and April's eyes all simultaneously widened. Donnie swallowed hard. Autumn looked up at the ceiling, as though watching the canisters fall all over again. "And I'm watching it, like, what the hell is this? And, somehow, against all odds, one of them lands at my feet and shatters, and this, oozey greenish stuff kinda splashes up out at me and gets all over my legs and my shoes…" her voice trailed off, her eyes still far away.

The three of them knew exactly what happened next, but they silently waited for her to finish her story. Autumn studied them, waiting for a reaction but instead she was met with eagerness for the rest of her story. "I…" she tried to continue, searching for the words. "I felt… sick? I felt… like… things were moving in me that shouldn't be moving… like… twisting? And I felt like I was going to black out… but it didn't exactly hurt…. It wasn't comfortable though… Ya know?" She looked at the two turtles, figuring they had to know what she was describing. Neither one of them let on that they did, though. "Then everything kinda stopped. I had stumbled back into the alley next to my apartment building, fortunately, because I'm not sure what would have happened if anyone saw all that." She held up her hands, scaly and brown, her fingers like long clawed spindles, completely unhuman. "I looked at myself, my hands…" she turned her palms out, then in again, then looked down at her legs, "my feet… and I tried to scream but my voice… it was so hoarse, I kinda hissed instead?" She said it like a question, in her struggle to describe it thoroughly. She shook her head. "I was afraid I'd never speak again. It took me a minute to get past the shock before I realized I must have morphed into my brother's pet somehow…" She brought her hands up to her neck and her face, then felt the barbs at her head and down to her shoulders. "I felt all this on my body," she brought her hands to her shirt and tugged at it a bit, "and somehow these managed to survive the change… I tried so hard not to freak out completely, not to go into full panic mode… I had to run, but I didn't know where to go. So, I jumped down into the sewer." She looked up at the two turtles. "Apparently that wasn't a very original idea."

Raph and Donnie smiled at her, but April shook her head, true remorse and compassion etched in her face. "I am so sorry you went through that…"

Donnie nodded, his face becoming solemn again. "That was quite awhile ago, when the mutagen fell…"

That got Autumn's attention. "You remember?" she asked eagerly, her eyes lit up. It was the most animation they'd heard in her voice since they met her.

Raphael and Donatello looked uncomfortable, and April looked down at her knees, knowing the brothers' guilt over that incident. She shifted the subject away from that thought. "My dad morphed into a mutant bat that night…" she said softly.

"Oh my god," Autumn responded, feeling choked at April's words. "I'm so sorry…"

Donnie cleared his throat. He certainly didn't want to relive that night. He thought he'd lost April forever because of it. Raph was feeling a sense of excitement about how much Autumn had opened up, and about finally getting to know her better.

"It's okay," April replied with a smile, and Autumn looked confused. How the hell can your father turning into a mutant bat be okay? She saw April reach to her side to squeeze Donnie's arm, and looked lovingly at him. "My genius boyfriend here created a retro-mutagen. Dad's human again."

Autumn bolted upright, completely ignoring the searing pain it caused her leg. She stared at Donnie, her eyes blazing, fists clenched tight to the edge of the cot. "Excuse me?" she demanded, her voice frighteningly even.

Donnie didn't flinch. "I was about to get to that…" he said. "I can turn you human again."

For the first time, the tough lizard cracked. Her eyes welled up, shining with a mix of excitement and joy and relief and maybe even terror, hell she didn't know, she didn't have a clue what to think or expect, her mind was reeling with the news and still heavy with the emotion of everything she had just recently been through and having to tell the story of what happened over a year ago… she fell back onto the cot and covered her face with her hands, and a strangled sob finally choked out of her. Raphael's breath hitched in his throat, unsure of what to do with her, unable to handle this kind of emotion very well. Without hesitation, April knelt on the floor and leaned forward to pull Autumn up into a hug, and the lizard shifted herself and buried her face into the human's neck and let herself cry. April met Donnie's eyes and smiled at him, and he returned the smile. April never ceased to amaze him. She glanced over at Raphael, who looked uncomfortable and nervous, fidgeting with the edge of the cot as he sat next to it on the floor.

Finally Autumn let go, and wiped her eyes as she composed herself. "I'm sorry," she said with a sniff.

"Don't be," April replied gently.

Autumn shook her head. "I've been so alone, so isolated, for so long… I've lost all hope at having a normal life again… and then you guys show up, and I think, maybe I can live like this after all, if I have friends who understand… and then you tell me I can be human again?" She looked up at the ceiling, as if to praise whatever god was watching over her at that moment. She returned her gaze to Donnie, so much joy and hope filled her shining eyes.

She looked so alive, Raphael noticed. He hadn't said anything the whole time, as he processed it all. She could be human again. Which would certainly mean she'd leave. Why stay here in the sewers with a group of freaks like them? And that meant he couldn't allow himself to get too attached… though he already could feel the woman stealing his heart, could feel it happen from the moment he first saw her.

Silence fell in the room. Autumn didn't know what else to say, she just beamed at the three of them, filled with her newfound hope. Donnie felt the pressure of needing to get started on the retro-mutagen. He'd have to retrieve the file, first – it had been so long since he made it. He stood up, clapping his hands on his thighs and said, "Well, I better get started then, I hate to say it but retro-mutagen takes about a month to complete, it's a very involved process." He gave Autumn an apologetic look, but she shook her head.

"I've been like this a year. What's another month? Besides, I think it'll turn out to be the best month I've ever spent as a lizard. I won't be alone…" She smiled at April, feeling the strongest connection to the girl she distrusted just moments ago. It was amazing how quickly things could change. April returned her smile, and stood up to help Donnie, but then thought better of it.

"Autumn, I assume you'd like to live with us while Donnie finishes the retro-mutagen?" she offered. "I mean, I guess it's not my place, but I'm assuming she's welcome?" She looked to Raph for confirmation.

His eyes met April's, and she thought she detected a note of fear in them, or apprehension. She wasn't sure. Quickly he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, o-of course she can stay here," he croaked, after not having spoken for so long. He cleared his throat and added, "I'm sure it'll be fine with Master Splinter too, but we better inform him."

"Who's that?" Autumn asked curiously, looking up at April from her cot.

April smiled and said, "He's the turtles' father, and our sensei." Seeing Autumn's confused expression, April added, "There's so much to fill you in on. Raph?" she turned to face him, breaking him from is inward thoughts, "Would you mind helping me move Autumn to my room? On the days I sleep here I'll just stay with Donnie while she's living with us," (Donnie let out a surprised squeak, which caused April to suppress a giggle) "I'm sure she'd feel more comfortable in an actual bed rather than on this cot." Autumn smiled at her gratefully, and Raphael nodded in agreement.

He turned to Autumn and asked, "You think you can walk? If I help you, anyway?"

Autumn's heart skipped a beat at the thought of his strong hands holding her to support her, and getting to place her own hands and arms on his firm muscles… She tried to divert her attention to her situation. She was already seated on the cot, so she carefully moved her legs to the side and placed her feet on the floor. She took a deep breath and let it out. "I kinda feel dizzy."

"You're most likely still recovering from all that blood loss," Donnie explained from his desk, not breaking his focus from his vials and beakers. April looked around the lab until she spotted an old set of crutches they had salvaged long ago. After a few adjustments, she offered them to Autumn, who reluctantly took them.

Autumn struggled to her feet, relying heavily on the crutches and the support of her tail pushing her up behind her. She tried not to let the pain show too much on her face.

"Here, lemme help ya," Raph offered, stooping to wrap his arm around the lizard's waist, taking a crutch from her so she could use him for support instead. She jumped at his touch, and hoped he didn't notice. She felt so childish! She tentatively wrapped her arm around his shell, her fingers gripping the edge of his carapace. What a strange situation she was in. She considered the sight of them, a mutant turtle and a mutant lizard, down in the sewers of New York City, with three other mutant turtles, a human, and apparently their sensei, and god knows what else. She shook her head at the audacity of it, smiling slightly. Her smile quickly turned to a grimace as she attempted to take a step, supported by Raph's sturdy frame. He held a steady grip around her waist, and she regained her balance.

"This isn't so bad…" Autumn admitted once she was steady, feeling the pain lessen as she got used to being on her feet more.

"Great," Raph replied. "Let's get you to April's room then."

After a long trek from the lab to April's room, they carefully got Autumn situated temporarily on a chair. She took in her surroundings, and April spoke, "It's not much, I have my own dorm, but when I do stay here it's nice to have my own space."

Autumn nodded. "I don't want to put you out…"

"Oh, no," April reassured her as she began gathering her sheets off the mattress. "Since Donnie and I have started seeing each other, I pretty much spend most of my time with him anyway. Besides, my classes have been pretty demanding, so I'm at my dorm most of the time." Her expression declared that she wasn't all that thrilled about her school load. "Anyway," she continued, the sheets wadded in her arms. "I'll just get these freshened up for you, then you can get some sleep." She then looked to Raph and added, "I'm going to help Donnie in his lab, so you can fill her in on… everything else…" She smiled at him, detecting a bit of nervousness in his eyes. _He is so smitten…_ she thought inwardly, trying not to laugh. She turned to leave with a grin on her face.

"Hey, April, wait," Autumn called, leaning forward in her chair as April stopped and turned to face the lizard again.

"Yeah?" she asked.

Autumn looked down hesitantly at her hands in her knees, then looked back up at April. "I… I'm sorry I threatened you earlier…"

April smiled warmly. "I understand why you did. I'm just glad everything is fine now. And that you opened up and found it in you to trust us. I can imagine how hard that must be."

Autumn averted her eyes again, her heart feeling heavy yet buoyant all at the same time. "Thanks," she said quietly.

April smiled at their new friend, and offered Raphael an encouraging smile as well, then turned one last time to leave the room.

An awkward silence fell around them once April was gone. Raph wasn't sure what to offer, or what to do at all, as Autumn sat uncomfortably in the chair looking around April's small room. He tried not to make it obvious that he was staring at her, but she was so pretty… Being what he was, he didn't see an animal in front of him. Her bright eyes, her hourglass frame that was so feminine yet so muscular and strong at the same time, she was beautiful. He and his brothers could appreciate beauty in any species, and until April admitted her feelings for his brother, he resorted to believing that no human would ever feel the same way towards them, to be able to look past species and just see the soul, the spirit, and find the beauty there.

Autumn noticed several framed pictures on a shelf, mostly of April with the four mutants, but quite a few of just April and Donnie.

 _How strange…_ she couldn't help but think. It was an innocent curiosity, no judgment attached. She wanted so much to learn more about these mutants. How long had they been living down here? Did they mutate the same time she did? When that stuff fell from the sky? What were they like before? Where did they go to school? Did their friends miss them?

And April and Donnie… were they together before Donnie mutated? And she accepted him for what happened and she stayed with him? Or, maybe April just met them by accident… like Autumn did… maybe April is just into that sort of thing…

Autumn's brows knit together as she processed it all. Finally she spoke. "So, uh… April and Donnie…?"

Raph followed Autumn's gaze to the pictures on April's shelf. "Yeah…" he replied with a shrug. "Seems to work… Never thought any of us would ever get to experience that… Donnie's been head over heels for her ever since we met her. I just thought he was wasting his time, but… apparently I was wrong."

She studied Raph's expression, his stature. Was he sad? Jealous? Disappointed? "Are you okay with that whole… thing?" she asked, not entirely sure what she meant by "thing" and hoping he wouldn't ask her to elaborate.

He chuckled. "Trust me, I am thrilled for my brother. I have to give him shit constantly, but he deserves happiness. He really does." Raph's expression grew solemn. "But, I worry about him too…" He turned his head to meet Autumn's eyes. "I mean, how long can she stick with him? They'll never get to date openly, never get to get married, I mean, nothing permanent or lasting can come of it…" His voice trailed off.

Autumn felt more questions arise. But wait, can't Donnie change mutants back? Why didn't he use his retro-mutagen on himself and his brothers? She was about to ask when they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Leo poked his head in. "Mind if I come in?" he asked.

Raph shrugged and said, "Sure."

Leo stepped inside and looked Autumn over. "Nice to see you're up, looks like you're doing pretty good." He extended a large, green, taped-up palm to her. "I'm Leo. Sorry I wasn't here when you woke up."

She tentatively shook his hand with her small palm and long spindly clawed fingers. She met his eyes with hesitation, still feeling on edge about meeting new people, even though technically she'd encountered him already before. "Autumn," she replied.

Leo smiled. "Donnie filled us in on everything," he explained. "I'm really glad you're staying with us. Sounds like you've been through hell and could use some friends." He hoped he wasn't being too bold as Autumn looked down at her knees.

"Thanks," she muttered. Leo could tell enough that she was genuine.

"We've got so many questions for you…" He looked over at Raph. "But, April is on her way back with pizza…" He looked back down at Autumn. "I'm sure you're hungry, come on out and join us." He said it more like a requirement than an offer, knowing she may try to argue with him.

She didn't. Instead she looked up at him graciously and nodded. "Sounds good," she replied.

Leo smiled at the two, said, "Great, see you in a few," and stepped back out through the door.

Raph looked down at Autumn and handed her the crutches. "Want me to help you up?" he offered hesitantly.

As much as she yearned for his touch on her waist again, Autumn shook her head. "No, I got this," she stated, overly confident. She pressed herself up more easily than she did when she stood up from the cot, and both of them felt pleased with her progress, until she suddenly stumbled from a sharp, surprising pain that shot through her leg when she tried to take her first step. Raphael was instantly there to catch her as she fell against his plastron, one of her crutches clattering to the floor. She pressed against him and looked up, meeting his green eyes, wide with shock. His heart was flipping in his chest as he tried to keep his cool.

Little did he know she was struggling with the same affliction. The pain in her leg had subsided once more into a mild, dull throb, but she felt frozen against him, unable to move, unable to avert her eyes from his deep emeralds. That feeling came back… that same feeling she felt when he carried her down into the sewers. Safety, and warmth, and protection… and… something else. Her whole body felt warm, his eyes taking her somewhere far away. Those eyes… she never really looked into them like that before… there was a sense of mystery in them… and yet… what else was she picking up on? Nervousness? She sensed an internal battle going on within him. Could it be… was he feeling the same things?

Fear suddenly consumed her just before she shot a wall up around her. She wasn't ready for this. She had been through too much – it had been way too long since she'd had any sort of pleasant contact with anyone. She couldn't handle the unknown of romantic feelings. Not right now, anyway. She needed time to process how exactly she wanted to handle this. She dropped her gaze and pressed herself away from him, trying to stand on her own again. "So. I'm hungry," she stated, hobbling toward the door on her crutch, ignoring the one that fell to the floor.

Raph stooped to pick it up and attempted to offer it to her. "You need this?" he asked hesitantly.

"I said I got this," she snapped, already at the door and limping her way into the hallway, ignoring the constriction in her chest.

Raph swallowed hard. _What the hell?_ He stood stunned as he watched her leave. So much confusion. What just happened there? What was that look in her eyes? And what was this feeling he had in himself? She was so gorgeous, and those violet-brown eyes were so captivating…

 _Ugh, what's happening…_ he thought to himself. He tried to shake his head back to reality. Pretending as though nothing had happened, he followed her out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N I'm back! I was gone for a week taking a class, so had to focus on business and all that real-life stuff. I did manage to write a bit more about Autumn's adventure on my flight back home though, even though I probably should have been reviewing everything I learned during my intensive clinical retreat... Oh well, I can't help it. I just have too much fun writing! So Autumn is letting her guard down and warming up to this new family, we learn a little more about her and she learns a little more about them, and the feelings going on in Raph and Autumn, well they'll just have to figure that out on their own. Thanks for the reviews and follows so far, guys, it means a lot! Enjoy!**

Chapter 5

Family and Friendship

The other three turtles were gathered in the kitchen as April and Autumn entered at the same time, April carrying three boxes of pizza, and Autumn moving smoothly with her one crutch, careful with her bandaged leg and braced ankle.

"Thank goodness for 24-hour pizzarias!" April exclaimed as joined the others.

Donnie smiled at his girlfriend, then took in Autumn's stance with approval. "You look like you're healing well," he remarked happily.

Autumn shrugged as though it were nothing. "It's not that bad."

Donnie didn't believe her, but didn't argue either. He and Mikey helped April with the pizza.

"So, I'm _totally_ bummed that you have a real name," Mikey stated sadly. "Dragon Warrior Princess was _way_ cooler than Autumn. But Autumn is a nice name too," he added as an afterthought.

Autumn couldn't help but chuckle. "I'd be fine if you still called me Dragon Warrior Princess," she replied, and Mikey's face lit up. Raph entered the room behind her, acting as though he were only interested in the pizza, and not saying a word. She chose to ignore him and looked around. "So where's this sensei of yours?" she asked.

"Master Splinter wanted to take a quick meditation first," Leo explained. "I filled him in on your joining us."

Autumn felt a pang of nervousness, suddenly feeling like an intruder. "I don't have to stay…" she began quietly.

"No, no! It's not like that!" Leo quickly responded, waving his hand.

"You _have_ to stay!" Mikey whined. "I mean, we're already the coolest team _ever_ , but we'll be the coolest team _ever_ ever if we have a Dragon Warrior Princess with us!" He punched a fist into the air. "Eat _that_ , Mighty Mutanimals!"

Autumn decided not to ask for clarification. The rest of them chuckled at the youngest turtle, appreciating that they could always rely on him to lighten the mood.

All of Autumn's questions began resurfacing as she watched the group begin to dig into the pizza. Four mutant turtles. In a sewer. One of them is dating a human. And they have a sensei. And now they have a new mutant lizard ward. Or friend. She wasn't sure what she wanted to consider herself yet, still feeling apprehensive about getting too close. Even though she knew she wanted to.

She took a seat on a stool, her long tail snaking down to the floor behind her, and reached for a slice of pizza. "So," she began. "How come nobody has ever heard of you guys before?"

"Uh, ninjas," Mikey answered with a _duh_ undertone, pressing a thumb to his plastron and stuffing his face with pizza as a pepperoni fell to the table underneath his greasy chin.

"Right," Autumn replied with an surrendering nod. "So… were you always ninjas?"

"Born and raised," Leo responded proudly.

Autumn nodded again. "Right, 'cause your dad's your sensei. With a love for art." She tried to decide on which questions to ask next. "So, are you guys, like, Japanese? Or Italian? Or something?" She took a bite of her pizza, eyeing the brothers curiously. She suddenly realized she'd have to work a little harder to focus on the conversation as the flavors burst in her mouth. God it had been so long since she'd tasted something like this… It's a good thing she decided to ask them more simple questions first.

"Master Splinter is Japanese," Donnie answered.

Autumn looked confused as she chewed, then swallowed. "And you guys… aren't?" she asked.

Raphael finally decided to talk, not wanting to be interrogated about his uncharacteristic silence. "Well, _no_ ," he said, trying not to sound like she asked a stupid question.

"So, you were adopted then?" she asked, not missing the tone in Raph's voice but choosing to not pick a fight. She took another bite of her pizza, steadying herself so as not to inhale the whole slice.

Leo gave a bit of a shrug and looked around at his brothers. "Pretty much," he answered.

Autumn chewed and considered her next question. "So, like, what high school did you guys go to?" she asked, and all five of them seemed to stiffen, each one processing her words in their heads. She noticed the sudden change in the air and awkwardly continued, "You know, like before you got mutated…?"

A silence hung over them, and Autumn wasn't exactly sure what happened or what changed, but she tried to wait patiently for an answer.

" _Dude!_ " Mikey burst out with a laugh, the first to finally break the silence. "We never went to school!"

"Yeah, we were mutated when we were babies," Donnie added seriously, realizing how confused Autumn must be. Her expression only grew more lost. Babies? This mutagen stuff has been around longer than when it fell from the sky that night around a year ago? Before she could fall into any deeper confusion, the brothers took turns clarifying everything for her.

"We're not human," Leo said softly.

"Well, obviously—" Autumn was cut off.

"We never were," Raphael finished.

Her eyes grew wide as her brows raised in shock, all her assumptions blown out of the water. She sat back on her stool and stared at them all.

"We're actual turtles," Raph added, and grabbed a slice of pizza for himself with a three-fingered, green hand.

"Master Splinter was once human – Hamato Yoshi was his name," Donnie explained.

Mikey chimed in, "He got us from a pet store, and we all got hit by the mutagen!" He waved his hands as he told his story.

"If the mutagen touches you, your mutation is based on whatever you last came in contact with," Donnie continued as Autumn stared at them all in silence. He pressed on, "Which is why you took on the form of a bearded dragon." He then gestured to himself and his brothers. "We were last in contact with a human. Which is why we're kinda… human… more or less," he added with a shrug, then took a bite.

Autumn nodded slowly, taking it all in. "So… then… your sensei must also be a mutant turtle… right?" she figured.

They all exchanged looks, and Leo responded, "Well, you would think. But it wasn't us turtles he last came in contact with. It was—"

With impeccable timing, he was interrupted by a kind, yet authoritative male voice. "I understand we have a new guest."

They all turned to greet Splinter, and Autumn gasped at the sight of him. "A _rat?_ " she exclaimed, unintentionally finishing Leo's sentence.

Splinter smiled, unoffended. "Nice to finally meet you, Autumn, my sons have told me about you. I am happy to welcome you into our home." He gestured with open palms to the lair around them.

Autumn let out a breath. "This is a lot to take in…" she said quietly, shaking her head and staring at her pizza.

"It gets better," Raphael chimed in, heading toward the freezer with a cup in hand. "Mikey has a pet made out of ice cream."

Autumn's face twisted into a mix of confusion and disgust as she watched him open the freezer door.

"Ice cream kitty!" Mikey cried affectionately, a dopey smile on his face. Raph shook his head as the cat meowed at him while he filled his cup with ice and shut the door.

"This is officially, totally fucked up," Autumn stated with finality, and returned to eating her pizza, her brain so much on overload that she decided to just shut down the processors and enjoy her food.

April laughed. "You have no idea," she agreed.

They ate their pizza in silence for a few moments, all seeming to understand Autumn needed time for the wheels to slow down in her brain. Finally, Leo spoke. "So, I can't help but wonder, are the Foot Clan after you or something?"

Autumn stiffened slightly, stopping mid-chew. Her brows knit together, then she finally spoke. "Sort of."

Leo looked at her curiously. "What do you mean, 'sort of'?"

Autumn shrugged, inspecting a pepperoni. "They're not necessarily after me… But it seems to me that, beings that I've got the… skill… that I have, plus I'm a freak of nature, I'd probably make a good asset to their team. I had a run-in with them a few weeks after I changed." She looked down solemnly. "I almost considered joining them, I was so starved for human contact and desperate for companionship, I'd take it in any form." She looked up at them. "So I humored them for a bit, to kind of feel out what it was all about. Realized there were other mutants involved, and there was some vendetta that wasn't very clear to me, and I got kind of uncomfortable with the whole thing. So I left."

"You just… _left?_ " Leo asked incredulously.

"Like, waltzed right outta there?" Mikey added, his eyebrows raised, then finished with a salute, "'It's been real, yo, catch ya on the flip side!'"

Autumn chuckled. "No. I left a little more stealthily than that." The family stared at her in disbelief. She was definitely skilled. She gave a small shrug. "So I know too much, and now they're after me. For blood I guess."

"You never learned anything about the… uh… vendetta?" Leo asked curiously.

Autumn shook her head. "No. They didn't seem to want to fill me in just yet." She looked up to meet his eyes. "Why? Do _you_ know what it's all about?"

Leo swallowed hard. He felt he wanted to save that story for a different time.

"We've been involved in Foot Clan rivalry for some time," Splinter offered.

"Whoa," Autumn said, her voice rising slightly as she leaned back from the table. "If you and the Foot have something against each other, I'm not so sure I want to hang around down here… I'm sick of running from them! And here I can risk you guys leading them right to me? Uh uh. No."

"Nobody's getting down here," Donnie reassured her, his tone even. "I've got security systems set up around here that can put government facilities to shame. We're safe." He met her eyes, then finished, " _You're_ safe."

Autumn sighed, picking at her pizza crust on her plate. She just didn't know. Didn't know what to think, how to feel, where to go… Here she had friendship, safety, food and a warm bed… more than she'd ever had in such a long time. "I guess I don't have much choice but to trust you…" she said quietly.

Mikey draped an arm around her shoulders, smiling widely. "Of _course_ you can trust us. We have pizza!" And he reached for another slice and raised it as if to say "Cheers!", smiling at her again before taking a huge bite.

Autumn just grinned and shook her head, surrendering once more. "You make a good point," she said, defeated yet amused, and reached for another slice herself.

Once they had finished eating, April remade her bed with the freshly cleaned sheets, and they all agreed to check in for the night. April followed a very giddy Donnie back to his room, and Autumn refused any assistance back to April's room. She insisted on being alone, having had enough interaction for one day, after a whole year of hardly any at all. It was overwhelming. She lied down on April's mattress and drifted into the best sleep she had gotten in over a year, finally in a real bed, wrapped in real sheets, no need to fear anything attacking her in her vulnerable state.

A week went by, and Autumn healed well, spending most of her time resting in the common room, getting much more than her desired fill of _Crognard the Barbarian_ with Mikey, but also enjoying getting to know the turtles' stories, and developing her friendship with April, which she had come to treasure, despite her guarded feelings and hesitation towards getting too close to group.

One morning she awoke feeling more refreshed than she had in awhile. She examined her leg, a thin red line was all that remained from the gash that had been stitched shut and bandaged only a week ago. She rotated her ankle several circles to the left, then to the right, feeling pleased with its flexibility and lack of pain after the sprain it had endured. She was so eager to use her body like normal again, to push her limits and work up a sweat. She had been going stir crazy being laid up like she was, and so envious every time she watched the brothers and April train with Splinter in the dojo, wanting so badly to join them. She got up out of bed, planting her feet firmly on the floor and reaching up in a reviving stretch. Today she was going to join them. She was done waiting.

The brothers were already nearly finished with their training session in the dojo. She heard the sparring, and made her way towards the sound, no signs of limping or struggle in her formerly injured leg.

She stood in the doorway of the dojo and watched as Raphael and Leonardo sparred intensely, sweat dripping from their faces and weapons swinging, the only sounds being grunting and clanging of metal, accompanied by an occasional yell. She felt a sense of excitement grow in her, a bounce building in her feet, wanting so badly to join them, to finally spar for fun instead of using her talent in combat or self-defense.

Master Splinter was standing to the side with Donatello, Michelangelo, and April. April noticed Autumn in the doorway and a smile lit her face as she motioned for her to come join them.

Splinter called their session to an end as Autumn joined April and the turtles on the sideline. "Nice of you to join us, Autumn," Splinter greeted. "I see you're looking well," and he gestured toward her leg.

Autumn nodded. "Good as new," she replied. "I seem to heal faster than I did when I was human."

Donnie nodded with a smile. "It's part of the mutation. We're all like that."

Autumn looked longingly out at the tatami mat. Gathering up the courage, she asked, "So… would it be okay if… if I could join you guys this time?"

Splinter smiled warmly, and the other five joined in with delighted grins. "I understand you have much knowledge and capabilities in the martial arts," Splinter commented. "I am concerned about your healing being complete. You may spar with Leonardo. However," he then turned to face his son in blue, "I advise you to go easy on her. I understand she is very talented, but she is also still recovering." He then returned to speaking to Autumn. "I trust you to stay within your limits, but please do not over exert yourself."

"Hai sensei," Autumn replied with a small bow. "I really feel perfectly fine, though, I promise." She then stood fully upright with an excited grin.

It didn't take long before Autumn was clearly back in her game. She moved fluidly, with deliberation and strength. No move Leo made could get past her. She was quick and determined and hyper-aware of her surroundings, and used her tail as though it were another arm. She showed Leo no mercy, and was clearly having a blast as her eyes blazed with joy and fulfillment. This is truly where she belonged.

Raphael's heart inflated, watching the joy light up her beautiful face. Everything about her was so perfect – her caramel brown scales, the strangely feminine appearance of the spikes traveling down the sides of her head and onto her shoulders, almost looking like flowing hair. Her nostrils flared in her smooth curved snout, her violet eyes bright with determination and elation. The way her body moved so gracefully, her breasts bouncing at every move, her hips swaying, especially as her tail lashed. Her muscles rippling at each movement. How he wished he could trade places with Leo… though if he did, he wondered if he'd be able to stay focused to get an effective fight in. She'd have him pinned in seconds.

At that realization, he shifted gears. No, he couldn't let anyone have that kind of effect on him. Let his guard down completely like that? Lose focus over a pretty girl? Stupid! No matter his feelings, whatever they were, he couldn't let her have that kind of hold on him. He felt frustration rise in him. As soon as Splinter called their training session to an end, Raphael silently left the group and exited the dojo.

Autumn was confused by Raph's sudden disappearance. She felt so excited, finally, for the first time in over a year she felt _human_ again. She was overjoyed to share this experience with her new friends, but she found that more than anything she wanted to share it with him… Her face fell, wondering why he would run off like that…

The other three turtles and April were excitedly cheering for her, sharing in her joy at making such a great recovery and being such a skilled kunoichi. "Well, I gotta say, I sure as hell am glad you're on our side!" Leo exclaimed, still slightly out of breath but grinning at her nonetheless.

"No kidding, you're _amazing,_ Dragon Warrior Princess!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Where'd you learn to fight like that?" Leo asked curiously.

Autumn was staring off in the direction Raph left, but forced her eyes back to meet Leo's. "Um…" she began, collecting her thoughts, trying to focus on answering Leo's question rather than wonder why Raph suddenly left. She gave him a shrug and a half-smile. "I've always been interested in martial arts, ever since I was little." She looked around at the dojo, letting herself float back to the memory, finding comfort in it and allowing her concern about Raphael to fade from her mind. "I guess I begged my parents enough that they finally signed me up for classes just to get me to shut up." She gave a small chuckle and shrugged her hands out to the side, then dropped them back to her sides before continuing, "Turned out I was a natural. I dunno, I guess I had some innate knowledge that I was good at it, I was so _drawn_ to it. It was kinda weird, really. But I climbed the ranks pretty quickly and ended up traveling quite a bit doing competitions. It was fun…" She smiled warmly, a faraway look in her eyes. "Some of the best memories I have…"

"You are very fortunate to have developed that skill," Splinter commented, his tone serious. "I see it proved very useful for you over the past year. Life works in very mysterious ways…"

Autumn looked down at her clawed feet on the mat. "Yeah…" she replied in a low voice. "Never thought I'd ever have to use my skill and knowledge like I have over the past year." She looked up at Splinter, sadness glossing over in her eyes. "I'd much rather be competing for fun."

Splinter nodded in understanding. "Of course. We don't know why tragedies fall upon us, but in times of tragedy, it is best to be grateful for the ability to get through them, no matter what form those abilities may take."

Autumn studied Master Splinter for a moment, contemplating his remark. Yes, she was certainly fortunate she had such a strong ability to defend herself. But it was hard to focus on that small positive aspect when the unfortunate turn of events of standing in the wrong place at the wrong time when that canister fell kind of overpowered everything. But maybe everything did happen for a reason? Could there really be a reason all this happened? Her life as a lizard? The Foot Clan after her? Meeting this strange family? Meeting Raphael?

Autumn forced a smile, meeting Splinter's wise eyes. Her thoughts had returned to Raph and his sudden disappearance, mixed in with her brain on overdrive from Splinter's words. "Hey, um, my leg is actually starting to feel a little… funny… I think I might go and rest it."

Donnie sighed heavily. "Yes, I was afraid you'd overdo it, you need to elevate it, I can get you some ice if you need," he rambled, but Autumn raised her hand to slow him down.

"It's fine, really, it's not that bad," she assured him. "I'd like some time to myself, if that's okay." She turned to Leo and gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. "Thanks for that, it was awesome," she said with a genuine smile. "It felt great to fight for fun, rather than life-or-death shit, ya know?" Leo answered her with an understanding smile. She then turned and left without another word.

Once she was gone, April spoke. "I don't think her leg was really bothering her…"

"I kind of thought the same thing," Leo agreed.

April closed her eyes, suddenly seeming deep in thought. "I think she went up top."

"But it's still daylight!" Donnie exclaimed.

April laughed, meeting his eyes. "Don't forget she's been living alone for a year, I'm sure she knows the ropes on how to not be seen in the daylight." She looked up, then returned her gaze to the turtles. "I think I might go talk to her," she stated softly. They nodded in hesitant agreement, and she excused herself from the dojo.

It was silently vacant on the rooftop when she ascended the fire escape and stepped onto the concrete structure, the only sounds coming from the hustle and bustle of city life down below. She could feel Autumn's presence… she had to be around here somewhere… but if she allowed herself to completely detach from that psychic connection, she'd believe she were completely alone up there. She looked around, her brows knit in frustrated confusion, trying to figure out where she could have disappeared to, when suddenly she heard a sigh from the antenna tower, and she looked up.

"It's only you," Autumn said with relief. April stared in amazement at how she somehow blended so perfectly into the structure she clung to, and in broad daylight on top of it. Once April realized what she was looking at, she saw Autumn's form and stared in wonder at how she lost all human appearance – she was completely, unquestionably, a lizard. A gigantic, mutant, lizard. She snaked her way down the tower, skillfully gripping each bar and rod and she made her way down headfirst, her slender tail like a long ribbon poised behind her, swaying in balance, until she reached the ground and stood up on her hind legs, regaining her human appearance once more.

April just gaped at her in awe. "Wow…" she breathed, before she realized she was even going to say it out loud.

Autumn gave her a curious side glance as she turned to sit at the edge of the building and stare out into the city. "What?" she retorted, looking uncomfortable as she gripped the ledge she sat on, her shoulders high near her jaws and her tail swaying back and forth behind her.

"Sorry," April quickly apologized as she sat down next to the lizard. "It's just, this mutagen thing never ceases to amaze me… it's produced some pretty hideous creatures, and then it's produced outcomes like you…" She gave Autumn a hopeful look, worried that she might take offense to her words. "Just magnificent…" she added.

Autumn scoffed. "I wouldn't call this magnificent," she grumbled.

"But you are," April replied. "So are the turtles…" she added, her voice soft. Autumn shifted on her seat but didn't say anything. Did she want to say something? Was April overstepping her bounds? She decided to just change the subject. She gestured toward Autumn's leg. "I see it doesn't seem to be bothering you anymore," she commented.

Autumn looked down at her leg, which didn't look any different than it had when she got out of bed. She swung her leg out, then in, and shrugged. "It's fine," she said simply, then returned her gaze to the bustling city street below.

They sat in silence for a moment, until finally Autumn decided against her better judgment to go ahead and speak. "So… you and Donnie…" April perked up and turned her head toward Autumn, listening intently. "That works, huh?"

April smiled. "I know it's weird… but yeah," she nodded. "It works."

"Like… everything?" Autumn asked, turning her brown, spiky head to face April, a brow ridge elevated in curiosity.

April chuckled, understanding what Autumn was insinuating. "We haven't made it _that_ far yet," she replied. "This is still pretty new."

"Oh," Autumn replied, looking back at the city. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy or anything…"

"It's okay," April answered, swinging her legs as she dangled them over the edge. Autumn wasn't saying anything more, though April sensed she wanted to. Should she say something about Raph? No… she didn't feel it was her place to get into that. Autumn would have to bring that up on her own… She decided to go ahead and talk about her relationship with Donnie. "I know we're not even the same species and everything…" she began, "but, I've spent so much time with them that I honestly don't even see that anymore. All four of them… they just look… _normal_ to me." She chuckled at herself. "I know that sounds super weird… but, when I look at Donnie, and his bright eyes and the gap in his teeth… the smile that lights up his face…" her eyes went faraway as she continued, "his stature, his muscles, his confidence, not to mention his kindness, generosity, dedication and determination… I just… _want_ him…" She laughed at how crazy she sounded. "He's a fucking turtle, and I _want_ him. He's just… hot to me… and adorable at the same time…"

Autumn couldn't help but smile. "I know what you mean…" she said, almost inaudibly.

April's heart leaped as she turned her head to look at her again. "You do?" she asked, feeling hopeful about the conversation going a bit deeper, but not wanting to push Autumn too far.

Autumn shifted uncomfortably, having an internal debate as to whether to proceed or not. _Eh, what have I got to lose?_ She thought, her heart beating a little harder. "I kinda think I might feel that way about Raph…" she replied hesitantly, not making eye contact with April, her feet fidgeting as they hung over the ledge.

April grinned. _Yes_ , she thought victoriously. "Oh yeah?" she responded.

Autumn rolled her eyes and looked up at the sky. "It's stupid," she muttered.

"No it's not, Raph is a cool guy," April insisted. "He's got a bit of a temper… but he's got an even bigger heart."

Autumn watched her hand as she picked at the concrete ledge. "Yeah, I can see that," she replied, but April could tell more was in her head.

"But…?" she pressed, cocking her head to the side, trying not to sound too prying.

Autumn sighed. "But I just don't really know what I'm feeling… Am I drawn to him simply because he saved me?" She finally turned to make eye contact with April, her violet eyes laced with confusion and uncertainty. "I felt so… safe… in his arms when he carried me down to the lair. I don't know how to describe it…" she shook her head and looked down at her knees. April continued to listen, leaning forward but remaining silent. Autumn continued with another sigh, "And then I wonder, have I been so desperate for companionship all this time that I'll just jump at whatever interesting thing comes my way? Or… since I'm a mutant lizard freak, maybe I've just mentally given up on ever having any human companionship, so I've resorted to taking interest in another mutant freak?"

"They're not freaks…" April defended gently, twisting her lips to the side.

Autumn shook her head. "Sorry. I know. I consider myself a freak and I guess I just lump us all together. It's just not _normal_." She finally dropped her shoulders as she rested her elbows in her lap, gazing out over the city. "Anyway. I just can't figure it out. I don't know if what I feel for him is genuine, or just a product of my fucked up situation…"

April followed her gaze out over the city and thought for a moment, considering Autumn's words and her situation. "I don't know, Autumn," she finally spoke. "I can see where you're coming from." She turned her head to meet Autumn's eyes. "But maybe you're overthinking it?" Autumn's brows knit together in thought. "Why don't you just see how it all plays out?" April suggested.

Autumn mulled over her words silently, picking absently at her clawed hands that rested in her brown scaly lap. She then shook her head with a sigh. "If Donnie can make that retro-mutagen, then I'm going to be human in just a few weeks anyway. Then we'll have the whole human-reptile issue…"

"Hey now," April said defensively, her eyes narrowed.

"Sorry," Autumn quickly replied, meeting April's eyes again. "I'm glad it works for you guys. But will it work for us? Would Raph even be interested in a human? Would I still be interested in a… a turtle…" she had trouble admitting that's truly what he was, "when I'm human?" she wondered out loud. She gave April a searching look, hoping she had some sort of magic answer.

But April just shrugged. "Everyone's different, Autumn. Every relationship is different."

"How did you and Donnie come to be… what you are?" Autumn asked curiously, her violet eyes meeting April's blue as her legs began swinging once again, her hands back to her sides on the ledge.

April smiled warmly. "He always had a crush on me, since the day he laid eyes on me and saved me from a Kraang attack…" she began quietly, and this time it was Autumn's turn to lean in, listening intently. April continued, "And once I got to know them, I couldn't help but think he was cute… and couldn't help but enjoy how he made me feel so special, and loved, and safe. We have a lot in common, and I spent a lot of time with him in his lab. And I know he wanted something more with me, but with the Kraang invasion happening, and the pressure of everything we were going through and the uncertainty of it all and the emotions we all were feeling, and on top of that our friend Casey had his own stupid crush on me too which made me fear that actually making things 'official' with Donnie would put a rift between me and Casey… and I didn't want to screw up the dynamics of our group… There was just too much at stake. I just kept my feelings to myself…" she paused as the memory of the day after the incident with Bigfoot came to mind, when she was chopping firewood outside the farmhouse in Northampton… "more or less," she added with a smile. "Anyway," she continued, looking out into the sky, "the whole Kraang invasion was just so crazy… I spent most of my time with Master Splinter while the turtles were in Dimension X… I was so afraid I'd never see them again, and when we won, and we got our city back, and I was reunited with my dad… I just had this feeling… that I just needed to go for it. Being that close to the edge of my life, having no idea if I'd make it, or if my friends would make it… I realized I regretted not at least letting Donnie know how I felt." April looked deeply into Autumn's eyes, a very serious expression on her face. "You gotta live life in the moment, ya know? Don't hold back, don't give into fear, just follow your heart and do what makes you happy. You just never know if you'll get that chance again."

They stared into each other's eyes, April hoping Autumn fully grasped all of her words, and Autumn considering them, applying what April said to how she feels about Raph.

But that's just it… she didn't know how she felt about Raph. Was her mind just playing tricks on her? And what if he liked her? Was it just because she was a mutant, and he had someone like him? Would he still like her as a human?

She looked away from April, shaking her head. She was getting ahead of herself. She didn't even know if Raph even had any interest in her whatsoever. But then why did he suddenly leave the dojo earlier?

Suddenly, April clapped her hands against her knees and broke the silence. "Well," she declared, "I should head back down to the lair. I've got a class later on and I told Donnie I'd hang out with him for a bit before I have to go."

Autumn nodded. "That's fine, I'll probably head down soon too. Gotta clear my head a bit first though."

April nodded in understanding, then stood up and turned to go, but stopped to place a hand on Autumn's scaly, barbed shoulder. She sensed Autumn tense at her touch. "It was good talking to you, Autumn," April said, and she felt Autumn relax a little. "I don't have many friends, just the turtles, and now Casey is gone at college so I don't really have any close human friends at all. It's nice to have another girl to talk to… As much as I love the Hamato family, it's hard living a life in secret and nobody knows what's going on behind the scenes."

Autumn looked up at April and smiled. "I'm glad you guys found me. Even if I didn't want you to."

April returned the smile, and, with a quick squeeze to her shoulder, she turned and left Autumn alone to her thoughts. Autumn looked back out over the city once more. She appreciated April's words, and even more so appreciated her friendship. But there was something about what April said… "It's hard living a life in secret"… Autumn knew all about that. She grimaced at the thought of having spent a whole year completely isolated. Maybe it would be best to try to ignore her feelings for Raph. If she did pursue a relationship with him, she'd have to continue on living in secret for the rest of her life. Even as a human…

But… April seemed happy with that choice… Maybe she could be too?

With her guard completely down, she missed the silent arrival of several Foot ninjas behind her, and was caught off-guard when she felt the cold steel of a blade at her back. "Gotcha," she heard a malicious voice announce, and her heart dropped into her stomach as she went rigid.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Delving into some emotions as these crazy reptiles try to figure things out. Sorry this story hasn't lived up to its "M" rating yet - don't worry, it will! I just want to build up a story before diving into juicy stuff. We're getting closer though... Enjoy!**

Chapter 6

Possibility

April returned to the lair to find Raph, Leo, and Mikey hanging out in the common area, a repeat episode of _Crognard the Barbarian_ playing on the TV. Mikey was lying prone on a beanbag, way too close to the TV screen, but Leo and Raph were each individually enthralled in magazines on separate ends of the couch. Leo was the first to notice April enter through the old turnstiles.

"Hey, how did everything go?" Leo asked her, putting his magazine down, a genuinely concerned look on his face. Raph quickly peered up over his magazine, trying not to look too interested, but wanting to know every detail nonetheless.

April gave a bit of a shrug. "We had a good talk. I think she's still warming up to the idea of having friends, especially considering…" she paused to gather her words, "the state she's in," she finally decided on. "And how this past year has gone for her. She just needed some time to think about her feelings." At that last sentence, her eyes met Raph's, and he tried to look unaffected, even though his body went stiff. Why was she looking at him? Or did he just imagine that? Feelings? What feelings? He buried himself back in his motorcycle magazine, pretending not to be interested.

April knew better, and she smiled. "She said she'll be back down later," April finished. "I guess Donnie's in his lab?" she pointed her thumb in the direction of Donnie's quarters.

Leo nodded. "Yep, waiting for you I'm sure. Haven't heard any explosions so I'd say his retro-mutagen is probably coming along smoothly."

April chuckled. "Alright, well, I'll be in there. Catch you guys later." She turned to head toward the lab, but was stopped as Donnie came racing out to the common room, looking frantic.

"Guys!" he shouted. "My sensors went off, there's Foot ninjas at twelve o'clock!" His eyes looked panicked, and Leo, Raph, and Mikey jumped from their positions in the sitting area and rushed to join him, along with April, to the entrance without further question.

All except for Mikey, who shouted as he ran behind them, "But it's quarter after two!"

"Mikey!" they simultaneously groaned as they ran through the tunnels, their voices echoing into the endless darkness.

Autumn's heart raced as she contemplated her next move, trying to ignore how pissed off she was that they managed to find her again, all while trying not to make any sudden moves with the blade still held to her back. She could hear their footsteps as more came closer to her. She had to move now or they'd have her. She was surprised they didn't have her already. She looked down at the bustling street below. She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, and prayed nobody would happen to look up as she slid off the edge of the building.

"Don't let her get away!" one of the ninjas shouted as she fell fast down the rough brick, turning her body and latching her claws into the rough surface several feet down from the ledge. She clung to the building, trying not to move, trying harder not to panic at the thought of her precarious position that high off the ground with nothing between her and the unforgiving pavement to catch her if she happened to lose her grip, and in broad daylight on top of it. She looked up in time to see one of the ninjas peering over the ledge at her, then suddenly retract. She furrowed her brow ridges. Why weren't they coming after her?

The wind rushed in her ears as it blew past her body, preventing her from clearly hearing what might be going on up on the roof. She finally decided to get herself out of anyone's line of vision from the street below and carefully climb her way back up to investigate the situation, fully expecting them to be waiting for her. She drew her tail up, her only free limb and possible saving grace from her attackers.

Her claws latched onto the building ledge, her muscles engaging as she hoisted herself slowly up just enough to peer over the edge. "Holy shit!" she couldn't help but gasp as she took in the sight of the four turtles and April in full-on combat with the Foot ninjas. She watched as Donnie skillfully connected his bo staff into the abdomen of one of the ninjas, sending him flying into the antenna tower behind them, his back connecting with the metal with a loud crack. Autumn grinned at her fortunate turn of events, gripped the stone ledge tighter, and kicked herself off the building into a forward flip that landed her onto the roof, just in time for her to wrap her tail around the neck of the nearest Foot member. Before he could wield his weapon at her, she slammed his head into his partner's face with a sickening crunch, and they both landed in an unconscious heap on the ground. Quickly outnumbered, the two remaining Foot members attempted to put up one last fight, but with a few rapid turns of Raphael's sais one was disarmed, and Mikey took the opportunity to swing his nunchucks at the last remaining distracted opponent, which connected victoriously with the side of his head, and he dropped unconscious to the ground. The remaining disarmed Foot ninja retreated without a second thought, leaving the group on the rooftop surrounded by the unconscious (and possibly dead) bodies of their attackers.

"Are you okay?" Leo asked Autumn as soon as they were safe, looking her up and down.

Her chest was heaving from the adrenaline. "Fine," she breathed, taking in the scene. She turned her gaze towards Leo. "How'd you know they were here?"

Donnie grinned. "I told you, I've got security systems that rival government facilities. Nothing gets past us!"

She smiled at him, then at the rest of the group. "Thanks, guys," she said humbly, and they returned her smile.

Leo placed his large green hand on her back. "Come on, let's get you back down to the lair. I get the feeling you need to stay out of their sight." He looked at her inquisitively, then asked, "How do they keep finding you, anyway?"

She shrugged, then replied, "I honestly don't know…" She looked up at Donnie. "Let's just say you're not the only one with high-tech equipment in this situation."

Leo's head darted in Donnie's direction. "They don't have some sort of tracking device on her, do they?" He looked panicked at the thought of having had her in the lair all the while and making it possible for the Foot to track their location.

Donnie shook his head. "No, I have detectors for tracking devices, none of them registered anything on her."

"They have eyes all around this city," Autumn commented somberly. "I've literally lived the past year constantly fearing for my life."

Raph's heart sank at her comment. "Well, that's over now," he heard himself say, and she quickly looked up to meet his eyes. She offered him a small smile, and his heart took flight, though he prevented his face from showing it.

"Come on, let's get back down to the lair before any other attacks happen," Leo directed, and they all made their way carefully down the fire escape and into the sewers.

Back in the lair again, Autumn excused herself to be alone in April's room. She lied on her back on the mattress, contemplating everything that just happened, thinking back to her conversation with April before the attack occurred. She enjoyed their conversation, as much as she struggled with admitting her feelings… or thoughts… or whatever they were towards Raphael. She hoped she could trust April's confidence. Though, if April broke it, she could just leave…

After Donnie changed her back to human, that is…

But could she really leave all of them? And Raph…?

She stared up at the cinder block ceiling. They all jumped to her rescue. Again. She couldn't leave them. Not after the friendship they'd proven to her. The unwavering love they've shown her. She could barely wrap her head around how amazing this family was, how blessed she was to have been brought into their lives, and them into hers, even if at first it was against her will. Her brows knit together as she thought about everything she'd been through. She'd been through more in just those past two days than she had this entire year. The year had hardened her, forced her to become calloused against emotion, withdrawing deeper into her scaly, harsh exterior. She had given up hope on feeling love, or connection, or true happiness again. The only joy she got out of life anymore was combat anytime she encountered the Purple Dragons or the Foot Clan. She got to do what she was good at, and she had the whole year to perfect her skill and ability, being able to use it in genuine self-defense rather than in competition, challenging her beyond anything she got to do in her classes. She missed practicing martial arts for fun, but she removed those memories from her mind too. This was her life now.

Until those turtles came along… And Raph… who carried her back to the lair where the four of them cared for her, welcoming her into their home… Accepting her regardless of what she was. Even April, a human… she was already becoming a valued friend, able to look past Autumn's disturbing appearance without hesitation.

She felt tears welling in her eyes. Was this too good to be true? Could she truly let her guard down and enjoy this for what it was? After all this time, did she finally have friendship?

Could she enjoy these last few weeks of being a monster?

 _I could if I got to spar with Raph…_ she thought, a grin spreading across her face, thinking back to what April said about just living in the moment – go for it, don't give into fear. She lost count of how many times she'd been attacked, and yet another attack happened just moments ago. Just after April shared her own story about living in the moment, never knowing when it'll be your last. What if they'd captured her? Or what if she lost her grip and fell from that building? She would have never had the chance to even explore her confusing feelings toward the turtle in red. She realized she needed to act on it. The only stable thought she could form out of the sea of confused emotions she had surging through her was that she wanted to spar with Raph. She wanted to have fun with him, both of them in a place they felt they belonged, doing what they enjoyed, just forgetting about the attacks, putting all the pain and fear and anguish aside and just having fun, losing themselves in the moment. She closed her eyes and smiled at the thought.

How would she handle sparring with Raph? Would she try to show off and overcompensate? Would she get distracted and freeze up? Ugh those muscles… he's so hot… She licked her lips. _Get a grip, Autumn_ , she thought to herself, her brows wrinkling in aggravation, fingers clenching and unclenching into fists at her sides on the comforter. A year of living as a calloused recluse and this is what happens? Some hot, muscular, mutant turtle shows up and changes everything?

And why was she shying away from him? Why did he make her so nervous, so… jittery?

And why did he leave the dojo after she sparred with Leo?

She brought her clawed hands up to her face, covering her eyes, pulling down across her snout and down her cheeks, rubbing her flesh in frustration.

"What is wrong with you, Autumn?" she asked herself out loud. "You can fight off aggressive ninjas single-handedly, but some guy comes along, a mutant turtle no less, and you freeze?"

She groaned, rubbing her face again, and resurfaced with a set expression of determination. "No," she said aloud again. "I won't let him control me like that. I'm in charge of my own life. I can do what I want."

With that, she sat herself up, hopped up off the bed and headed toward the door.

Leo and Raph were in the kitchen. Donnie had returned to his lab, where April was helping him, and Mikey had reabsorbed himself into the TV watching _Crognard_. Autumn could overhear Leo and Raph discussing their concerns for Autumn's safety. It sounded like the conversation was wrapping itself up, as Leo opened the fridge for a soda. "All we can hope is that the Foot won't have any use for her once she's human again," he said to Raph, who only grunted in reply. Leo studied him as he popped the tab on his soda can. "What?" he asked, in reference to Raph's grunt.

Raph met his eyes and shook his head. "Nothin', just agreein' with you."

Leo arched a brow and nodded slowly. "Okay, well… I'm just gonna chill for a bit before I join Sensei for meditation…"

"You do that," Raph replied, uninterested, as he made his own way to the fridge while Leo left the kitchen. His thoughts immediately traveled to Autumn as he reached for a can of soda. He couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness every time mention was made of Autumn being human again. Yet he felt so conflicted – Leo was right, her safety was important, and it seemed as though the sooner she was human again, the sooner she'd be safe to walk the streets of New York again without the Foot breathing down her neck. But the sooner she was human, the sooner he'd lose any chance he had with her… If there was a chance to begin with…

"What's up, tough guy?" a voice suddenly asked right at his shoulder, making him nearly jump completely out of his shell.

"Holy hell, Autumn!" Raph exclaimed, turning to face her, as she stood grinning maliciously at him, leaning her back against the table.

"Sorry," she said, giving him a slightly sheepish look and a shrug. "Did I scare you?"

"I didn't even hear you coming," Raph replied, a mixture of surprise and disappointment in himself for allowing that to happen. He cracked open his soda and took a swig, trying to act unaffected.

Autumn gave him a playful punch on the arm and grinned again. "Well. Obviously you need to work on your skills." She gave him a sly smile. "How about we do that now?"

Raph went rigid and nearly choked on his drink. "W-what?"

"You heard me," she said, leaning forward more toward him, her palms pressed against the edge of the table. "Wanna spar?" She gave him a challenging grin, her eyes full of fire.

Raphael cleared his throat. His heart was hammering out of his plastron, his stomach was in knots. This was way too unexpected. He could feel perspiration gathering at the back of his neck and in his palms. _Get ahold of yourself, man,_ he thought frantically. _You can't let some girl control your emotions like this! Don't let her distract you!_

He narrowed his eyes at her and finally gathered the courage to return her grin. "You're on," he growled.

The fire burned brighter in her eyes, her grin broader across her caramel, scaly face. Was he playing along? This could be fun... "Great! Let's go!" She exclaimed, and instantly she was on all fours, taking off in perfect lizard form, snaking her way back to the dojo.

Raph hissed through his teeth, his whole being felt like it was in some contorted mess of emotions and nerves. "Have fun with that," Leo remarked from the common room, his eyes having apparently been on their exchange the entire time, a magazine in his hands which was resting in his lap completely ignored. He wore a mischievous grin on his face, wagging his eye ridges up and down at his brother.

Raph rolled his eyes. "Afraid I'll show you up?" he asked as he stood to follow Autumn.

Leo grinned and returned to the magazine he had begun reading. "Hardly," he responded in a low voice.

Autumn was waiting for Raph in the middle of the dojo floor, and he felt his breath hitch in his chest at the sight of her. Hip cocked to the side, arms folded across perfect breasts under her black tank top, her weight on one leg as the other angled out to the side, long and sculpted and perfect. And her smile… and those eyes… the way she was looking at him…

Wait… what was that look anyway? Was she flirting with him? No, certainly not.

"You ready?" she challenged, breaking him from his reverie.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You have no idea…" he responded in a low baritone, and he flew himself at her.

Which she quickly dodged with a skillful flip to the side. They carried on this way for some time, attacking and dodging, occasionally Autumn's tail would fly out and crack like a whip, catching him in the ankles and knocking him off balance.

He felt embarrassment burn in his cheeks, which he quickly forced himself to replace with anger. How is she this good? How can she have the upper hand on him? He boiled with more determination, feeling the anger rising in him. But she just laughed. She was enjoying this! He lunged, she dodged. Kicks, punches, limbs were flying right and left, sweat was dripping, breaths were heavy and labored, feet scuffled or pounded or leapt across the mat as Raph grunted and Autumn laughed with glee.

Finally, he had her from behind, his large sturdy arms wrapped tightly around her body, pinning her arms to her sides, his foot on her tail. The jagged barbs on her shoulders pressed painfully into him, but he ignored it. For a moment, they just stood there breathing heavily. He breathed in her scent, so musky yet feminine, and he tried to suppress a deep churr in the back of his throat as he felt a burning arousal rise within him. She grinned with pure joy, her hands gripping his arms as they held her tight. She didn't bother struggling. Without warning, she contracted every muscle in her abdomen, drawing her feet and legs up from the ground as high as they would reach, and with every ounce of force and momentum she could muster, she brought them back down to the ground with a slam, transferring all her weight and strength and energy up into her back, tightening her grip on his arms and pulling down as she felt his body lift up behind her on her back and then her shoulders, and as though in slow motion, grunting, she bent forward, her powerful quadriceps contracting as she held herself steady, feeling his massive, magnificent weight roll across the top of her. She dipped her head as his body went airborne over her, and she let go of him with a loud battle cry that echoed against the walls of the dojo.

Raphael flew across the room and crashed into their practice dummy several yards away. Autumn had crashed into a kneeling position, her hand steadying her on the floor, breathing heavily, adrenaline pumping through her veins, eyes wild and a giddy smile stuck on her face, waiting to see what Raph would do.

He just lied there, breathing heavily himself, in complete and utter shock. Did she just fucking flip him? Here he was, laying in a defeated heap on his shell on the remains of their practice dummy, feeling completely stripped of his manhood.

He waited, unmoving. He wasn't sure what to do next, never having been in this position before. Thank god his brothers didn't get to witness this, he'd never live it down. Suddenly he heard Autumn move. Her clawed feet tapped softly against the tatami mat as she neared him, and next thing he knew, she was hovering over him, her eyes locked on his and a wide victorious grin lighting up her face. God, she was even hotter from this position…

"That was exhilarating…" she breathed, her chest still heaving. She extended an arm, her palm outstretched, offering to help him up.

And as if he hadn't lost enough of his masculinity, he went ahead and took it, allowing her to heave him back up to stand. He was speechless, all he could do was stare at her. And he was so turned on… Why did this turn him on?

Because she was so fucking strong, and fierce, and the fire in her was so contagious, made him feel so _alive_ …

Their eyes didn't break contact, as they felt themselves falling deeper and deeper into each other's gaze. Hearts were beating, blood was pounding in their ears. He could smell her… arousal? Was she just as turned on as he was?

Her face grew slightly more serious, and just slightly challenging again too, as she stepped closer to him, their snouts just inches apart. He felt himself falter, his heart hammering harder, his stomach twisting and turning and threatening to bring him down completely into a useless, twitching ball of nerves.

"Did you like that?" she murmured seductively, her breath hot against his face, her violet eyes still piercing into his.

He choked. "I… I u-um…" God he was such a bumbling idiot. _Get a grip, get a grip…_

And then, he finally snapped out of it. The look in her eyes said she was thoroughly enjoying herself. Was this a game to her? Not only did she just beat him physically on the floor, but she's winning whatever this emotional…thing… was too.

He would not be defeated twice.

He narrowed his eyes and leaned in even closer to her, causing her eyes to widen as she leaned back ever so slightly. "Did _you_?" he growled back, a devilish grin coming over his face.

Her wide eyes narrowed, her grin still plastered on her face. "Thoroughly," she responded, almost in a whisper, her excitement growing now that he broke out of his trance and was finally playing back. She wasn't sure what her next move was.

And he wasn't either. At that moment he realized he wanted so badly to kiss her. To feel that hot breath not only against his face, but into his mouth, to feel her tongue against his… And somehow, he sensed she wanted to, too. He leaned in just a fraction more, wanting to see if she'd remain still or come in to meet him.

Sure enough, her eyelids fluttered to half mast, her violet eyes lightly glazing over, her breath becoming just the slightest bit heavier as she began leaning slowly in towards him…

And he smiled wide with excitement and desire. He had her distracted. At lightning speed, he had her in his clutches, his ankle hooked behind her legs, and fully body slammed onto the floor before she even knew what hit her. The next moment he was lying on top of her, his devilish grin lighting up his entire face until he finally broke into a victorious cackling laugh.

A look of total shock and betrayal was etched across her face as she stared at his massive form, laughing from on top of her. He had her legs and tail locked underneath his, her arms pinned under his hands.

"What the hell?!" she shouted in shock, not sure whether to be angry or even more turned on than before. His laugh was so hot, it melted her like butter… Her heart was beating harder in her chest, but not from exertion so much as the realization that her wet crotch was so close to the underside of his plastron, the only thing separating them was the worn denim of her shorts… She shocked herself at the thoughts that invaded her mind, and her cheeks burned.

Which of course he noticed. He laughed even more, then leaned in toward her, his hands gripping more firmly against her arms, and got close enough so she could feel his hot breath against her face again. "Pinned ya," he declared, his voice low, his emerald eyes burning into her violet irises.

Before she had a chance to speak, the door to the dojo opened and a surprised, "Whoa!" escaped Leo's throat before he could stop himself.

Raph flung himself backwards off of Autumn and landed on his feet, trying to look cool and collected, and Leo said sternly, "Sorry if I interrupted something, but seriously dude, in the _dojo?_ We _all_ train here, you know!"

This time Raphael felt his own cheeks flare, and his eyes narrowed angrily. Autumn pressed herself up onto her elbows behind her and worked her way up to standing as Raph replied defensively, his hands raised, "Hey man, nothing was happening except me defeating her, sorry you missed the show, I could probably teach you a thing or two." A proud look came across his face as he folded his arms across his shell.

Autumn shook her head, wanting to wipe that cocky grin right off his face. "You failed to mention the part where I flipped you across the room first," she stated calmly, folding her own arms across her chest.

Leo's eye ridges raised under his blue mask. "You flipped Raphael?"

Autumn looked at Leo, then stretched her head to one side, then the other, cracking her neck. "Yup," she answered nonchalantly, her lips popping at the end of the word. Then, for good measure, she turned to Raph, placed a hand on his cheek (as his eyes widened slightly, suddenly fearful of what she was about to do next), and said in a low, creamy smooth voice, "Thanks for the spar, tough guy, we should do it again sometime." Then she winked at him as she lightly drew her claws down the side of his face and skirted them off the bottom of his chin, causing a tingling sensation in his face that washed down throughout his whole body, and with one last seductive smile, she turned and left the dojo, an obvious bounce in her step.

Leo breathed out through his lips with a slight whistle as he watched her leave. Both brothers stood in stunned silence until finally Leo turned back to Raph, a playful smirk on his face. "Sounds like you had fun," he egged.

His brother in red rolled his eyes, his face matching his mask. "Don't know what yer talkin' about," he grumbled.

Leo laughed. "Please," he said sardonically. "You were in a pretty compromising position when I walked in—"

"That's what it looks like when you pin someone!" Raph protested.

"Right, and what's with her phone sex voice, and the whole dragging her fingernails across your face, huh?" Leo had a hand on his hip, thoroughly enjoying this opportunity to give his brother shit.

"That wasn't me, man, that was all her," Raph defended, throwing his hands up.

Leo chuckled. "Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it."

Raphael shook his head. "Whatever, it ain't like that, and it ain't none of your business." Raph glared at Leo, daring him to say more.

Leo respectfully dropped it, but didn't drop his smirk. "Well," he said, changing the subject. "April's heading to class, and Mikey's almost got food ready before we go out on patrol tonight. So come on out and join us."

He turned to leave the dojo, but not without getting one last dig in at Raph, muttering "tough guy" mockingly under his breath as he walked out.

Raph's sai suddenly whizzed past Leo's face, narrowly missing his nose, and made contact with a loud _thud_ on the wall across from him, reverberating from the contact. Leo only paused for a fraction of a second, then simply grinned more as he shook his head and left for the kitchen.

Raph felt heat rising to his face as he gritted his teeth and growled in frustration. What the fuck is happening to him? He clenched and unclenched his fists, regaining control of his temper, and went to retrieve his sai as he headed toward the bathroom to freshen up before joining the others in the kitchen. At least it was his turn to patrol tonight. That usually helps clear his head.

Raph took his time cleaning up, then joined the others in the kitchen to find them all discussing patrol with Autumn, who seemed to be filled with questions and was listening intently to their answers.

"Oh hey Raph, Autumn said she's interested in going on patrol," Leo explained as soon as he entered the room, a little too cheerfully.

"It's my night to go," Raph stated, feeling caught off guard, his eyes narrowing at his brother.

Leo shrugged, "Yeah, so? It's not like she'll slow you up or anything…" he responded.

Raph glared incredulously at Leo. "After what just happened earlier today?" he questioned, exasperated.

"That's what I said," Donnie interjected, taking Raph's side.

Autumn groaned and rolled her eyes, but Leo continued before she could say anything. "Look, she's healed up, she's skilled, and the Foot are after us more so than they're after her, but that doesn't stop us from going out every night." Autumn grinned victoriously after Leo's words, folding her arms across her chest.

"I have to agree with Leo," April offered softly. "She's been fending for her life all alone for the whole past year, and now you expect to keep her cooped up underground for the remainder of her lizard life?" She shook her head. "I don't think that's fair. Or good for morale." She offered Raph a sympathetic smile.

Raph couldn't exactly argue with April or Leo. He turned to look at Autumn, feeling his anger rising at the sight of the smug grin on her face. He was not thrilled. Her face fell. "What's the matter?" she asked playfully. "I promise I'll save some of the bad guys for you to take down!"

 _Bitch is playing games with me again,_ he thought with an annoyed scowl. _Get back in the game, Raph,_ he pressed himself mentally. _Just play along, don't let her have all the fun._ His scowl converted to a grin and he approached her, looking directly into her eyes. "Well, we sure do know you can handle yourself. Unless one of them tries to distract you…" and he gave her two pats on the cheek and winked at her before casually making his way to the stove to serve himself some of Mikey's spaghetti and meatballs. Autumn sat stunned in her chair, realizing Raph was definitely onto her and wasn't going to let her playful banter be one-sided. A confused, uncertain silence hung in the air for a moment, until Donnie broke it, being the only one of them that had any idea what was going on between the two hotheaded reptiles.

"Well, I haven't really been picking up on any activity anywhere, so you guys may have a pretty uneventful night, which will be good after today's events," he stated, twirling his fork in his spaghetti.

"That's okay," Autumn replied, "I'm just excited for the experience, to be out in the city at night and not have to fear for my life…"

Raph sighed, pausing their game momentarily to get out of his selfish head and consider her feelings. He was still shook up about what happened on the rooftop earlier that day, but she'd proven her skill and strength time and time again. Leo and April were right, it wasn't fair to think she should stay cooped up and hidden down in the lair. And if he ever wanted to stand a chance with her, being overprotective was not the way to go about it. "It'll be fun," he said encouragingly.

Autumn smiled at him. "Oh I'm sure it will…" Raph wasn't sure if he detected an innuendo in there or not, and chose to ignore it, diving into his food.

"Well, I'm about to head to class," April interrupted, curiously eyeing the two love-struck reptiles. "You guys have fun on patrol tonight!" And she finished with a playful wink. She kissed Donnie on the cheek, said her goodbyes, and left.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Whew, it's gettin' hot in here! I had a lot of fun writing this, hopefully you have fun reading it! Reviews are always appreciated, but thank you to everyone who has followed and favorited this story too!**

Chapter 7

Giving In

Autumn had been running behind Raph on the building tops for nearly an hour, leaping over alleys, hurdling air conditioner units and solar panels, not falling behind in the slightest. The night air was warm as summer began to seep into the remaining tendrils of spring, replacing the comfortable warm air of the day and cool breezes of the night with a heat that took awhile to relinquish its grip over the city well into the night hours. She loved it though, especially as a reptile. Winter was a difficult season, and whatever bit of human she had left in her to help regulate her body temperature was all she believed that saved her as the freezing days and nights unleashed their fury. She was thrilled to welcome the summer.

They came to a stop, and Autumn watched as Raphael studied the streets and the alleys. There was nothing to see. "This is lame," Raph huffed with disappointment. "Donnie was right, the night is pretty uneventful."

"Well that's good," Autumn scoffed condescendingly, "Now you don't have to worry about me getting attacked." Raph chose to ignore her. She took in their surroundings. "So what now?" Autumn asked as she turned to face him. "Go back to the lair?"

Raph shook his head. "Nah. Usually this spot has gotten action before, so I guess we can just wait here for awhile, see if anything pops up. Technically ol' Fearless wants us to stay out all night just in case."

Autumn looked around at the secluded roof top. She took a seat on the ledge at the edge of the building, her back facing out, tail curled around her and resting on the floor at her feet. She looked down over her shoulder at the city streets below, quiet and empty as this was a less active part of town, the street lights glinting in tiny rainbows in her gray-brown eyes.

"So," she began, deciding to make conversation. "What was it like before you were mutated? Like, being a real turtle and all?" She looked at him inquisitively, and he returned her gaze with a thoughtful expression.

He shook his head slowly. "I don't really remember," he responded, then rubbed the back of his neck. "I kinda remember the early days of first being mutated… I like to think me and my brothers were just like any kids. We played, we wrestled, we were full of questions about life, especially the world above that Sensei kept us from…"

"When did you finally get to come up here for the first time?"

She watched him as he took a seat next to her, his palms on the concrete ledge on either side of him, his elbows locked. "On our fifteenth mutation day," he responded. "That's when we learned about the whole Kraang thing and our lives were never the same since." He met her eyes and gave her a half smile that squished her heart into a puddle. She felt the urge rising in her to pick up her playful banter with him again. Once she started interacting with him like that, it just felt natural, like that's how she was supposed to behave with him. And the more he picked back, the more she wanted to egg it on. Even though she had no idea what it meant for either of them, and still didn't help her confusion as to how she felt.

"It's so weird…" she said, hanging onto their casual conversation for a while longer before losing control and picking up her flirting from before.

"What?" Raph asked.

Autumn shrugged, thinking through her words. "I dunno, how _human_ you seem, I guess. I could have sworn you had a story just like mine when I first met you." She met his eyes for a moment. God they were green…

Raph smiled and looked out over the rooftop, leaning forward on the heels of his hands and thinking. "What do you think I would look like if I were human?" he asked.

A smile spread across Autumn's face. "Hmm…" she said thoughtfully. "Maybe… dark hair? Same green eyes…" She reached out and squeezed the firm deltoids in his shoulders, unable to stop the flirtatious feeling taking over inside of her. "Same muscly arms and broad shoulders. Only not green and scaly…" she chuckled. "Obviously."

"And probably no shell," he added with a laugh.

She let out a giggle that enveloped him in a warm, tingling sensation. "No, you'd probably have a hairy chest," she responded, rubbing her clawed hand playfully across the upper part of his plastron, where pecs would normally be.

"Hey now!" he retorted with a laugh.

"What?" she grinned, "I like hairy chests!"

"Well, sorry I can't come through for ya on that one," he replied with a smirk.

"I'll get over it," she remarked with a smile, and they held each other's eyes for a moment, both of them suddenly wondering how the hell the conversation got to where it was. Raphael could feel himself growing slightly nervous. What exactly _were_ they talking about? Was she insinuating that she wanted to be with him… romantically? Or at least intimately? Hang on… Didn't he just insinuate the same thing?

The same thoughts were spinning through her own mind, though she did well not to let it show. She wasn't sure where she was going with it either. She thought back to her conversation with April, who advised her to live in the moment. Don't give into fear. So she rolled with it. She didn't know what she wanted in the long run, but in the moment, she knew she liked him, she was attracted to him, and all she could do at this point in her crazy messed up life was just go with that.

"So what else is human about you?" she asked, having fun with the conversation they had going, but also feeling genuinely curious about these four mutant brothers.

Raph smiled, seeming to relax a little more, glad to go back to their regular conversation rather than stew in the confusion of his emotions… and hers… "Um…" he said, thinking of something clever, but not coming up with anything. He kicked at some loose gravel on the concrete, watching his foot as it shuffled. "Not my toes…" he responded, wiggling the three stubs that poked out through his thick, taped up feet and ankles.

A full bodied laugh burst out from Autumn, her body leaning forward as more laughter ensued. Raph just grinned, watching her, loving everything about her laughter and her joy. He didn't think what he said was _that_ funny, but he thoroughly enjoyed the fact that she did.

"No," she spluttered, wiping a tear from her eye. "No, your toes are definitely not human." He grinned at her again. God she loved that grin. She couldn't help but grin back, her eyes lit up with joy, not wanting this moment with the turtle in red to end.

"What about you?" he asked, turning the tables. "What part of your human self did you get to hang onto?"

She was feeling bold, her laughing spell opening up a sense of fearlessness and recklessness in her. She gave him a seductive smile, outstretched her caramel, scaly arms and shook her shoulders, causing her perky breasts to shimmy under her tank top. "You're lookin' at it, baby!" she exclaimed.

A strangled sound of surprise escaped Raph's throat as he jumped a few inches back from her side, a look of shock (but also a hint of teenage giddiness) plastered across his face, which was also quickly turning a dark shade of red.

Autumn dropped her arms to her side, still grinning ear to ear. "What?" she asked. "Can't handle it?"

"Um…" Raph struggled, and she laughed again, thoroughly enjoying making him feel uncomfortable.

She hit him playfully on the shoulder. "I'm just messin' with ya," she said, hoping to get him to ease up a bit. She then looked at him curiously, her eyes roving over his body, and he suddenly felt very exposed. He remained unmoving, bracing himself for what might come out of her mouth next, hoping he'd be able to keep his cool and not make an idiot of himself. This girl was nuts. And she was obviously enjoying what she was doing to him. But what _was_ she doing to him? Was she just being ornery? Or was this genuine flirting? _Just roll with it, Raph,_ he told himself. _Don't let her have control over you._ It's all he could do at this point.

"'K, my turn again," she said with a smile, which then turned seductive, her eyelids lowering over fiery irises. She leaned in closer, and in a voice low and smooth, asked, "So whatcha got under that shell?" His eyes flew open wide. _Was she asking…?_ "Human or turtle?"

He choked. _Yep, yep she was._ "Jesus!" he shouted, a mortified look coming over his face as he leaned away from her, which caused Autumn to lean back and laugh even harder than before. _Play along, play along,_ he told himself like a mantra. He narrowed his eyes, locking them on hers, and replied, "You're crossin' a line there, baby doll, dontcha think?" She raised an eye ridge and smirked, waiting to hear the rest of what he was about to say. His heart hammered. He couldn't believe he was doing this, how the hell did it get this far? And where the hell was it going? He steadied himself and leaned in, hoping his face looked equally seductive as hers did. Her heart was hammering too, having no idea what to expect to come out of his mouth next, no way to prepare herself for what response she'd have for him. She waited, her eyes locked on his. "We haven't even made it to first base yet," he said, his voice low and chocolaty.

She swallowed hard. Their noses were just inches from each other, their eyes locked. There was no denying where this was headed, and she was suddenly terrified. She still didn't understand her feelings. And much less, she had no idea what his feelings really were. Was he just picking on her, getting back at her for picking on him? Or did he really like her? Or was this another trick like what happened in the dojo? She could have sworn he really did want to kiss her then… But, didn't she want it, too? Should she just keep rolling with this?

 _Yes_. "Well then. Batter up…" she said, her voice almost a whisper. _Yes she should._

She leaned in closer, her eyelids fluttering closed, just as they had when she thought he was about to kiss her in the dojo. But this time, his eyelids lowered too, as he began leaning in toward her. And finally, she closed the gap, pressing her lips against his, fireworks lighting up inside of her. Her senses automatically heightened to the experience, and she drank in the feel of his lips, cool and rough yet so soft, pressed up against hers which probably didn't feel much different. She tilted her head to the side to get a better angle, and he followed her lead. It started out soft, little pecks and nibbles, as they carefully explored. One hand gripped the ledge they were sitting on as she brought the other up to grip his firm bicep, only enhancing the experience.

Electricity shot through him at the touch of her lips against his, followed by more pulses of electricity as her hand found his upper arm. He was losing himself in her. The world was spinning around him to the point where all that existed was the two of them. He brought his hands up to grip the backs of her arms, feeling her solid triceps in his palms, and he drew her closer to him. He felt her draw his lower lip into her mouth, and his body lit up with arousal as she nipped at it and returned to her gentle kissing. He wanted more. He nipped at her lower lip in response, and felt the vibrations of a moan that emitted from the back of her throat as she melted into him. _Oh god…_ he thought deliciously as his hands moved from her arms to her back, then up to brush down across the barbs along her neck and shoulders.

Her hands came up to his plastron, and they both drank in the reality of how completely not human either one of them were, not caring in the slightest, finally having someone to mutually accept their crazy, mutated form.

Her thick tongue came out to brush across his upper lip, and she felt him shudder with excitement as he wrapped his arms further around her body, continuing to caress her back through the worn fabric of her tank top, and his tongue responded through parted lips like a warm ocean wave, pressing into hers. She snaked her way into his mouth, and he lit up like fire at the sensation. He felt he'd lose himself right then and there at the intensity of the feeling of her exploring his mouth. What that tongue might feel like elsewhere on him… He darted into her mouth, brushing across her tongue and savoring the taste of her, hot and delicious.

She wanted more. She brought her palms and long fingers up to his face and deepened the kiss, groaning into his mouth. He followed suit, gripping her face as well, his fingers brushing along her jaw, soft and smooth despite the scales. They held each other's faces as their tongues hungrily explored and savored each other, completely lost in the heat of the moment.

Suddenly, the moment was interrupted by a crash and a scuffle from down below. They broke from each other quickly, breathing heavily and staring at each other, almost in shock as to how enthralled they were in each other's embrace. Finally they brought their gaze down to where they heard the crash, and realized they were witnessing a robbery in action.

"Looks like we're gonna get some action tonight after all," Raph declared, standing up from the ledge and getting ready to leap down the fire escape, his plastron still rising and falling deeply with his panting breath.

Autumn smirked at him and cheekily responded, "What are you talkin' about? We've already gotten some action." And with a wink, she dived gracefully over the side of the building head-first and stealthily crawled down the side of the bricks.

Raph was entranced for a moment as he watched her feminine form disappear over the side of the building, until finally he shook himself free from her spell and leapt silently onto the fire escape.

She was on the ground first, hiding alongside the building that was being robbed, engulfed in shadows. Raphael quietly joined her at her side. "You know these guys?" she whispered to him as two of them carried a television from the store, the glass busted out of the door.

Raph shook his head, "Nah, they're nothin', just a regular ol' crime happening here." He scoped them out – there were three men dressed in black pants and black hoodies, moving appliances from the building into an unmarked van. "They probably have guns," he said to her, "so be careful." His eyes roved over her breasts, he still felt riled up from their earlier excitement. Her cheeks reddened as his eyes roamed and came back up to meet hers. "You're not quite as protected as I am," he said simply, and she rolled her eyes.

"Let's just stop them," she groaned at him, eager for a little more adventure for the night.

Raphael had the two carrying the TV snatched by their shirts in a matter of seconds. They instantly dropped the TV, the glass shattering as it crashed onto the pavement, staring in horror at the mutant that had them in his grasp. "Game over!" he shouted at them with a grin, and brought his fists in together, causing their skulls to collide with a loud crack, and he threw them to the side.

He turned to take care of the third guy in the van, only to find Autumn standing fully upright inside of it, the back doors open wide, doing that thing with her hip cocked out to the side and her leg at an angle, her arms crossed over her chest, looking victorious. The end of her long slender tail was wrapped around the thief's throat, holding him up high enough that, should she drop him, something would definitely wind up broken. He gripped at her tail around his throat, his legs thrashing as he struggled.

"Damn, woman, you're slick," Raphael breathed in awe. He didn't even hear her slide into the van, and was amazed at how silently she managed to have the guy in her clutches.

She grinned at him and threw the thief to the side, sending his head crashing into the brick building and knocking him out cold as he fell into a crumpled heap next to the other two knocked out villains.

"You have that effect on me," Autumn responded in a sultry voice, as she gracefully hopped down out of the back of the van. She reached into the van and withdrew a coil of rope from the back corner, and tossed an end to Raph. Together they had the three men tied up, their hands bound behind them and their backs to each other with the rope bound tightly around their torsos, their heads lolled to the side in their unconscious state.

As though it were nothing more than a game, Raph held his hand up and Autumn high fived him, both of them smiling stupidly from the excitement of the night. And not just from the robbery they had stopped.

Their eyes met, and instantly Raphael could feel the heat rising in him again. Her eyes looked hungry, and her tongue slipped out to lick her lips, her chest rising and falling from her heavy breathing. Without hesitation, he lurched forward, grabbing her by the backs of her arms and pressing his mouth to hers once more, pushing her backwards into the shadows until her back was thrust up against the building. She kissed him back hungrily, her lips sucking his in, gathering his bottom lip between her teeth, their tongues lapping each other's wetness greedily, hungrily. Her hands found the back of his neck, groped at his skull, and he bravely, boldly, brought his hands down her back to her shorts, past the broad base of her tail that broke through ripped denim, and drew her firm buttocks into a tight grip. She moaned loudly at the sensation, feeling heat and a delicious wetness growing inside of her. He could smell it, her heat and arousal driving him insane as he devoured her. He brought his mouth to the side of her scaled face, to her firm jawline, trailing hungry kisses down her throat, dipping his head to press his face into her soft neck. She tilted her head to allow him more access, and cried out breathily as he drew her delicate skin into his mouth, sucking hard. She thrust herself against him involuntarily, causing him to growl and suck harder. She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and suddenly lifted herself off the ground, her legs spread, her ankles hooked behind his carapace as her crotch pressed greedily against the lower part of his plastron.

An animalistic growl tumbled from the back of his throat as his hands tightened against her ass, his fingertips suddenly dangerously close to her hot center, the way she tasted and smelled was maddening enough, but to have her wrapped around him like this, he almost couldn't take it. His tail dropped down, his cock begging to be released from its confines, yearning for touch. It was all he could do to control himself to keep it restrained, until finally he couldn't take it anymore.

He broke away from her wet, swollen lips, breathing heavily. She stared into his eyes, wondering why he stopped, and he held her for a moment longer before placing her gently back on the ground.

"What's wrong?" she asked, panting and getting her bearings about her as she steadied herself on her feet, obviously not ready for things to be over.

Raph shook his head and nervously brought his hand to the back of his neck, squeezing the tight muscles there. He curled his tail back up into his shell as he caught his breath. "If we keep going on like this, I'm not gonna be able to control myself," he answered, his voice low and raspy. He met her eyes sheepishly, and she smiled at him. "I'm not ready to go there," he said, his voice so low it was almost inaudible.

Autumn gave him a light, playful slap on the arm. "It's okay," she answered. "That was fun though," she added with a delighted grin, and he couldn't help but grin back at her.

"We should probably head back to the lair," he said, swinging his hands at his sides, suddenly feeling slightly embarrassed by how out of control he had felt with her.

"Sure thing, boss," she replied with a playful salute. She looked at the nearest manhole, then back up at the rooftop, the inky night sky open and welcoming above them. She returned her gaze to him and asked, "Up or down?"

He smiled. "Up," he answered, and with a laugh, she leapt up onto the wall of the building, claws extended, and slithered up the side. He whistled out a breath as he watched her - he could never get enough of watching her move - and he finally hopped up on the fire escape, flipping himself up the side of it, driven by ecstasy and adrenaline from the night's events. She was already leaping across the buildings toward the vicinity of the lair, and he quickly propelled himself after her, enjoying the view of her glowing body reflecting the lights from the streets below and the moon above.

Autumn and Raphael arrived at the manhole cover, breathless and exhilarated. Before climbing down, their eyes met, chests heaving, and big giddy grins on their faces that they couldn't seem to shake after the night's events. They stood there for a moment, drinking in the sight of each other's sweaty, breathless forms. Autumn was grateful she didn't have hair at this moment, imagining how disheveled it would probably look. She felt heat rise in her cheeks at the memory of their frantic, desperate make out session. She noticed Raphael lick his lips, felt his eyes on her, and another wave of heat enveloped her nether regions. This time she took the initiative, gracefully stepping closer to him, grabbing his face in her palms, and pulling him to her as she pressed her lips against his. He groaned happily as he wrapped his arms around her, their tongues finding each other again, dancing and darting between each other's mouths. Autumn grew softer this time, lazily draping her arms around the back of his neck, slowing to soft, languid kisses, savoring the taste of his mouth as she pressed the length of her body against his unyielding plastron. Their breathing slowed as they held each other, caressing, kissing gently, slowly… Finally, Autumn pulled away, leaning back slightly, her arms still draped around his neck, as she looked deeply into his eyes with a satisfied, fulfilled smile. He smiled warmly back at her, his eyes bright at alive.

"I had fun tonight," Autumn said, still smiling.

Raph's grin widened. "Me too," he answered, giving her a squeeze around her waist. Then his smile faded. "We're gonna need to hit the showers before anyone sees us… or smells us," he stated nervously. "I'm not ready for my brothers' wrath…" _Especially when I'm not even sure what the hell this is…_ he finished in his mind.

Autumn giggled softly. "Yeah, you're right," she agreed with a nod, her cheeks turning red.

Raphael loved how she blushed. He brought a hand to her cheek and brushed his thumb in gentle strokes, drinking her in one last time. "Let's not tell my brothers about this, okay?" he asked hopefully.

Autumn pulled away and stooped to lift the manhole cover. She shot him a sly smile and said, "Tell your brothers what?" and she disappeared into the sewer in one graceful leap.

Raphael exhaled and shook his head, smiling. He wasn't quite sure what was happening, but at this moment, he knew he liked it.

Down in the lair, Autumn navigated her way quickly and silently back to the shower. She knew she wouldn't be seen, but wanted to move as swiftly as possible so as not to be smelled. She knew she reeked of sweat and Raph and… sheer primal arousal… She shuddered at the embarrassment of having to face the others smelling like that. She breathed a sigh of relief once she was stripped of her tattered clothes and was safely in the shower, the curtain drawn behind her and the hot water cascading onto her flushed, scaled skin. She studied herself closer as she built up the soap suds in her hands, taking in her freakishly long, clawed fingers. She drew the soap up her arm, toward her shoulder. It still looked like her human arm, but scaled and caramel brown. For once she didn't feel sickened by the sight of herself, or even the thought of herself. Raphael made her feel wanted, made her feel desirable, made her feel... _hot_. God, everything about that night was so _hot_ … She grew wet just thinking about it. She tried to shake the thought from her mind. She had to get these smells off of her. She thought about Donnie's retro-mutagen and looked down at her arms again. She was going to be human again… And how crazy, the timing of it all, now that she's finally grown to accept her new form, she'd be losing it in just a matter of weeks.

Would Raphael still like her as a human? And what was going on between them, anyway? Are they just having fun? Or was a relationship going to develop out of this, like Donnie and April? Would that work for her? She wanted so badly to return to her human life… to see her family and friends again… If she ended up with a mutant boyfriend in the sewers, she'd never be able to live a normal life…

 _Cross that bridge when you get there, Autumn¸_ she told herself, thinking about kissing Raph, how exciting it was, how erotic it was becoming… Whatever this is that they had going on, it was _fun_. She knew she wanted him, knew she was attracted to him, so she'd just roll with that for now and see where it goes. Even if she felt slightly apprehensive as to where it could lead…

Raphael quietly crept back toward his bedroom, hoping Autumn would be done in the shower soon, and hoping even more to avoid his brothers, but that plan was quickly derailed when he was intercepted by Donatello, who gave him an inquisitive look with a half smile. "How was patrol?" he asked casually, the smirk still tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Raphael felt anger threatening to rise up in him, wanting to wipe that stupid grin off his brother's face. "Stopped a robbery, that was about it," Raph responded in a low voice, staring into Donnie's eyes, daring him to say anything.

Donnie must have been feeling rather bold, because he replied, "Oh, was the robbery at a brothel?" He looked like he tried to stifle a laugh.

This only made Raph's blood boil. "Shut yer trap, Donnie," Raph threatened.

Donnie brought his hands up in surrender, still smiling and trying not to laugh. "Hey no hard feelings, man! It's about time you got a little action! Seeing the way she's been looking at you for the past week, figured it'd have to happen sooner or later."

Raph's eye ridges knit together. _The way she's been looking at me?_ "Yeah, well, I don't really know what's going on right now, so just shut up."

Donnie dropped his hands and smiled at his brother. "I'm not gonna say anything, Raph," he promised. "But if you need any advice, just let me know!" he added with a wink.

Raph rolled his eyes. He'd had enough of his brother's cocky attitude, thinking he's suddenly a dating expert. "Get over yerself, Donnie," he couldn't help but say. "You've only been dating for three months, so quit actin' like ya know everything. Ya haven't even gotten laid yet," he grumbled.

Donnie looked a little taken aback by Raph's remark. He blinked a few times, then said, "I'm just tryin' to help, Raph…" he said softly.

Raph looked down and sighed, suddenly feeling bad for flying off the handle. "I'm sorry, Donnie. I don't wanna get in yer business." He looked up to meet his brother's eyes. "I'm happy for you and April." He offered him an apologetic smile. "I just need to figure out what the hell I've got going on." He shook his head, then continued, "Cuz it's nothin' like you and April…" They held each other's gaze for a moment longer, neither one of them sure what to say, until finally Raph said, "I need a shower. Catch ya later." And he pushed by him toward the restrooms, praying Autumn was finished.

Donnie stared in amazement, watching Raph head down the hall. An apology _and_ a compliment _and_ honesty all in one conversation? Along with very uncharacteristic anger management? Whatever was happening between Raph and Autumn, it was turning out to be a very good thing. He smiled and shook his head, continuing on his way back to his lab.

After spending the remainder of the night hanging out in the common room with Mikey and Leo (who seemed to be none the wiser to their brother's shenanigans with their new friend earlier), everyone made their way back to their separate rooms, bidding each other good night. Raph lingered with Autumn at the doorway to April's room, wanting desperately to pick up where they left off at the manhole, but reserving some control over himself. She was wearing a long baggy t-shirt that hung on her in ways that revealed there was nothing on underneath, and his insides burned at the thought.

They smiled at each other silently for a moment, drinking each other in with their gaze.

Raph sighed and said, "Well, goodnight, I guess…"

Autumn grinned and looked down, her cheeks growing red. "Goodnight," she responded, looking back up to meet his eyes.

Raph gave her one last smile, and almost turned to leave, but remembered something. Feeling bold, he leaned in closer with a seductive grin and lowered eyelids, and whispered, "Oh, and to answer your question from earlier tonight?" He paused for effect, then finished, "Human enough." He gave her a wink, thoroughly enjoying the lustful look in her widened eyes, and he turned to walk casually back to his room. Her breath caught in her throat as her body grew hot at the visual he left her with, nearly going crazy watching him saunter down the hall…


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Hey! Thanks again for reviewing and all for the new follows/faves! I appreciate it! Sorry I'm not on any kind of updating schedule. I actually have this whole story written out from beginning to end so it really shouldn't be hard to maintain a schedule for posting regularly, but life likes to get in the way. Oh well. Hope you're enjoying so far! Raph and Autumn are having more fuuuunnnn, Leo tries to talk to Raph about it but doesn't get very far, and April and Donnie... Well, let's just say I had a lot of fun writing this chapter for them! Enjoy!**

Chapter 8

Roll With It

It seemed as though neither Raphael nor Autumn wanted to address what exactly was going on between them, or where it was going. They had the same fears, centered around Autumn returning to her human form in a matter of weeks, yet they shared the inability to communicate their fears with each other. But they also seemed to be in mutual, unspoken agreement that they were having fun. The attention they got from each other, the excitement of sneaking around and keeping it hidden from the others, the spontaneity of it…

For the next week after their night together on patrol, they'd seized every opportunity possible to be together in private, whether for a quick peck or a heated make-out session. They'd take turns initiating, not to be outdone by the other.

Raphael was walking innocently toward the dojo, when he met Autumn in the hallway. Before he knew what hit him, Autumn had her tail around his neck, her hands on the doorknob of a closet, and in the blink of an eye he was thrust inside, the door closed behind them, her hands on his plastron as she devoured his mouth in the dark, in amongst the mops and brooms and buckets. He held her against him, his hands grasping at her back, feeling the spiny ridges of the barbs down her shoulders. And just before his arousal could completely consume him, she disappeared from the closet, leaving him alone and panting against the shelves of cleaning supplies, completely disoriented.

Autumn was just leaving the shower, a towel wrapped around her, seemingly lost in her own thoughts as she made her way toward April's bedroom, ignoring her surroundings, when Raphael appeared out of nowhere and thrust her back into the bathroom, throwing her up against the slick wall, wet with condensation from her recent shower, the room still clouded with steam. His mouth was on her wet neck, his whole body pressed heavily against hers, pinning her to the wall, his hands clutched around her wrists as he held them against the wall above her body. His weight against her was the only thing holding her towel in place, which only turned both of them on even more. He suckled and nipped his way across her throat, feeling it expand and contract as she gasped at his hot mouth on her scaly flesh. He worked his way onto her exposed collarbone, over onto her shoulder, trailing hot kisses and leaving tingling in his wake. He then stopped, brought his face up close to hers and locked eyes, loving the look of her face flushed with arousal. He smiled, let loose of a low chuckle, his eyes devious, and he planted a quick peck on her lips, and quickly turned and leapt out of the bathroom, leaving her breathless, wide eyed, and panting against the wall, her towel dropping to the floor around her feet just seconds after he left.

It continued on like this for another week, every day, every moment finding an opportunity to attack each other, consume each other, or simply just touch each other. Such as sitting at the table to eat, Autumn walking behind Raph and dragging one of her claws seductively across the back of his neck and shoulders. Or standing within just enough distance to snake her tail around his ankle, and drag it up to his knee and back, sending maddening tingles shooting up into the lower part of his shell. Raph was a little less playful and a little more ornery, walking past her in the hall and meeting her eyes as though he was about to jump her, and instead swinging his leg out and catching her ankles, sending her nearly into a face plant onto the concrete floor as he continued walking, laughing. The only way he could get anywhere like that with her was by distracting her, and he loved knowing that he was the ultimate distraction. His favorite was getting to walk behind her and give her a swift slap on the ass, getting her to yelp at the sting. Normally that would follow with a quick crack of her whip-like tail against his thigh in retaliation, leaving her own stinging sensation on his body (which he didn't mind at all).

But never once did they speak of what was going on between them. Not to each other, and definitely not to the others.

Though everyone, in their own way, noticed something was going on. Raphael was downright jovial, never losing his temper and actually being pleasant to be around. And they couldn't help but notice the way Raph and Autumn stole glances at each other, or took every chance to sit next to each other, stand next to each other, or find a way to touch each other, even if they tried to make it look accidental.

Mikey entertained himself by cracking jokes at the two, attempting to embarrass them but they continued to brush his comments off as though they didn't know what he was talking about. Donnie kept to himself, the only one of the brothers who had any idea what was going on, but not wanting to intrude on Raph's personal life. He let Raph know he was there if he needed anything, and from the looks of how things were going, it seemed as though everything was going just fine. If Splinter knew anything, he was also keeping to himself. Raph just assumed he did – not only being a skilled ninja but also having raised the boys as his sons since they were babies, he knew everything in their lives by second nature. Raphael was grateful that his father chose not to confront him about it, not wanting to have to deal with that conversation.

Leo, however, couldn't keep it to himself any longer, and confronted Raph while the two of them were out on patrol one night.

"What's the deal with you and Autumn, anyway?" Leo asked, cutting to the chase, as they stood at the edge of a building, overlooking a busy intersection in the city below, colorful and bright from the neon and streetlights all around. The night was cooler than it had been the past week, and the crisp breeze felt refreshing after a run across the building tops.

Raph rolled his eyes. "You're wasting yer time asking," he replied. "I don't even know."

Leo studied his brother thoughtfully, then looked back down at the bustling street. "Well obviously something is going on, the way you look at each other, and pick on each other, and every now and then disappear together." Raph went slightly stiff at that comment, but didn't say anything. "Don't think I haven't noticed," Leo added, glancing at him.

"Look," Raph said, surrendering. "I really don't know what's going on. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to her since the moment we first saw her. And apparently she feels the same or we wouldn't have…" he waved his hands around at his waist, searching for the words, "whatever this is… we have going on."

"How does she feel about you, though?" Leo asked curiously.

Raph shrugged. "I honestly don't know. We don't talk about it."

"You don't talk about it?" Leo questioned, arching a brow at his brother.

"No, we haven't talked much at all, actually, except our stupid banter," he replied with a shrug. He saw Leo studying him, looking concerned and confused. Raph turned to face him full-on, feeling defensive. "Look it's not really any of your business," he said with a gruff voice and narrowed eyes. "I appreciate your concern, but I've got this. We're just havin' fun. That's all it is."

Leo stepped one foot up on the ledge at the edge of the building and leaned his forearm on his knee. "Just don't want to see you get hurt," he said.

"Why would I get hurt?"

"Because you're falling for her, and you don't even know what it is you have going on between you," Leo responded evenly, then looked over to see how his brother was processing his words.

Raph narrowed his eyes. "Look, don't think I haven't thought about any of this. She's gonna be human again in a week and a half, she's probably gonna go back to her old life, and I don't wanna hold her back from it. So we're havin' a good time while she's here, makin' the most of it, and that's it." Raph walked away from his brother in blue. "So just drop it, okay?" he said over his shoulder, then ran to the edge and leapt across the alleyway onto the neighboring building.

Leo felt a pang of remorse for his brother, and decided to just let him run. There was nothing more he could do for him.

Meanwhile, April's cell phone buzzed from its place on Donnie's table in the lab. She had been keeping him company while he worked on his retro-mutagen. Raph and Leo were out on patrol again, and Autumn and Mikey were in the common room bonding over _Crognard_. Master Splinter was most likely meditating. They had about a week and a half left before the retro-mutagen was complete, which they all knew Autumn had been growing more and more eager about.

She left her boyfriend's side to retrieve the phone, and felt excitement rise up inside her when she read the message. "It's Casey!" she exclaimed to Donnie, who looked up at her in anticipation.

 _Hey Red! Wrapping up finals this week, gonna be in town this coming weekend and thought I'd stop by and see everyone._

Donnie smiled as April read the message out loud, looking forward to seeing his former rival-turned-friend. "Great! The others will be happy to hear that. Raph especially," he added, turning back to his beakers and vials.

April's thumbs flew across the keyboard, texting him back.

 _That's awesome, Casey! We're so excited to see you! And we have someone for you to meet!_

April read her response out loud to Donnie, and grinned at the thought of Casey meeting Autumn. What will he think of her?

"He's probably going to hit on her," Donnie said with a chuckle, but felt instantly guilty and childish for saying it. Raph didn't deserve to go through what he went through with April during the whole Kraang invasion. Nobody did.

April gave him a discerning look. "Let's hope not," she retorted. "You know how you dealt with Casey, can you imagine Raph dealing with it?" April sat down next to Donnie. "Besides, last I spoke with Casey, he said he's seeing someone. So he better not be flirting with anybody."

"Eh, Raph can handle himself anyway," Donnie replied, pouring liquid from one vial into another. "Besides, I'm done worrying about Casey's love life, or lack thereof." He smiled up at April and finished, "I'm right where I want to be." He stepped closer and gave April a quick peck on the lips, flooding her heart with warmth and happiness. He returned to his work, but she reached up to cup his cheek and draw his face back to meet hers. They held each other's eyes for a moment.

"I miss you, Donnie…" she whispered, her blue eyes locked on his brown. He'd been so absorbed in his retro-mutagen project, and she'd been so consumed by finals, they had hardly spent any time together in the past week.

He gave her a soft smile, and turned completely away from his work to face her and place his own three-fingered hand on her cheek, pushing his fingers into her red hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes at the touch, enjoying the feeling of growing intimacy between them, after having hardly any at all in too long. Her eyes fluttered open just in time to see him leaning closer to her, taking his lips into hers, and her eyelids floated shut again as she melted into him. God she missed this… She deepened the kiss, pushing her tongue into his lips, and he immediately granted her entrance, meeting her with his own tongue. She didn't realize how much she had actually missed him, missed this, until now. All her feelings and desires came crashing into her, the relief of her finals being behind her finally sunk in as she surrendered to the freedom of not having to think about school anymore, and being able to focus on her boyfriend, whom she wanted desperately. She let her desire take the reigns as she hungrily kissed him. He followed her lead, meeting her with equal ferocity, the heat of their passion rising intensely. Without thinking, she left her seat, keeping her lips against his, and climbed into his lap, her legs straddling his waist, pressing her center desperately against the lower part of his plastron. He groaned lustfully into her mouth, his heart fluttering with nerves, excited yet anxious about their heightened level of intimacy.

"God I've missed you so much," she breathed as he began kissing her throat.

"I've missed you too," he replied, his voice a low rumble from his desire as he traced his tongue up to her ear and nipped her earlobe.

She was exploding with hunger and lust, wanting to take their relationship further. While their kissing had been rather hot and heavy, it never progressed beyond that, both of them feeling nervous about their obvious differences, and too shy to confront that yet. They seemed to be in a silent, mutual agreement that they'd cross that bridge eventually, and for now they were grateful for the compatibility they shared in simply kissing.

But she wanted to begin crossing that bridge. Driven by her sudden realization of how much she missed him, how much she _wanted_ him, she took matters into her own hands. She basked in the heat of his breath against her neck for a few moments longer until she finally grabbed the bottom hem of her shirt and lifted it up over her head in one swift movement, the only barrier left between them being her pale pink bra, holding her perky breasts hostage, longing to be set free and touched. Donnie gasped at the realization of what she was doing, before he was ambushed again by her hungry lips as she pressed her almost-naked torso against his plastron. He felt panic rising in him when he realized she was reaching behind her to unclasp her bra, and he tried to let out a strangled protest, terrified of where this could lead yet wanting it so desperately, all his fantasies coming to fruition…

Before he could tell her to stop, she interrupted him. "Shhh," she whispered, but took note of the fear in his eyes and paused. "Do you want this?" she asked carefully.

"O-of course," he whispered back. "I just… I don't…" he stammered.

"Please, Donnie, I want this too," she interrupted eagerly, sitting up in his lap to finally free her desperate breasts, releasing them with a soft bounce and tossing her bra to the side. Her dark pink nipples were hard with arousal, and goosebumps sprinkled her pale flesh at the sudden freedom. Donnie went stiff, paralyzed by fear and lust, wanting so badly to touch her but completely unable to move his hands from his sides. He couldn't find words, he couldn't sort his thoughts. He just stared at the glorious perfection displayed before him, all for him, his mouth dry and his cock begging for freedom from his shell. His heart was hammering, his mind was spinning, and finally she reached for his hands and brought them up to cup the soft flesh of her breasts, smiling at him before leaning forward to take his mouth into hers again. A low growl rumbled from his throat, strangled from fear yet dripping with lust as he returned the kiss and allowed his hands to take over, squeezing her soft mounds, taking her nipples between his thumbs and fingers, tugging and gently twisting, causing her to whimper in delight. She brought her own hands back up to his face, pulling him in to deepen the kiss, loving every bit of their heated passion and the new level they had reached. His nerves finally eased, his desire for her naked flesh taking over, and he clutched at her bare back, pulling her up to him as he dipped his head to take one of her eager breasts into his mouth. Explosions detonated inside of him as he tasted her salty-sweet skin, suckling her nipple deep into his mouth, gently pulling it between his teeth and lapping with his tongue.

"Uuuhhhnnnn…" she moaned, leaning back and thrusting her breast deeper against his mouth, her hands dropping to grip at his shoulders. She couldn't keep her hips from rocking, grinding against him in lustful desire, her center growing wetter by the second.

He brought his hands down to grip her firm buttocks, his hands squeezing as his mouth continued to explore her body, his teeth grazing the sensitive underside of her breast and wandering to the ticklish skin on her ribs underneath them, causing her to cry out and writhe as he gripped her ass tighter to him. His mind was a whirlwind of lust and sheer shock that this was really happening to him. He still found himself amazed that she was actually his girlfriend, and now… Now here they were, caught up in raging hormones, a wild and glorious blend of love and desire. As he continued to suckle and nip and kiss his way across her flesh, he drew his hands to her taut outer thighs, then on top of her quads, and then, bravely, to the soft, tender flesh of her inner thighs, where he could feel the maddening heat radiating from her most intimate place, smelling her arousal, knowing it was all for him. He squeezed the soft muscle, his thumbs pressing teasing circles as they crept closer and closer to that warm promised land, her legs still spread wide as they tightened in anticipation around his waist. He paused, so dangerously close, breathing heavily against the skin under her breast, contemplating if it was wise to keep moving forward or if he should reign himself in. She felt her insides screaming at him, desperate for his touch.

"Don't stop," she moaned, finding his mouth again with hers, unable to get enough of him, and she felt him draw in a deep breath as his palms gripped her inner thighs tighter. She gasped as his fingers crept closer, under the loose bottom hem of her shorts, where her skin only got impossibly softer, his mind reeling with the sensation of her, and the disbelief that this was actually happening. Finally, he found the lining of her panties, wet and hot from her desire, and he couldn't help but release a choked growl into her mouth, squeezing his eyes shut tighter, forcing himself to contain his own arousal and not just explode right then and there. His fingers pressed against the tender, insanely soft flesh of her labia through her panties, and he found himself wishing so badly that she had removed the barrier of these clothes as well, wanting all of her, every inch of her, wanting to touch and taste and smell and consume… She cried out a drawn out mewl as he traced his finger down her hot center, pressing against her opening, making her wish too she had been bold enough to remove everything when she had removed her shirt. God she wanted him so desperately. Somewhere in the depths of her mind she still wanted to wait, to hold off on venturing into that great unknown of ultimate intimacy with him, even though the rest of her was consumed with lust and desire so out of control that she was ready to let him take her right there without any further question.

He traced his finger back to the lining of her panties, and was just about to dip his finger underneath them, to finally feel her bare skin against his yearning touch, when his T-phone stopped him in his tracks with an annoying tune that made him want to chuck it against the wall.

They instantly broke apart from the sudden harsh sound, leaving them in almost tangible silence, April still straddling his lap, Donnie's hands still in her shorts, her perfect, naked breasts rising and falling with her panting breath. His own breath was heavy and hot, beads of sweat forming on his brow (how strange that his reptilian form took on that human trait, he randomly thought), as they stared at each other with wide eyes. Donnie swallowed hard, and April reached up to run her fingers through her sweat-tinged hair. Their eyes met once more and April chuckled, her blue eyes sparkling, coaxing out a wide gap-toothed grin that reached his purple-clad eyes. "To be continued, I guess," she laughed sheepishly, reluctantly pulling herself off of Donnie's lap and reaching for her bra and shirt from their forgotten heap on the floor. Donnie let out a sigh and reached for his T-phone and groaned.

 _You guys wanna come hang out?_

"Seriously, Mikey?" Donnie whined, and punched a text back to him.

 _Are you seriously texting me from the common room?_

Seconds later, the same tune sang the announcement of another message from Donnie's phone.

 _Didn't want to interrupt anything! ;-)_

Donnie rolled his eyes, momentarily wondering if Mikey was part psychic too, and looked up at his girlfriend, who was smoothing the wrinkles out of her shirt, which was unfortunately back in position on her previously naked torso. He so did not want that to end, but perhaps it was for the best – he was quickly losing control and wasn't sure he was ready to take things where they were inevitably heading. Donnie sighed and stood from his chair, his knees feeling shaky from their recent excitement. He took her hands and just stared at her for a moment, still in disbelief at how lucky he had gotten, basking in the warmth of the smile she returned to him. He brought his hands up to gently rub her upper arms, bringing them to land on her shoulders and loosely winding his fingers through her hair. He brought the backs of his fingers under her chin and tilted her face to meet his lips in a lingering kiss, before he stood back to look at her once more. "Guess we should go be social," he said.

April laughed. "Let's go," she said with a nod, taking his hand, and together they left the lab for the common room.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N I'm back again! Thanks as always for the comments, follows, and faves - I greatly appreciate it! I've been reading some really deep stuff on here lately, there are a lot of talented writers in the fanfiction world! Makes this look like mindless drivel! Which is okay with me - I'm working on a deeper original fiction so writing about my made-up turtles' adventures is a nice little break for me. Speaking of which, I guess I should be regularly mentioning that I do not own TMNT, right? So let it be known that this statement covers all the chapters that I've forgotten to mention it in before, and all the chapters I will forget to mention it in in the future, that I do not own TMNT, but I do own Autumn and her family. Which is cool because I think she's a super cool chick. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter, Autumn and April get to bond and we get some back story to the origins of April and Donnie's relationship :D**

Chapter 9

Girl Talk

Michelangelo and Autumn were lounging on either end of the sofa when April and Donnie entered the room. They both turned from the movie they were watching to greet them with smiles.

"What were yoooouuuu guys up to?" Mikey asked, his eye ridges wagging under his orange mask.

"Just… working on something…" April replied, trying not to blush, though her terrapin boyfriend's cheeks were already blazing. Autumn stifled a snicker and turned back to the TV, grinning.

"So, what are we watching?" Donnie asked innocently as they both walked into the room. April took a seat between Autumn and Mikey, and Donnie sat on the floor in front of her. She instantly draped her legs over his shoulders as though to use him as an ottoman, which he did not mind in the slightest, swallowing a lump in his throat as he brought his hands up to squeeze her smooth calves.

"The latest X-Men movie," Autumn replied, making it very obvious that she noticed Donnie's response to April's position over his shoulders.

"Cool, I haven't seen this yet," April replied.

"You think there's really mutants like _that_ out there?" Mikey asked, gesturing toward the television as the movie started.

April laughed. "Ya know, I wouldn't be surprised at all if there were," she replied, shaking her head. She noticed Autumn withdraw the new T-phone Donnie had made for her, and punch out a message. She was slightly ashamed for letting her curiosity get the better of her as she nosily glanced at the screen in her peripheral.

 _April and Donnie are rather cozy over here… Makin me wish u were home…_

It wasn't long before a response buzzed back.

 _Wish u were up on this building with me instead of Leo._

April noticed Autumn grin and continued to try not to stare, pretending to be absorbed in the movie.

 _Wish I was on ur lap on this couch…_

 _Buzz_

 _That would just lead to things my brothers wouldn't care to see ;-)_

At this point it was everything April could do to contain herself. _What the hell has been going on between these two?_ She thought. She knew something was up – they all did. Raph and Autumn weren't all too good at hiding their playful banter and flirting. But April was beginning to realize that apparently they were better at hiding things than they thought…

 _Control yourself, big guy._ Autumn punched back, not bothering to hide her wide grin.

 _Buzz_

 _Kinda hard around u._

Autumn snickered, and quickly punched back a response.

 _I like it when things get hard… ;-)_

It was a little longer before her phone buzzed back in response.

 _O yeah…?_

Was all he said. Autumn rolled her eyes.

 _That the best u can come up with?_

 _I can come UP with something u might like…_

Autumn placed her phone down and leaned back into the couch, trying to focus on the movie at this point, but April could notice the nervous fidget in her feet and her heavier breathing. She couldn't contain herself any longer. "Who you talkin' to?" she whispered to her lizard friend.

Autumn glanced nervously at April and then back at the movie, which neither of them were following at this point. Autumn pondered telling April or not, but then decided, what the hell? Might as well. She grinned and shyly replied, "Raph."

April returned her grin. "Isn't he supposed to be patrolling the city?"

"He is," she replied, keeping her eyes on the screen.

April returned to the movie too. "I think you've got a lot to fill me in on…" she whispered.

Autumn grinned, not making eye contact with April. "Yup," she relied, popping the P at the end. It wasn't long before she couldn't help but retrieve her phone and punch a reply back to Raph.

 _Grr… can't wait for u to come home…_

Was the best she could think of. She loved fooling around with sexual innuendos, but got nervous at the thought of _really_ going there. She just wasn't ready, and hoped Raph felt the same way.

 _Buzz_

 _Leave ur door unlocked_

Autumn grinned and put her phone down for good, wanting to commit to watching the movie and prevent any further distractions.

When the movie ended, the four of them casually chatted about their thoughts, until finally Autumn said she was thinking she'd check in for the night.

"Hang on," Donnie said, stopping her. "April got a message from Casey earlier," he explained.

Mikey's eyes lit up, and Autumn just looked curious. "Oh my god, yeah!" April exclaimed. She had totally forgotten about her earlier conversation with their old friend, since things had gotten a bit hot and heavy with her boyfriend and her arousal was on the forefront of her mind. "He's coming to visit this coming weekend!"

"Sweet!" Mikey exclaimed excitedly.

"Who is this Casey, anyway?" Autumn asked, arching a brow at her friends.

"He was originally an old friend from high school," April replied. "But he spent most of his time as a vigilante I guess you would say, which is more or less how he wound up being friends with all of us," she finished with a shrug.

"He's Raph's best friend," Donnie added.

Autumn's brows knit together. "Oh," she responded hesitantly. "He never mentioned him…"

 _Territorial much?_ April couldn't help but wonder about their red masked friend, and she thought back to what Donnie said about Casey possibly hitting on Autumn when he was here. She felt a tug in her heart for Raph, and hoped Casey would know better than to cross that line. She exchanged a glance with Donnie that pretty much confirmed to her that he was thinking the same thing.

"I think he was upset that Casey left us for school," April replied, defending their hotheaded brother.

"Yeah," Donnie added, "it surprised all of us that he even got accepted to MIT, and surprised us even more that he agreed to go, and more or less leave this life behind."

April nodded. "He never applied himself at school, which is actually how he and I met – I was supposed to tutor him. Which I did, but it was all during the Kraang invasion so it's not like we got very far with any of that." She chuckled nervously, trying to make light of their recent traumatic experiences.

"Apparently he was more focused than we thought," Donnie added with a laugh. "I have to admit he's not stupid, though, after getting to spend some time with him in the shop."

Autumn nodded slowly, taking it all in, curious about their vigilante friend that Raphael had failed to mention. She tried not to let it bother her – it's not like she and Raph were actually _dating_ , or in a position where they had some moral code that required them to not keep secrets from each other. She took a steady breath and said, "Cool, he sounds like an awesome guy, can't wait to meet him…"

April noted the undertone in her voice and glanced at Donnie, who seemed to notice the same thing.

Mikey broke in – whether he noticed the underlying tension or not, he didn't let on to it. "He's awesome, you'll really like each other!" he chimed. "He's a lot like Raph, and you're a lot like Raph… so you'll get along great!"

Autumn gave him an acknowledging smile, and April and Donnie exchanged glances again. Donnie cleared his throat and said, "Well, I've got some work to do in my lab yet, then I'll probably head to bed."

April nodded. "I think I'm gonna hang out with Autumn, I haven't gotten to talk to her in awhile." She smiled at her friend. "I could go for some girl talk," she added.

Mikey huffed. "Well I guess I'll go back to watching some _Crognard_ ," he said, getting the "no boys allowed" hint that April dropped. They all said goodnight to each other, and Autumn and April headed back to April's room.

"Alright, start talking," April commanded with a smile on her face as soon as she closed the door behind them.

Autumn grinned and looked up at the ceiling as she fell back on the bed. "Uuuuggghhh," she groaned, "where do I even begin?"

April laughed. "How about at the beginning?" she suggested playfully.

Autumn sat up on the mattress and April took a seat backwards in the chair at her desk, leaning forward eagerly against the backrest.

Autumn ran her hand down the barbs on the back of her neck and began. "I don't know, I guess I decided to take your advice and just roll with it, ya know? So I just embraced the fact that I think Raph is hot and that I'm drawn to him and just went with it, decided to quit being stupid and nervous about it, cuz ya only live once, right?"

April smiled at her. "Well I certainly noticed the lack of nervousness between you two…"

Autumn laughed and brought her legs up onto the bed into a cross-legged seat, then continued, "Yeah… he was still kinda nervous at first, wasn't sure what to do with me, 'cause I was pretty blatantly flirting with him." She chuckled, obviously amused with herself. "Anyway, I guess he decided it was a game or something, and he started playing along. And we kinda… ended up… making out… a lot… that first night we went on patrol together." She looked at April sheepishly, her cheeks flaring.

April grinned, her eyebrows raised. "Nice," she said approvingly, feeling excited for the two of them breaking through those barriers and having a little fun.

Autumn laughed again. "Yeah, it was nice… it was so… _hot._ God, he was out of control and so turned on, which turned me on…" She brought her palms up and pressed her face against them, rubbing her brows and her cheeks. "I'm surprised we haven't gone farther than just making out," she said between her fingers.

April chuckled in response. She loved having girl talk. How long had it been since she's gotten to do this? Way too long, that's for sure. "Are you going to?" April asked, hoping she wasn't prying.

Autumn grinned. "I _want_ to… and I'm pretty sure he does too…" Her grin faded as she looked up at April and met her eyes. "But I'm scared of taking it too far… ya know?"

April nodded in understanding, her thoughts wandering to the memory of Donnie's hands all over her just hours earlier. Autumn continued, "I mean… I don't know what this is… we haven't even really talked about it. We're not, like, an 'item' or anything…" She made quotes in the air with her fingers when she said "item". "That I know of, anyway," she added as an afterthought. She sighed. "And I don't know if either of us want to be… I mean, I'm going to be human again soon." She smiled at the thought. "Part of me wonders if this whole thing is just because I'm a mutant, and he's a mutant, and we're just enjoying having that to share with someone for once." She looked up at April anxiously, as April quietly waited to hear the rest of what Autumn had to say. "I don't know if I'm cut out for the whole human-mutant relationship thing…" she said quietly.

April looked down at her knees, resting her chin on her hands on the backrest of her chair. "It's not easy, I'm not gonna lie…" she replied. She then looked back up at Autumn with sincerity in her eyes, and added, "But for us, it works. And that's all that matters."

Autumn looked down and absently thumbed the fabric of the comforter. She then looked back up at her redheaded friend and asked, "How does it work? If you don't mind my asking…"

April smiled and sat up straighter in her chair. "I would love to talk about it, actually," she replied. "I don't have anyone I can talk to about this, and that's probably one of the hardest things about us. I can't go to school or meet up for coffee with the girls afterwards and exchanged stories about our love lives… And if we get frustrated with each other, I have no one to vent to..."

Autumn's face fell, knowing how hard that must be, wondering if she could accept the same lifestyle.

April brought her attention back to Autumn's question. "We care about each other. And we have so much in common that keeps us busy with things to do and things to talk about. We have fun with each other, and we've been through so much together that we've just developed that bond, of having each other's backs through thick and thin. He's more than just my boyfriend, he's my best friend." April smiled warmly. "Always has been," she finished.

She leaned her chin back on her hands, a dreamy smile coming over her face. "And then… there's something beyond all that… something I can't quite describe… but just a feeling, ya know?" She paused to search Autumn's expression, but all she did was wait, listening. "Like that 'click', that sense of belonging, that sense of completion… that no matter what our differences are, no matter the challenges that come with it, we just belong together. And if I don't listen to that feeling, and follow my heart, then I'll never be complete…"

Autumn went into a thoughtful silence at April's words, still absently gathering the fabric of the comforter between her thumb and finger, careful not to snag it on her claws. She knew that feeling. She wasn't sure if she was ready to say it out loud, as it terrified the crap out of her, but she knew that feeling. She kept the conversation centered on April. "Wasn't it scary to follow that feeling?" she asked, meeting her eyes.

April pressed herself back up again and replied, "Well, _yeah_ , and it took me awhile to wrap my head around it… I mean we were busy with the whole Kraang invasion thing," she waved her hands around as she explained. "So pursuing a relationship was just out of the question for me, even though it was pretty clear Donnie wanted to go there…" She smiled fondly and chuckled. "But I knew I liked him, and I knew I wanted to be with him, and if we made it out alive I'd have to do _something_. I couldn't just ignore it."

Autumn leaned forward, her elbows on her knees, her hands resting at her crossed ankles. "So, how did you tell him?"

April grinned, recalling the memory…

April and Donnie were in the lab, working together to put things back together again from the destruction the lair had ensued during the Kraang invasion. More and more it was starting to feel like home again. The entire group was still shaken from the trauma they had all endured, still mentally processing what they had been through, unable to find words to really talk about it, and instead focusing on rebuilding their home. It had been so long since they'd been able to really not worry about their overall safety. Sure, the Shredder was still after them, but not in the ways the Kraang had been, and knowing that was over was something that was still sinking in. Their morale was picking up considerably though. April being able to reunite with her dad was huge for her, but he signed up for therapy as soon as it was advertised - most survivors did - leaving her with nobody but the turtles for company. Casey had reunited with his family too, and since many clinics and private practices were offering discounted PTSD therapy for the people of the city, his family did the same as April's dad did, without hesitation. The group stayed together, working as a team to rebuild their home.

April's mind was spinning with thoughts and feelings as she and Donnie worked, so many things she wanted to say to him… such as apologizing for leading him on with that kiss back in Northampton… for more or less playing with his emotions, when the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him. To admit she wanted him, but not knowing where to even begin, or even how he felt about her anymore now that everything was said and done. Had he given up on her?

She watched as he screwed shelves back into place, her eyes on the muscles in his arms as they rippled with his movement, not paying much attention to her own task of sweeping up broken glass and shrapnel from the explosions that had happened in there. He must have noticed her staring, and her faraway expression. "You okay?" he asked, breaking her from her trance.

She snapped her head up at him, his voice piercing the silence they had been in for so long. She shook her head and looked back down, paying more attention to sweeping glass shards into a dustpan. "Yeah, sorry, just kinda zoning out…" she replied.

Donnie hesitated, then spoke, "Penny for your thoughts?"

The corner of April's mouth drew up into a half-smile as she continued sweeping. She shrugged. "Where do I begin? We just barely crawled out of the bowels of hell, and we're alive to tell the tale…"

Donnie looked down, his face laced with so many emotions, then returned to focusing on his shelf. "Yeah…" he replied softly. He looked up at her, his expression twisted with what seemed to be an internal struggle, as though he were trying to come to a conclusion. "April, I've been meaning to talk to you about…" he trailed off, processing his words.

"Yeah?" April asked, chewing her lower lip, her brows creased with unease.

Donnie brought his full attention to her, abandoning his task at hand and locking his eyes on hers. They were so blue, so deep… he couldn't help but feel an intense burning love inside of him for her. His lips dropped into a frown, a sense of sadness washing over him at the thought of having to find a way to let that go. He sighed. "About back in Northampton… I've just been wanting to tell you I'm sorry… for playing with your emotions, or, or, whatever it was that was happening…"

April's face fell. "Oh, Donnie, I—"

"No," he interrupted, waving his hands in front of him and holding her gaze. He then dropped his arms and hung his head, shaking it. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better and everything, you know…" he reached up to rub the back of his neck before looking back up to meet her eyes, "after the whole Bigfoot thing…"

"Donnie…"

He interrupted again, holding up a hand to silence her, to let him finish. "I know there were a lot of emotions flying around. We'd been through so much, you especially… _Too_ much. More than any teenager should have to go through. And you offered your home to us, and we made it work together, barely hanging by a thread… We were scared, terrified really… I know I had no idea if we'd make it to see this day." He held his arms out, looking around at the lab they had been repairing, his eyes sparkling with amazement and disbelief that he was even standing there being able to talk about this at all, considering the odds they had against them not so long before. He looked back at her and smiled, "I'm just happy we're alive. I really am. And I want you to know that that's all that matters to me. That we're _all_ alive, and we made it through together." He dropped his gaze to his hands, which were now picking absently at the tape around his knuckles. April waited silently, her eyes filled with sorrow, so eager to speak but wanting to make sure he was finished. "That's all I need, and, and…" he struggled to come up with the words. "And to know that you're happy is all I need too." He met her eyes with sincerity, yet a sense of surrendered sadness. "With _whomever_ makes you happy. I was foolish to think I could keep fighting to be that person. It's your choice, of course. You deserve to be with whoever you chose to be with, and all I want for you is happiness." He dropped his arms at his sides once more, opening his palms in a half-shrug, his eyes glistening yet strong. "That's all." He offered her a genuine smile, though she could still detect the sadness behind it.

Her heart constricted in her chest at his words, a lump forming in her throat. She hated seeing that sadness in his eyes. He was her best friend, she cared for him more than she'd ever cared for anyone before, and in a much deeper way than she cared for the whole group of them, whom she'd considered her family for quite some time now. She felt a sense of belonging with him – something she was too afraid to address during the invasion. Something that needed to wait anyway, her priority being that all of them made it out of this alive. She failed to realize that her lack of addressing her feelings for Donnie, and his obvious feelings for her, could lead to him making assumptions and, ultimately, losing interest in her. Tears welled in her eyes at the thought of losing him emotionally, of having to go on living as just friends. She should have talked to him sooner. Despite what they had been going through, what they had been dealing with, perhaps if he at least knew how she felt, it would have brought a ray of sunshine into the darkness their lives had fallen into.

She had to tell him before it was too late.

"Donnie…" she choked, the tears in her eyes reaching her voice, tightening in her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut, and a tear escaped down her cheek. She opened them, looking deeply into his deep brown eyes as he anxiously awaited what she'd have to say, braced for her to admit her rejection. She took a step forward and reached for his hands, and squeezed his large palms in her delicate fingers. " _You_ make me happy," she said, her voice watery.

They stared at each other for a moment, Donnie's eyes wide with shock, another tear escaping down April's cheek. "W-what?" Donnie whispered, unsure he understood what she meant.

"I'm so sorry I never talked to you sooner," she began explaining, still holding tightly to his hands. "I-I should have said something sooner but I was _scared_ , Donnie, and I had no idea how to handle what was going on inside of me on top of all the shit that was going on in our lives…" She let go of his hands and brought her hands up to press her palms against her eyes, feeling a flood of tears threatening to interrupt her as she tried to pour her heart out to the man she loved.

"S-said what, April?" Donnie asked softly, his heart tugged in so many directions – hating to see her reduced to tears, feeling hopeful at what she could possibly be trying to say, and stomping out that hope, knowing that he couldn't take another single let-down.

April brought her palms up to press against her forehead, revealing wet, red eyes that stared deeply into his, piercing into his soul. She dropped her hands at her sides in surrender. "That I think I love you…" she replied in a low voice.

Donnie's eyes shot open wide. "Y-you _what?"_ he asked in disbelief.

"No, I _know_ I love you, I have for a long time, I just never knew how to say it, or even if I _should_ say it, and now I regret that I never said it sooner, and I'm _so so sorry_ I left you hanging like that, I hate myself for hurting you, the _last_ thing I would ever want to do is hurt you…" The tears were flowing now, and a sob choked out of her, snapping Donnie out of his stunned silence.

"Oh, April…" he said softly, and without a second thought, he pulled her into a great bear hug, holding her tight against him, feeling her chest rise and fall rapidly against his plastron as she gave into her sobbing, letting it all out. He pressed his arms tightly against her back, holding her, stroking her with his fingertips as the other hand reached to the back of her head, his fingers lacing into her hair.

She sobbed and sobbed, bringing her arms up to wrap around his neck and allowing him to hold her. It wasn't just the emotions toward Donnie she was releasing, but everything. She felt it all tumble out of her, her fear and anger and remorse and terror and all the immense strength she had to hold onto through all of it for so long, not having her father there, not having Splinter there, wondering what would ever come of them or of her and her friends or the world they lived in, not getting to properly release all the pent-up emotions she had inside her until now… it all came crashing through her like a tidal wave, and she let it all cascade out of her soul and onto his shoulder, and for once she felt everything could actually be right with the world, being in his arms, the sense of hesitant joy she felt that they were okay, everything was going to be okay, they did it and they made it and…

That maybe Donnie still loved her too?

Her sobbing finally receded into soft cries, then to silent tears, the last of which she wiped with the sleeve of her shirt as she stood up, slowly untangling her arms from around Donnie's neck. "I'm sorry," she croaked with a sniff.

Donnie shook his head. "Don't be," he replied softly, his own eyes moist. He brought his hands to her cheeks and looked deeply into her eyes. His beautiful brown irises were alive with a newly ignited fire, and she felt herself melt at the sight of it. He held her face between his hands, holding her gaze with his eyes, holding her heart with his soul…

She brought her palms up to the backs of his hands and closed her eyes as she basked in the warmth of his embrace against her cheeks. She took a deep breath and her eyes fluttered open again, to see him smiling at her. She let out a great exhale and couldn't help but smile back at him along with allowing a small chuckle to escape her, her smile reaching her eyes and causing Donnie to reveal his adorable gap-toothed grin. She moved forward and leaned her forehead against Donnie's, the fabric of his purple mask brushing her right at her eyebrows, as she traced her hands from the backs of his, up his arms, to his shoulders, and coming to rest at the back of his neck. He copied her, tracing his fingertips along her jaws, lacing his fingers together at the nape of her neck, underneath her red ponytail, his thumb twirling loosely in her hair. They stood like this for a moment, breathing each other in, processing it all, until finally April spoke softly. "Is this going to work?" Donnie met her eyes inquisitively. "I mean… do you still want it to?" she clarified.

Donnie stood back, taking her in, not removing his hands, a gentle smile on his face. "Of course I want it to…" he replied. "I've never stopped loving you." He shook his head and finished, "I don't think I ever could…"

April grinned, feeling tears brimming in her eyes again, only this time with joy and relief. And without any further hesitation, she tightened her grip around the back of his neck, drawing him into her as she pressed her lips against his. After a second or two of shock, she felt him completely relax into her, snaking his strong arms around the back of her shoulders, pressing her against him. _Yes_ , she thought. _Everything is right with the world._

"And… well, here we are today," April smiled as she finished her story.

Autumn had laid down on her side on the bed, her head propped up by her hand, resting on her elbow, a dreamy look in her eyes. She dropped onto her back with her arms at her sides and stared at the ceiling. "God that's romantic…" she mused.

April laughed. "Yeah, it's been better than any human relationship I could have ever imagined… Not that I have any experience…"

Autumn chuckled. "Me neither. I had a few close girl friends, but I couldn't seem to get a boyfriend. I think they thought I was too much of a bitch," she finished with a laugh, not seeming to care.

"That must be why things are working so well between you and Raph," April commented.

Autumn grinned. "Yeah he's got a bit of a temper. But it makes him that much… _hotter_ to me." She threw her hands up to her face, burying her eyes. "Ugh! Why do I find a mutant turtle _hot_?"

April laughed. "Because we've gotten to know their souls," she said softly. "They're _people_ on the inside. Amazing, beautiful, talented, caring, loving, exciting people."

The two girls were silent for a moment, pondering the crazy perfection of it all. "April?" Autumn finally broke the silence.

"Yeah?"

The lizard sat up, her tail coiling around the side of her leg, her hands on the mattress at her sides. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

April felt a little nervous, wondering where she was going with this, and hesitantly said, "Y-yes…?"

"Have you and Donnie… ya know… gone all the way?" Autumn gave her a nervous glance, hoping she wasn't overstepping any bounds.

"No…" April replied, then smiled after a short pause and added, "Not yet."

Autumn grinned. "So that means it's a possibility?"

April raised her shoulders in a prolonged shrug, smiling shyly. "Well… _yeah_ …"

Autumn leaned forward. "But…" she encouraged her to continue.

April sighed. "I guess we're both nervous about it. Not only have neither of us ever done it before, but… we're not even the same species!"

Autumn laughed. "Obviously. But I thought you said that didn't matter?"

April snorted. "It doesn't for the emotional component of the relationship. But…" She rubbed her fingertips across her eyebrows and dropped her hands in defeat. "I have no idea what his penis even looks like…" she hissed, looking around as though she could be overheard, which caused Autumn to laugh. "Seriously!" April retorted, looking exasperated, but stifling a sheepish grin. "Have you ever Googled turtle genitalia?"

This caused Autumn to laugh harder. " _No!"_ she shouted, then added, "Though, I admit, now that I know these guys I've never wanted so badly to type that in a Google search…"

This time April laughed. "Right?!" She shook her head, smiling shamefully. "We're such perverts."

"Eh," Autumn disagreed, leaning back slightly. "We're just horny teenagers in a very unusual situation." Autumn then arched a brow at April. "So, you guys haven't discussed his naughty bits then?"

April shrugged. "No… I mean… I guess we're kinda shy about that. And he seems sorta embarrassed so I don't really press the issue." She then gave Autumn a quizzical look. "Why, have _you_ guys discussed it?"

Autumn's cheeks went red. "It kinda… came up…"

April raised her eyebrows. " _Seriously?"_ she exclaimed. "You guys aren't even dating and you're talking sex?!"

Autumn stared at her knees, absently knocking them together, trying not to feel embarrassed by the fact that April could easily judge her. "Look, it's just flirting. All we've done is made out, but we drop tons of sexual innuendos… and I happened to ask him what's under his shell, turtle or human? And he said 'human enough'… whatever that means..." Autumn shrugged nonchalantly, obviously trying to suppress a grin. April let out a girlish squeak, covering her mouth, which made Autumn laugh and shake her head. "We're a mess…" she admitted, returning her gaze to her knees.

April smiled warmly. "Nah," she replied, then thought better. "Well, maybe a little… But you're having fun! So long as nobody gets hurt…"

Autumn sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of. I don't know where this is going… Hell I don't even know where I want it to go at this point… And I don't know what he wants either. We've gotten so wrapped up in the game of flirting that I'm not sure if there's anything serious going on…"

"Maybe you guys need to have a talk…" April suggested, leaning forward on her chair.

Autumn shifted to tuck one ankle under her other knee. "Probably," she agreed unconvincingly.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N More fun Apritello goodness! I probably have way more fun than what's really healthy while writing this stuff, but hey, I don't get to write these kinds of things in my original fiction so I gotta have an outlet somewhere! Luckily April and Donnie are here to help me out. Casey comes back to visit here, so lots of difficult feelings are stirred up for poor Raph. Reviews are always appreciated - thanks to those who've left reviews and also to those who've favorited and followed me and my story! You guys rock! Enjoy!**

Chapter 10

Hard Feelings

"Hey," Donnie whispered lazily as April crawled into bed next to him.

"I'm surprised you're not in your lab, I looked there first," April said quietly as she snuggled in next to him.

He draped an arm around her as she pressed closer against his plastron. "I've got things pretty much sorted out," he answered. "Gotta let things sit for a few days now. How's Autumn?"

April sighed, smiling. "She's fine, just has a lot of emotions to sort out."

"About Raph?" he asked.

April nodded. "We had a really fun conversation though. I can't decide if her coming into our lives was better for me or for Raph. Sounds like he's certainly having a good time, but…" she let out a happy sigh again and continued, "Oh Donnie, it just feels so good to have a girl friend, someone to talk to about girl stuff, someone who knows I'm in love with a mutant turtle and it's all perfectly fine and almost normal, ya know? I can be myself with her and not hide anything."

Donnie smiled warmly and hugged her to him. "I'm happy for you," he said with sincerity, pressing his lips against her forehead and smiling at her, his eyes sparkling in the dim light of the nightlight plugged into the wall. "I always worried about that, the secrecy of our relationship… It can't be easy trying to act like you're living a normal life but in reality your boyfriend is a mutant reptile in the sewers…"

"Well when you say it like _that_ …" April joked, and Donnie chuckled in spite of himself. They nestled in closer together, almost drifting into sleep, when April broke the silence. "Donnie?" she asked quietly, and he detected a hesitation in her voice that made his heart skip a beat.

"Yeah?" he replied in the same quiet voice.

She took a breath. "Why haven't we really talked about sex?" There, she said it.

Donnie's stomach did a flip. It was a sensitive subject for him – not that he didn't want it, but he was scared of how it would work between them with their obvious differences. And scared of hurting her, or scaring her, or disgusting her… She could tell he grew uncomfortable as he shifted slightly and hesitated. "We… have… haven't we?"

"Not in depth," she replied, hoping to expand on the topic. She traced her finger along the crevices of his plastron.

Donnie cleared his throat. "Um… so… what do you want to talk about?" He nervously traced his thumb on the soft skin of her upper arm, trying to get his nerves to calm down. _It's just April_ , he told himself. _We can talk about this stuff… she loves me… she won't be freaked out…_ He swallowed hard. _I hope…_

April propped herself up on her elbow, her head rested in her hand, her beautiful red hair dangling down in soft cascades kinked from the ponytail she always wore, her blue eyes glittering as she looked down at him lying on the mattress. She thought for a moment and gave a bit of a shrug. "I don't know, I mean… all you've said before was that it'd work, but you never elaborated. I take it it might be… different… from… normal human sex?" She felt herself redden, and was glad it was dark in the room. She hoped she worded it okay, unsure of how to phrase her questions. That's probably part of why she hadn't really brought it up much before, but her conversation with Autumn from earlier had her intrigued.

Donnie averted his eyes from hers, looking down at the matress, looking at his hand stroking her arm, then up at the ceiling. He cleared his throat again. "Um… yeah… I mean my… parts… well… they work like a human male's p-parts…" He finally dared to meet her curious eyes, where he relaxed slightly when couldn't detect any judgement or disgust. "But they're still pretty similar to a turtle's…"

"How so?" April pressed, keeping her voice steady so as not to make him more nervous. He swallowed hard again and she smiled at him, bringing her hand to his face. "Donnie," she looked deeply into his eyes and kissed him softly on his tightly drawn lips. "It's me," she stated, her thumb stroking his cheek. "I've chosen to be with you, I _want_ to be with you, and I understand you're different, and it's perfectly fine with me. It doesn't make you bad or wrong and you're certainly not going to turn me off, okay?"

He sighed. "I just don't want to freak you out. And if – or _when_ – we do get there, I don't want to hurt you…" He brought his eyes back to his hand on her arm, his gaze faraway.

April chewed the inside of her cheek, pondering his words. "Why would you freak me out?"

Donnie took a breath to gather courage. "Because it's located in my tail, which is tucked up in my shell, and not only that but it's a different color, and self-lubricating…" he trailed off, she could tell his cheeks were burning even in the dimness of the night light. "And that is _not_ what a human's parts do…"

"And why would you hurt me…?" she asked, unfazed by his description and wanting to address his other concern.

He swallowed hard again and pressed forth. "Because I'm bigger than a normal human. Not so much that it won't work… but…" he shook his head, "I just don't want to hurt you, and since you've never done it before, I'm sure it will…"

April shrugged. "Well, that's kinda inevitable the first time anyway, soooo…" She offered him a consoling smile, which he thankfully returned.

"Aside from you apparently not being too freaked out… I'm not ready yet… is that okay?" His eyes were big and pleading, which melted her heart. She couldn't help but lean forward and press another kiss to his lips.

"I'm not either, I just wanted to know," she replied, and curled back up to him so that her head nestled underneath his chin. "But I will be ready someday, and I want you to know I want nothing more than to experience it with you."

Donnie sighed peacefully. How the hell did he get so lucky? He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her several times on the head. She grinned, soaking in his affection, her whole body feeling warm and loved. Not feeling ready to go to sleep anymore, and sensing that he was still awake with his own inner thoughts, she spoke again. "Bummer we got interrupted earlier…"

Donnie choked out a nervous laugh, feeling the blood rising to his cheeks again, remembering how bold he'd been. "Y-yeah…" he stammered.

April laughed and looked up at him again. "What?" she asked with a curious smile.

"'What' what?" he repeated a little more bravely.

"You stuttered," She laughed. "What's wrong?"

He licked his lips. "I dunno, I just… feel like I got carried away…"

"Are you embarrassed by this or something?"

"No," he protested, then paused before saying, "Maybe… A little… I've just never behaved like that before…"

April grinned and took his mouth into a languid kiss, feeling more in the mood. "I liked it," she said in a low sultry voice against his lips.

She ignited something inside of him and he grinned against her, feeling that boldness rise inside of him, suddenly wanting so badly to pick up where they left off, and hoping he could keep himself under control. "Oh yeah?" he growled back, daring to bring his hand under her shirt and tracing it up the soft, tender flesh of her belly. He knew she wasn't wearing a bra under the baggy tshirt she was using as pajamas, he couldn't help but notice that earlier, and he took it as an invitation. He brought his hand all the way up to cup one of her breasts, her nipple already erect with excitement. She sucked in a breath and he grinned again, feeling more brave and excited by the second. He took his mouth into hers, and immediately their tongues found each other, dancing and twisting and tasting and their lips pressed and sucked and pulled hungrily. He brought his other hand under her shirt to take the other breast, and in one swift movement she wrested her shirt up over her head, and immediately he took one of her nipples into his mouth, breaking their kiss as she tilted her head back into the pillow. Without questioning, she brought her thumbs into the waistband of her cotton shorts and yanked them down, kicking them off at her feet, and Donnie went rigid, pulling his head away from her breasts to look her in the eyes. God, that look in her eyes, so full of desire and yearning and beckoning… He swallowed nervously and she smiled at him, bringing her hands to his face and pulling his mouth to hers again, meeting him in another deep, passionate kiss. Her heart raced faster as she felt his hand leave her breast and creep down across the soft flesh of her abdomen, pressing his fingers into the soft trimmed hair of her pubis, and he hesitated, breaking the kiss to look her in the eyes again.

"Touch me," she hissed, her voice begging as she tilted her hips upward in desire.

Without a word, he took her lips into his mouth again as he gently cupped her womanhood, a strangled moan emitting from his throat as he felt her warmth and wetness, and a low moan escaping from her own throat as she felt his loving touch against her most intimate part. She adjusted her position so her knees could drop open, inviting him in. At first he tentatively stroked her soft outer lips, before parting her folds and allowing his fingers to move deeper, into the silky wetness of her delicate inner folds. The feeling was maddening, driving her crazy with lust and desire. "Oh god, Donnie…" she hissed from the back of her throat, her breath hot against his lips. He turned his head to deepen the kiss even more, plunging his tongue deep into her mouth, stroking her wet lips before gently inserting one of his thick fingers into her tight center. "Agh!" she cried out, thrusting her hips forward, her fingernails biting into his firm shoulders.

"You okay?" he whispered to her with concern, waiting with his finger in place before moving it.

Her breath was ragged as she waited for the stars in her vision to dissipate. She then nodded frantically, and gasped, "Yes, yes!" before taking his mouth to hers again, and she cried out softly as he pushed his finger in deeper.

His cock begged for release, stirring inside of him, aching to be free, to be touched, and the feel of her taut coiled muscle around his finger only drove him further to the brink of insanity, his throbbing member wanting to feel what his finger was experiencing, but he tried to push those feelings aside, wanting to focus solely on her. He trailed wet, hot kisses down her neck and scooted himself down to more effectively reach her breasts, where he continued to lip and suck, causing her to arch her back to him, fully consumed by desire, her breath bursting forth in panting gasps. He could smell her womanhood, smell her desire, but he held onto the last shreds of control he had in him. He just didn't feel ready to take it further, and he knew deep down that he needed to listen to that part of him, frustrating as that may be given his intense state of arousal. He pulled himself back up to take her lips into his, withdrawing his finger from her moist depths and trailing it up to locate her clit. He searched it out slowly, her breath bated in anticipation as their lips pressed against each other, both focusing solely on what was happening down below. He only had his past teenage curiosity on the internet to guide him through what he was doing, but the images and videos he found there paled in comparison to the real-life experience he was having in his own bedroom. He was slammed with a wave of shock at the reminder that _this was really happening. In his bedroom!_

It didn't take long for him to find her sensitive nub, and she cried out in response when his fingertip pressed against it. He smiled against her, feeling a sense of victory, and began moving his finger in hard circles. She gasped against him and reached down for his wrist, clutching it as she hissed through her teeth, "Softer, slower…" He obeyed, withdrawing his finger to lightly brush against her, drawing small languid circles against her and she shuddered in response, pressing her hips closer to him. He leaned back to get a better angle, and took in the sight of her beautiful naked form sprawled out on his mattress, open and eager for him and only him in this glorious moment. He brought his other hand to her and inserted a finger as he continued stroking her clit with his other hand, and she moaned hotly in response, arching her back and thrusting her hips toward him, her hands fisted into the sheets. He began stroking with his finger, his cock throbbing again once more, yearning to be in his finger's place. Her breathing became heavier, and she brought her hand back to the wrist she had grabbed earlier, this time just touching it, and commanded breathily, "A little harder… faster…" and he did as she said, which sent her writhing into the sheets again. He continued working, and leaned forward to take her breast into his teeth, sucking hard, causing her to cry out. She was almost there. She pressed her hand on his wrist once more, unable to speak anymore, her mind blind and delirious with ecstasy and lust and heat, and he read her actions, pressing slightly harder and moving slightly faster. She writhed and growled through clenched teeth, her head tossed back into the pillow. "Donnie!" she screamed as she felt the build – the calm before the storm as tremors began to softly quake in her, alerting her to a fast approaching climax, and suddenly there it was, crashing into her like a thousand foot ocean wave, sending her falling, falling, far over the edge of ecstasy as her body shook and bucked and she tossed her head deeper into the pillows, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as an animalistic cry came forth from her chest, a new flood of warmth and wetness and desire soaking his finger, causing him to growl in his own lust, his face still pressed against her soft breast. He leaned back slightly and watched her panting in the aftershocks as he withdrew his finger from her and pulled himself up to lie next to her once more. Once her breathing became more steady, she turned her head slowly to look at him. "Oh my god, Donnie…" she sighed, looking deeply into his eyes. "That was incredible…" He smiled broadly and pressed his lips against hers in response. He was speechless. Even without his own physical release, he felt a sense of deep satisfaction unlike anything he'd ever experienced before.

He pulled her in closer to him and brushed her hair back from her ear, bringing his lips to her earlobe, sending shudders down her sides. "I love you," he breathed happily, then pulled back to meet her eyes.

She smiled in response, her eyes sparkling. "I love you too," she replied in a soft whisper, and together, they drifted into a peaceful sleep.

They woke to banging on Donnie's door. Together their eyes snapped open and their heads popped up, feeling disoriented as to what was going on. Donnie smelled something, which didn't take long for him to remember what it was and where it came from. It only took him a moment longer before he realized she was naked, the blankets haphazardly covering her. He grabbed the comforter and tossed it over her, suddenly afraid of whoever was banging on the door barging in on them. April blinked, bleary-eyed, looking around the room. "What the hell?" she murmured, the banging becoming incessant.

"Donnie!" came Raph's voice from the other side of the door. "You ever gonna get up?! You're gonna miss training!"

"I'll be out in a minute!" Donnie yelled back, not bothering to mask his annoyed tone. April began scrambling for her clothes and went rigid when Raph shouted again.

"And April too if you want to join us for training! I know you're in there! And _please_ take a shower before you stink up the dojo, it smells like a fuckin' whore house all the way out here!"

All the color drained from Donatello's face. "Fuck off, Raph!" he managed to say, hoping to sound threatening rather than mortified.

"Oh my god…" April muttered, throwing her hands to her face and shaking her head.

"See ya in the dojo!" Raph responded in a sing-song voice, and they heard his heavy footsteps head back down the hall.

"Uuugghhh," Donnie groaned and began climbing out of bed, "I am _so_ sorry that just happened…"

April finally let out a chuckle. "Guess it was better him than anyone else. He's at least in our boat."

"Doesn't mean we'll hear the end of it," Donnie grumbled, gathering his purple mask, pads and belt to take with him to dress into after his shower.

"I don't care, it was worth it," April said with a grin, turning to face him, blankets still strewn around her. She stretched her arms above her head, freeing her breasts from the confines of the blanket. He tried to suppress the burning arousal creeping into him, and, smiling, leaned over to meet her for a soft kiss.

"I wholeheartedly agree," he replied, stroking her cheek and leaning in to kiss her.

It felt like forever before the weekend finally arrived, which was mostly due to the fact that they were all eagerly awaiting Casey's visit.

They were all gathered in the kitchen, working together to arrange food for the evening, anticipating Casey's arrival at any minute.

"Jones is in the house!" they heard a familiar voice shout from the tunnels, interrupting their light conversation.

"Casey!" Mikey was the first to shout after they all perked up at the greeting, and he dropped everything and ran out of the kitchen, up the stairs and to the turnstiles where Casey was standing, greeting him with a big bear hug that lifted him off the ground.

Casey laughed, his smile reaching his eyes as he patted the over-excited turtle on the back of his shell. "Good to see you too, Mikey," he answered cheerfully.

His eyes met April's and she grinned warmly at her old friend, the sight of him bringing so many memories flooding back to her. His signature hockey mask was riding on top of his head for old-time's sake, though he was missing his collection of sticks and bats assembled on his back that he used to always have at the ready. He grinned back at her, revealing a dazzling smile full of pearly whites that he must have had fixed while he was at school. He looked older and wiser, and more handsome than the testosterone-ridden boy she remembered. "Hey, Red!" he greeted her, just like the old days, and pulled her into a big hug, which she happily returned.

"So good to see you again, Casey!" she replied, and pulled away from the hug to take in the sight of him. "You look amazing!"

He winked at her. "Had to up my game, Red, those college girls are picky!"

She shook her head, smiling. Nope, same testosterone-ridden boy she remembered. He turned to face Donnie, who was at April's side, clasping his hand in a friendly shake and pulling him into a hug. "Hope you're taking good care of her, man," he said to the turtle, smiling at him.

Donnie chuckled. "Wouldn't treat her any other way," Donnie replied, smiling at April.

"Good, or I'll beat your ass," Casey leaned in and threatened, winking at him, and Donnie rolled his eyes.

"Still keeping these guys in line?" Casey asked as he turned to Leo and greeted him the same as he did Donnie.

"As best I can," Leo replied with a laugh. "Not a whole lot I can do most of the time though!"

He then turned to Raphael, who was leaning casually against the wall with his arms folded across his plastron, smiling as he watched his old friend greet everyone. "Buddy!" Casey greeted with his arms wide open, and pulled Raph into a hug that rivaled Mikey's, which only made Raph laugh and shake his head as he awkwardly reached around to pat Casey on the back. Casey pulled back. "Seriously dude, I've missed you. They don't make guys like you back at MIT."

"I would hope not," Raph answered dryly, smiling at his friend. "It's great to see you again, man."

Casey greeted Splinter with a small bow and a hug, and then suddenly turned his attention to Autumn, who had been hiding in the background, wanting to observe first before fully revealing herself to him. Even though logically she knew any friend of the turtle's wouldn't be taken aback by yet another mutant, she still felt self-conscious. But he seemed friendly enough, and rather handsome too if she did say so herself… "And who do we have here?" Casey asked with a broad smile, stepping up to their new lizard friend and reaching out to shake her hand.

She tentatively took his hand in her claw and shook it. "Autumn," she said simply and quickly, studying his eyes.

Casey nodded slowly, grinning, his eyes locked on hers. "Autumn," he said, tasting the word. "You're much easier on the eyes than these bozos," he added with a grin, thumbing at the turtles. "How'd you wind up down here?"

Raph immediately felt the blood rush to his cheeks, about ready to attack Casey and beat him to a pulp, but restrained himself, reminding himself that nobody knew anything was going on between him and Autumn. It was everything he could do to remain calm on the sidelines, watching his best friend flirt with… well, a girl whom he was having a secret fling with… sort of… more or less… Raph's face twisted in confusion as he battled his inner turmoil.

Autumn shrugged. "They rescued me, took me in, Donnie's gonna make me human again, all that good stuff."

Casey grinned. "That Donnie is a pretty amazing guy. So you're human?"

"Was," Autumn replied, her lips pursed off to the side, eyes narrowed. A light came back into her eyes, though, as she added, "Will be again, hopefully…"

April cleared her throat, feeling uncomfortable about Casey's sudden closeness to Autumn, for a great number of reasons. "So, Casey, how's Leah?"

Casey turned to face April, his eyes narrowed and fists clenching. Before he could answer, she said, "Oh, apparently not so good…"

Casey let out a breath. "No. Bitch cheated on me. Soooo we're no longer together."

April's face fell. "Oh, god, Casey, I'm so sorry…"

"Whatever. There's other fish in the sea." He turned back to Autumn and added, "Or lizards, or what-have-you." And he winked. Autumn didn't respond. Raph made a strangled choking sound. April and Donnie exchanged nervous glances.

"Can we eat now, pleeeaaasssee?" Mikey whined. Perfect timing.

They all chuckled at the youngest turtle and began heading toward the kitchen. "I want to hear all about MIT," April commented as they gathered around the table.

Dinner was everything any of them hoped it would be. Raph finally relaxed a little when Autumn sat next to him and not Casey, and no more signs of flirting happened between the two of them for the remainder of dinner. Having the whole group together gave everyone a sense of peace and togetherness, like everything was right with the world. Even Autumn could feel the sense of belonging, as though she'd been with them forever rather than just a matter of weeks. Casey told stories about MIT, adding how he wouldn't be there if it weren't for April's tutoring. To which she insisted he had it in him all along, he just needed help uncovering it. He was considering becoming an entrepreneur, but simply because he wanted a sense of flexibility, as he wasn't sure his days of being a vigilante were over.

As Casey carried on, Raph began to zone out into his own thoughts. Like how it must be nice to be Casey Jones. To have options, and a future full of possibilities. He can live – go to school, build on his talents and skills, while at the same time still save the world by night. If he chooses to. The five of them down here in the sewers? They don't really have a choice. They're stuck saving the world, because that's about all they're good for, on top of that a world in which nobody knows they exist, and would be terrified to find out they do. And then Autumn comes along and shines a little light into his life. Just like April did for all of them – especially Donnie. But soon Autumn would leave too. Which is something he more or less already accepted, but could he stomach it if she left with his best friend? Raph stole a sideways glance at Autumn. She was listening intently to Casey's stories, smiling and nodding appropriately, but was she _really_ interested? Like, in _him?_ He couldn't tell. He looked back down at his plate of food, which he had only been picking at.

Autumn would be human in less than a week. She'd be leaving. Raph frowned at the table. _I need to get over her now, before I get hurt any worse…_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Hey guys! Thanks again for the reviews and for all you new readers who've favorited/followed my story! You guys are great! I've been preoccupied with my original fiction and kinda slacked off on playing with this one, but finally got the chance to update. Things aren't getting much better for our friends, communication really is key! Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 11

Confusion

It was her last week as a mutant. If Donnie is successful, she will be human again. Something she never dreamed was possible just a mere month prior.

So much had happened... She found new friendships, she found a new family, and she experienced these things in ways she never imagined before. She gained confidence, self-respect, and trust in ways she never thought possible... April turned into a friend more valuable than any friend she'd ever had in her human life. And Raph... Well, then there was Raph...

She lied awake on too many occasions thinking about Raph... Staring blankly at the ceiling, enveloped by the smooth sheets and soft mattress and the silent darkness of the room, dimly illuminated by a small nightlight in the corner, her mind would wander to some of the more heated moments between her and the turtle in red. Her body grew hot with desire, a wetness between her legs, and she found herself fantasizing about him in ways beyond what they had already explored with each other.

 _I'm going to be human soon_... she thought, squeezing her eyes shut. Was she okay with the whole interspecies relationship thing? She wondered how Donnie and April were able to make it work... Would she still be attracted to Raph when she was human? How is that even possible to be attracted to someone who isn't even human? Maybe she was only attracted to him because her own reptilian mind was making that happen... Though she was a lizard, not a turtle… Does it work like that?

Her brows furrowed as a thought entered her mind. _Casey is human... And he has no qualms about flirting with me... is he attracted?_

Casey... She definitely found _him_ attractive... And she was really digging the bad-boy persona hiding behind the appearance of a dedicated and very intelligent student.

 _But what about Raph? Is he interested in me on a deeper level? Or is this just a game, a stupid pastime, for both of us?_

She felt a tightness in her heart that she couldn't quite place. But a realization came over her like a stab in the stomach _... I should have talked to Raph a long time ago..._ But they were too far gone, and Autumn was laced with too many tumultuous and confusing emotions that she wouldn't even know where to begin even if she did talk to him.

She groaned as she pressed her palms to her face. She had no idea what she wanted. She had no idea what anyone else wanted. She had no idea what was happening. She really needed to get some sleep...

Casey randomly popped into the lair for visits throughout the week. He joined the brothers for patrol as often as he could, loving how it made him feel so at home. He especially liked trying to sneak in time with Autumn, who at first seemed to blow him off, but more and more she was warming up to him. She laughed at his jokes, she teased back, she'd playfully slap him on the arm. He'd randomly chuck hockey pucks at her, which she would either dodge or catch in the knick of time with the tip of her tail, stopping it mid-air and whipping it back at him like a sling shot (which, 9 times out of 10, would hit him). Like the others, he was impressed by her agility, her reflexes, her strength, and her stealth. It was inspiring. And the way she held herself was so poised with grace that she just emanated a sort of beauty that both excited him and scared him. Not to mention confused him.

He visited April one afternoon during one of her shifts at the coffee shop, which she was working at more and more now that school was out. It was a little hole in the wall, quaint but full of personality and charm, especially when it was packed on beat poetry night or when they invited singer/songwriters to come perform. April's favorite thing about working there, however, was that it was positioned conveniently above the lair, so that all she had to do was sneak into the alley after work and hop down through the manhole.

Casey absently swirled the straw in his soda as April tended customers, watching him out of the corner of her eye. Finally, the flow of patrons receded slightly and she was able to snag a moment to interrogate Casey.

"Alright, what's up?" she pressed, rubbing the inside of a blender clean with a towel, her red apron spotted with splashes of water.

Casey didn't look up at her, still lost in thought. Did he even hear her? She leaned in closer. "Hey!" she said more assertively, finally breaking Casey from his trance. "What's goin' on?" she asked once he made nervous eye contact with her.

Casey shook his head, thought for a moment, sighed, and answered, "I finally get it."

April arched an eyebrow at him. "Get what?" she questioned.

He looked into her eyes, considering his words, then spoke, "I get how you can be attracted to a mutant." April's eyes widened, her brows rising, but before she could say anything, Casey continued. "I mean, I never understood it before. Like, Donnie is an awesome dude and you deserve to be with a guy like that. But the attraction thing is what I never understood. He's..." Casey looked around, not wanting to be overheard, and lowered his voice, leaning in closer. "He's a turtle. A reptile. He has scales and a shell, for Christ's sake." He held April's gaze for a moment, but she silently waited for him to proceed, her expression stoic. He sighed and with a shrug, then said, "I just never understood how you could have chosen him over me. Not that I would have been a good choice, and I realize that now, but I'm at least human. And still, after Leah came along and I knew for certain I was over you, I still cared about you, and couldn't understand how you could be happy living a life of such secrecy, dating a mutant in the sewers, never being able to openly date or introduce him to your friends. And I care a lot about Donnie, and I worried that someday you'd get sick of that life and he'd get hurt..."

April frowned, placing her overly clean blender bowl back in its place, then grabbed another one from the sink to begin drying. "I love you and all, and I appreciate your concern, but that's kinda none of your business." Casey didn't respond to that, instead just continued swirling his straw in his cup, the ice cubes clattering softly against each other as he stirred. April battled internally as to whether she should say something about Raph and Autumn's little fling. But would she be overstepping her bounds? Didn't they want that to remain private? Her thoughts were cut short by a small group of friends coming in to get iced coffees and sandwiches. Casey silently waited for April to finish, mulling thoughts over in his head while she worked.

When her customers were served and seated, April returned to Casey, prepared to say more and try to hint around that he'd be stepping on his best friend's toes by trying to pursue something with Autumn, but he spoke first. "I guess I'm overthinking things, huh?" He met her eyes again, and she gave him a bit of a half shrug, about to speak but he beat her to it again. "I'll be heading back to Boston in a couple of weeks anyway, so what good would it do me to try to get anywhere with her?"

April nodded. "Right," she agreed, finally getting her turn to speak. "Besides, Autumn has a lot on her plate anyway. She's about to turn human again. That's huge for her! And for all of us. On top of that, she needs to start thinking about reuniting with her family and friends. That's going to take some thought, I mean, she can't just show up after having been missing for a year and not have an explanation as to where she's been." A few more customers came in, and April was once again taken away from their conversation, leaving Casey to his own thoughts again.

As she filled a blender to prepare a frappuccino, Casey said, "Sounds to me like Miss Autumn needs some stress relief."

"Casey-" April started, a concerned look on her face as she met his eyes while running the blender.

He cut her off as though he didn't even hear her start to speak. "I can at least have a little fun, right?" He gave her a devious grin. "She seems a little interested, I should at least try to see where it goes. It could end up being a fun two weeks!"

April felt like her heart stopped. This would crush Raph. "Casey, I gotta-" but she was interrupted by several more customers coming in, quickly followed by Casey giving the counter a cheerful knock as he stood up to leave.

"I'll let ya get back to work, Red. Thanks for the chat!" And just like that, he was gone.

April watched him leave, feeling sad and hurting for her mutant friend. "I gotta warn you about Raph..." she said softly to his back as it disappeared out the door. Her customers stepped up to the counter, and she had no choice but to put her concerns on hold.

Casey came back to visit the Hamato clan the next day just after they finished training. He caught the tail end of Autumn sparring with Mikey, which was quite the performance. She flipped and dodged and disarmed him before he knew what hit him, and she did it with a wild grin on her face. Kicks, punches, more flips, and suddenly Mikey was forced prone on the dojo floor, Autumn's foot on his face, smashing the other side into the tatami mat, his arm twisted painfully behind him as she held it tightly in her claw, and for good measure, as though that weren't enough, she looped her tail around his ankle and, with a loud guttural yell, she yanked hard so that his body flipped hard to the other side, where she victoriously planted a foot on his plastron, still smiling.

Mikey moaned, dropping his head back behind him. "Uuugghhh, Dragon Warrior Princess one, Mikey zero... ooohhh..."

Autumn laughed and took her foot off of him, extending a hand to help him up. She turned to Donnie, grinning. "Any way you can tweak that retro-mutagen so I can keep my tail? I'm gonna miss this thing..." She gave it a few playful swishes behind her.

"Might as well just stay a lizard then," Raph casually suggested, and she eyed him suspiciously.

"Thought about it," she answered with a shrug, causing all four of them, Raph especially, to wonder whether or not she was kidding... She then clapped her hands together. "So, who's next?" she grinned at the four exhausted brothers, none of them volunteering.

"I believe that is enough for one day," Splinter cut in, calling their training to a close. They all bowed without argument and made their way to the door. Raph was the first out, and the first to encounter Casey, who had been silently observing from the sideline.

"Hey," the red-clad turtle greeted his friend, trying to hide the hesitation in his voice.

"Hey!" Casey greeted, giving him a playful smack on the shoulder. "Did she take you down like she did Mikey and I missed it?"

Raph rolled his eyes and was about to speak until Autumn answered for him. "Usually!" she exclaimed, a note of cockiness in her voice.

"We should spar sometime!" Casey suggested with more enthusiasm than Raph cared to hear. He let out a low grumble, his eyes shooting daggers at Casey, but Casey was none the wiser to his friend's attitude.

Autumn did that thing with her hip again, jutting it out to the side as she folded her arms across her chest, giving him an incredulous look. Raph did not like the look in Casey's eyes and the grin that came over his face in response to Autumn's stance. The blood was rising into his face, but Autumn responded, "What, you a glutton for punishment or something?"

"Yeah, man, if we can't take her, she'd mop the floor with you!" Mikey exclaimed in passing as he walked by them out of the dojo, most likely on his way to the kitchen. He stopped and turned to face them, seeming as though he wanted to say more.

Casey laughed. "Sounds like it could be fun!" he answered, and that was it, Raph couldn't take it anymore. Before he exploded, he turned on his heel and stormed out in the direction of his room. Casey's brows knit as his nose wrinkled, watching Raph leave in his fit of rage. "Geez, what's eatin' him?" Casey wondered out loud.

Autumn bit her lip as she watched Raph disappear down the hall, unsure of how to interpret his behavior, or how she felt about it. "I... I'm not sure," she responded unconvincingly.

"It's Raph, you should know that by now, Casey," Mikey quipped with a chuckle. "By the way," he added, facing Autumn, "I've decided to throw you a 'Last Day as a Lizard' party!" His grin took over his face as he playfully nudged her arm with the back of his fist.

Autumn couldn't help but grin back. "Aw, Mikey, you're too sweet!"

Mikey puffed out his chest and grinned proudly. "I know," he said with his eyes closed, endearingly arrogant in a way only Mikey can be. "One of us has to be the sweet one, right?" he added when he opened his big blue eyes. "Anyway, party, night before Donnie finishes the retro-mutagen, here," he pointed his finger down, then turned to face Casey and directed his finger at him, "and you better be here too!" He began to bounce down the hallway. "It's gonna be epic!" he added over his shoulder.

They both watched as he cheerfully made his way to the kitchen. "Sounds fun!" Casey said with a chuckle as the youngest turtle disappeared around the corner. He then turned his focus back to Autumn, grinning at her. They were alone now - Master Splinter had gone back to his own quarters to meditate, and the rest of the boys had gone their separate directions throughout the lair. Autumn met Casey's eyes, feeling a bit uncertain, the dim, damp cinder block hallway they were standing in feeling suddenly oppressive. He brought his hand up to the back of his neck. Was he nervous about something? She chewed the inside of her cheek and waited. "So, I, uh..." Casey started, Autumn swallowed. He was starting to make her feel a bit nervous now... "I was wondering, when you're human and can go out in public again without terrifying anyone, maybe you'd want to grab lunch with me sometime?"

Autumn lowered her brow ridges at him, dropping her arms at her sides. "Gee, that was romantic..." she answered dryly.

Casey laughed. "I'm not exactly the romantic type..." he answered, then flashed her a toothy smile and added, "But I can show a girl a good time!"

Autumn rolled her eyes, but offered him a half-smile nonetheless. "I don't know, Casey… I'm not really in a good place in life to be dating anyone… I kinda need to focus on being human again, ya know?"

"It doesn't need to be a date, just hang out!"

Autumn narrowed her eyes. "That's a date."

Casey sighed. "Look, all I was thinking is that you seem like a really awesome girl, I'd love to get to know you better, and it'd be great to have someone to hang out with who knows about these guys down here. It's hard to keep that a secret."

Autumn felt her chest tighten. He had a good point… But…

Casey waited expectantly, and Autumn glanced around the hallway, averting her eyes from him. She sensed a presence. Was somebody eavesdropping? She looked back at Casey and sighed sympathetically. "Look, you seem like a cool guy and all, and I appreciate your efforts, but…" She gave him a helpless look and shrugged her hands out to the sides, "I just can't." And before he could say anything else, she turned and ran down the hall.

Raph heard it all. He swiftly made his way back to the kitchen before Autumn could notice that he had been standing there listening, and busied himself by rummaging in the fridge as though that's what he were doing the entire time.

"Hey," Autumn greeted as she came into the kitchen. Her heart was in such a confused mess. A very attractive human boy just asked her on a date, and didn't even care that she's a freaking lizard. How often will she ever come across a guy like that again?

Yet… he didn't make her feel the way Raph made her feel. And in her state of confusion, all she wanted was some physical contact with Raph.

"Hey," he grunted from the fridge as he stood up with an Orange Crush in his hand. She approached him from behind and playfully dragged a hand across his carapace, and he instantly pulled away from her. _What the fuck?_ She thought as she stared at him with hurt and confusion.

He left for the common room without another word, without even making eye contact with her. "Raph…?" she started. What is going on? Before she could let the pain fester in her chest, her instincts kicked in and she went into protection mode. _No,_ she thought. _Fuck him and his moody problems, I don't have time for that shit._ It's not like he's her boyfriend anyway. They're nothing. It was just a fling, and they never even talked about it with each other, so why should this be any different? Apparently he's done and over her. Apparently he just wants to end their fling early. Fine. Just fine.

She stormed out into the common room to join the others, and sat as far away from Raph as she could. He was positioned on the edge of the sofa, staring intently at the TV. Mikey was, as usual, lying prone on his beanbag on the floor a little too close to the TV, and Leo was sitting in his own beanbag not far from him. Casey was in a chair, his arms folded across his chest, seeming to stew in his own thoughts. Donnie was on the other end of the sofa from Raph, studying the mood of the room, unsure of what to make of it, but not getting a good feeling about it, whatever it was. Autumn positioned herself on the last empty chair and crossed her own arms over her chest, leaning back.

Leo looked up at her from his seat on the bean bag. "Hey! Want to patrol tonight?" Leo asked.

She gave him a halfhearted shrug and trained her focus on the TV, even though she didn't really care what was on.

Leo cleared his throat. "Okay… I was thinking you and Raph could go…"

"I went out last night," Raph protested, and Leo looked back and forth between the two of them, feeling a bit confused.

At that moment, April entered the common room. "Hi guys!" she greeted cheerfully.

Leo looked up at her. "Oh hey April! Don't have to work today?"

Donnie flashed a gap-toothed grin at her, which she immediately returned. She thought she heard a low grunt from Raph, but wasn't sure.

She shook her head as she sat down on the couch between Raph and Donnie, placing her hand on Donnie's thigh and giving it an affectionate squeeze. "Not tonight, thought I'd come hang out with you guys. Who's patrolling tonight?"

"Not me," Autumn said, looking apologetically at Leo. "Sorry, Leo, just not in the mood." She offered a shrug and a half smile.

"Oh," Leo responded, wondering if there was more going on that he wasn't aware of. Raph didn't avert his eyes from the TV, remaining silent.

April exchanged an inquisitive glance at Donnie, who just shrugged in return, as if to say, "I have no clue what the hell is going on here." All April could assume was that something transpired involving Casey, and having something to do with the very one-sided conversation he had with her at work the day before. She cleared her throat. "Um. I'll go with Raph," she offered, and everyone looked at her. She shrugged. "It's been awhile since I've gotten to go out. I'd kind of like to again."

Leo nodded. "Sounds good. April and Raph it is."

Donnie stood up, announcing, "I'll be in my lab, I want to check on the retro-mutagen."

"I'll join you," April said, standing with him. She turned to Raph. "I'll meet you in about a half hour, sound good?"

Raph's eyes remained focused on the TV. "Yeah, whatever," he answered. April just shook her head and followed Donnie back to his lab.

" _What_ is going _on?_ " Donnie asked as soon as they were behind closed doors.

"Ugh!" April groaned in reply, pressing her palms to her forehead. "Casey has the hots for Autumn. He stopped by the coffee shop yesterday and told me all about it."

"Ha!" Donnie exclaimed, pointing both fingers at April and grinning. "I _told_ you that would happen!"

"This isn't funny, Donnie!" April answered in exasperation. "Besides, I honestly don't think Casey would be hitting on her if he knew what had been going on between her and Raph."

Donnie rolled his eyes. "Didn't stop him before."

"Come _on_ Donnie." April's eyes were filled with despair, which tugged at Donnie's heart.

He stepped up to her and took her hands in his. "Sorry, guess I just have some old resentment coming up to the surface." He offered her an encouraging smile. "There may be nothing we can do," he said with a small shrug. "We can't meddle in their business. If Raph really cares about her, he needs to step up and _say_ something."

"He doesn't know what he's doing!" April exclaimed, letting go of his hands and throwing hers in the air, her desperation to help her friends rising higher. "He has a hard enough time handling his own emotions, now that someone else is added to the mix he's just headed for a train wreck! Someone needs to help him!"

Donnie considered her for a moment, a contemplative look in his eyes, his lips pursed. "Whiiiich is why you volunteered to go on patrol with him tonight," he concluded, still eyeing her steadily.

April smiled. "You truly are a genius," she teased, planting a kiss on his lips. He softened at the contact, returning her smile.

"Fine. I guess we're all a little socially… compromised… Just don't cross any boundaries, okay? They really do need to figure this stuff out on their own." Donnie shrugged, then added, "In my humble opinion."

"I won't cross any lines," April answered, winding her arms around his neck and pulling herself into him. "I promise." His hands found her hips, and she leaned in for a more lingering kiss this time, breathing in the smell of him, woodsy and citrusy and tangy all at once, she could almost taste it. Without another thought, she pushed her tongue into his mouth where she met his, and they deepened the kiss, his hands rising up to her back as she played with his mask tails dangling at the back of his neck.

Finally, he pulled away, smiling warmly at her and leaning his forehead against hers, his deep brown eyes boring into hers, melting her very core. "I hope all of my brothers can one day experience this…" he whispered to her. "I still can't believe how lucky I am to have you…"

She kissed him again. "I'm pretty lucky myself," she answered. "As crazy as this whole thing is, as crazy as life is, I couldn't imagine spending it with anyone else. We just… fit… ya know?" She smiled at him, her bright blue eyes alight with love and passion.

He nodded against her forehead. "I know," he answered softly with a smile. He leaned back and sighed, then said with a nod toward the door, "Now go help my stupid brother."

April chuckled. "Wish me luck…"

"You'll need it…"

And after one last kiss, she headed toward the door.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Back again! This chapter is a bit shorter than the others, hope you don't mind! Autumn has some work to do sorting through her emotions, and Splinter's insight was just what she needed. Thanks as always for the reviews - they are greatly appreciated! And for the new favorites and follows! I hope you're all enjoying the story!**

Chapter 12

Confronting Feelings

April and Raph leapt from building to building, stopping occasionally to eye the streets below, looking for anything suspicious, but everything seemed normal and quiet that evening.

"Slow down, Raph, you know I'm not that fast!" April shouted breathlessly as Raph ran off ahead of her again.

"Just trying to keep distance!" Raph responded from over his shoulder, not slowing down. "You stink like Donnie!"

"Uh!" April gasped in offense, skidding to a halt as she watched Raph fly over to the adjacent building, her mouth hanging open from the insult. "You ass!" she shouted at him, and ran to catch up, leaping over to join him. "You're just _jealous_ because your brother actually has a relationship and all you've got is a confusing _mess!_ "

Raph spun to face her, his eyes flashing angrily, and she took a step back without even thinking. "Stay the fuck out of it, April," he growled at her.

She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward toward him. "What, am I not allowed to care about my friends? And offer my advice when I see them royally fucking up?" she asked him evenly, holding his eyes. She thought she noticed a bit of a falter in his gaze, but he didn't move.

"You don't know what's going on, so your advice doesn't matter," he responded lowly, and he turned his back to her and began walking away.

She threw her arms out to her sides and replied, "You're right. I don't know what's going on." She took a step forward and continued, "But I _do_ know that she likes you, and has feelings for you, and that she's just as confused about them as you are." He slowed down his pace until he came to a stop. He kept his back to her as he looked out across the city. She carefully approached him, not wanting to get too close, but still close enough to really connect. "All the more reason to talk about it…" she finished, her voice soft.

"There's nothin' to talk about," he answered quietly, his voice level.

"Yes there is, of _course_ there is," April retorted, trying to keep her voice compassionate yet assertive.

He finally met her eyes. He was done. He didn't want to discuss this any further, not just with her, but with anyone. Only way to get her off his back was to give her what she wanted. "It was just a stupid fling, okay?" he stated, willing to open up enough to hopefully shut her up. "She's interested in Casey, and he's interested in her, and when she's human again they'll be able to go on _real_ dates and have a _normal_ relationship." He sighed sadly and looked away again, staring across the cityscape as it sparkled against the night sky. "She deserves that. She's been stuck dealing with her mutant life for a year and she was miserable, she doesn't deserve to keep dealing with more mutant shit after she's finally human again."

He started to walk away until April spoke. "She deserves what she wants, Raph, and it's not your place to make that call for her."

He stopped again and looked over his shoulder at her. "Oh yeah?" he replied, his voice sounding aggravated as he struggled to keep his anger down to a low simmer. "I thought you said she was confused about what she wants?"

"Which is why you need to _talk—"_

"Which is why I have every right to make that call for her. She's better off with a human, and I couldn't think of a better one for her than Casey. So," he threw his hands up in defeat, "she can have him." He began walking away from her again, and before he broke into a run, he finished with, "That's all I've got to say." And he leapt over to the next building and took off into the shadows.

April watched him run, feeling slightly defeated, yet hoping she at least stirred up some thoughts in his stubborn head. She sighed sadly, not sure what to expect to come of her friends' situation. She decided not to follow him, and instead began walking back toward the lair on her own. He could finish patrol by himself.

Meanwhile, Autumn sat in her chair in the common room, stewing over her thoughts, listening to Casey try to make friendly conversation with her, but she was only half listening as she stared blankly at the TV. Her arms were crossed over her chest, one scaly leg crossed over the other as it bounced randomly in the air. Finally, she interrupted Casey's chatter, uncrossing her legs and said apologetically, "Sorry, Casey, I've got a lot on my mind. I think I'm gonna see if Master Splinter has any tricks to… quiet my mind… or whatever."

Casey didn't respond, and Leo glanced over at her curiously. "Everything okay?" Leo asked.

Autumn shrugged. "I really don't know," she answered. "Catch you guys later." And she made her way toward Splinter's quarters.

She found him deep in meditation, and she quietly stood at the doorway watching for a moment, not wanting to enter the room and disrupt him. She remained concealed by the shadows of the hallway and observed – he was so still, so silent, she could barely tell he was breathing. She never got much into the whole meditation thing. She'd tried it a time or two, but she became too discouraged by her mind wandering so much. She could never achieve that inner peace. She felt slightly envious of their sensei, and how masterfully he achieved that tranquility and quiet. She wished she could know what that felt like, especially now.

"You may come in, if you wish, Autumn," Splinter suddenly spoke, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade, yet the rest of his body remained as still as though he hadn't spoken at all. Autumn jumped at the sound of his voice. How did he know she was there? She always prided herself on her stealth, she felt certain she was fully concealed and silent this time.

She took a hesitant step forward. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, I didn't realize you knew I was here…" she rambled.

Splinter brought up a hand to silence her, and opened his eyes, turning his soft gaze to her. "You hide yourself well, Autumn. But I have skills to sense one's presence. One cannot hide that." He gestured for her to have a seat in front of him. "Come, join me. What seems to be troubling you?"

Autumn sighed and walked toward him, taking a seat cross-legged on the floor to face him, her tail curled around her on the floor. She fumbled with her hands in her lap for a moment, then spoke, "It's kind of stupid, I guess…" She studied the claws at the end of her fingers, suddenly realizing she didn't want to make eye contact with him.

"I don't believe there's anything stupid about something that's genuinely troubling you," Splinter replied. "Perhaps you are embarrassed to confront it?"

At that, she looked up to meet his eyes, her brows knit together, her lips drawn tight. "I don't know if it's _that_ , really…" she replied. She looked away and shrugged. "Confused is all. And probably overreacting. Which makes it stupid…" She dropped her gaze back to her hands in her lap.

"Let me see…" Splinter said thoughtfully, then continued, "It seems as though one of my sons has taken an interest in you. And perhaps you have taken an interest in him. But your differences have you both feeling hesitant. Added to that, a certain human has entered the picture, and you do not know where your heart lies."

Autumn looked up at him, their eyes locking, his kind and waiting, hers incredulous and searching. "You're good…" she breathed, to which Splinter just kindly smiled.

"Matters of the heart are certainly not stupid, Autumn," Splinter insisted. "What _is_ stupid, however, is not _following_ your heart."

"But I don't know where it wants to go!" Autumn exclaimed, finally feeling her barriers open up, feeling more willing to tell him everything, hungry for his advice and wisdom. "I'm a human trapped in a mutant body! I've been considered a freak and have had to hide and fear for my life for over a _year_ and then along comes these other mutants who are kind and friendly and _fun_ and _welcoming_ , isn't it inevitable that I'd _fall_ for the one who jumped to my rescue? I feel like I'm just fooling myself – am I only interested in him because he carried me down here? And he's a mutant and so am I so it just works? If there were no such thing as retro-mutagen, I'd probably pursue something with him! But no, I get to be _human_ again. Something I'd never dreamed was possible! I get to go back to my old life! But I _can't_ if I have a mutant boyfriend in the sewers!" She stopped, though she held herself as though she had more to say.

Splinter tilted his head forward. "However…?" he encouraged.

Autumn sighed and looked down at the floor. "However. I do like him. Certainly as a friend. But maybe more, I don't know. And I like the way he smells. And I like the sound of his voice. And I like the way he makes me feel when he just _looks_ at me, and especially when he smiles." Autumn couldn't help but smile a little at the thought. Splinter smiled softly in return, waiting for her to continue. She looked up to meet his eyes again. "I want so badly to go back to my normal life. To be with my family and friends again, to go to school again, all that _normal_ stuff. Yet… I can't imagine life without him in it… or without any of you guys in it, for that matter. So I guess, no matter what, my life will never go back to being what used to be 'normal'." She dropped her gaze again, trying to process her thoughts.

"That is life, Autumn," Splinter spoke. "Life is full of changes, and when change happens, your perception of 'normal' has to change too. We are all constantly creating new 'normals'. When we start a new school, when we meet a new friend, when we take up a new hobby, when we lose a loved one – all these things change what we once considered 'normal', and nothing will ever be what it once was. We must adapt and move forward, settling into our new normal, until something else comes along to change it again."

It was a comforting thought, in a way. Autumn nodded in understanding, contemplating his words. A new normal… Reuniting with her family and friends. Still getting to come to the lair to visit her new friends. Her rescuers. If April could make it work, she certainly could too, right?

"How do you feel about Casey?" Splinter asked, his voice gentle and compassionate.

Autumn twisted her lips to the side. "I like him, I mean he's attractive and seems nice and like a lot of fun. But… I just don't feel _drawn_ to him like I do with…" her voice trailed off as she felt her cheeks grow warm.

"Like you do with Raphael?" Splinter finished softly, smiling.

The blood rose hotter in Autumn's cheeks. "Yes…" she muttered, feeling embarrassed. Should she be having this conversation with her possible love interest's father? After the hot and heavy fling they'd been having, especially? She'd be mortified if he knew anything about that…

Splinter gave a soft chuckle. "No need to feel ashamed, Autumn. Love is a beautiful thing."

Autumn rolled her eyes. "I don't know if _love_ is exactly the right word for it."

"Perhaps things will make more sense when you are human again?" he suggested.

Autumn nodded as she thought about this. She pictured herself as a human. Human hands, human skin on her human body, no tail, no claws, no scales… Long dark hair falling over her shoulders instead of barbs and spikes. A small, round nose on her face rather than a jutting snout. Eyebrows and eyelashes on her gray-brown eyes. And a world of possibility opened up to her. Not having to hide, not having to fear. Getting to be with her parents and siblings again, getting to hang out with her friends again. Visiting the lair in a body she's comfortable with. In a body that's _hers_. She suddenly thought about Splinter, a human trapped in the form of a rat.

"Sensei," she began, looking up to meet his eyes. "Why did you never use the retro-mutagen? Why didn't you take the opportunity to be human again?"

Splinter smiled, looking thoughtful, then replied, "I have grown to accept this as my true form. I had lost everything from my old life – everything that ever meant anything to me. All I had left were my skills and knowledge from my ninjutsu training, and my humanity. And that is something that can thrive no matter what vessel it's in. My sons know me in this form. I have no desire to live a human life. My place is here with them." He paused to shrug, then continued, "This is my normal." He smiled kindly at her as she studied him, pondering his words. He then added, "True self-love is accepting yourself for your appearance on the outside, and knowing that what matters most is what's on the inside," he placed his hand over his heart. "In your heart," he moved his hand to tap a finger against his temple, "and in your mind. And loving yourself for everything that you are, inside and out."

Autumn smiled. She could finally relate to that feeling, and she had Raph to thank for that. He made her feel sexy, he made her feel lovable, he made her feel invincible, and he brought out a confidence in her that she never knew was there. She didn't have to explain all that to Splinter – she had a feeling he already knew. Her face then fell into a frown. "But what do I do now? Raph is avoiding me like the plague, Casey is all up my butt… I just don't know what to do anymore…"

"You will have to come to that conclusion on your own, I'm afraid," Splinter replied. "However, I advise you to be honest, and of course, follow your heart."

Autumn smiled graciously at him. "Thanks, Sensei," she said. "I hope I can figure this out…" She moved to stand.

"I believe you will," Splinter responded with a smile. She grinned back at him, then turned to leave as he closed his eyes and returned to his meditation.

So she didn't exactly get to try meditating, but she got to stir up a lot of emotions and thoughts and gain some new perspective about her overall life and all its crazy twists and turns. And for that, she was grateful.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N** **I'm back with more! I hope this doesn't frustrate anyone TOO much... but let's face it - most teenagers just struggle with the whole expressing their emotions properly thing, right?**

 **I wanted to give a shout-out to JayBeeZZ for the SUPER sweet and heart-warming review, you totally made my night! Everything you said in your review was what I was hoping to provide for the reader, I'm so glad I've delivered! I hope everyone else is still enjoying it thus far - rinpup14, StitcherBell, and LooksOnTempests thank you for your previous reviews too, they mean so much to me and keep me motivated! You all rock! And for all you other silent readers out there - don't be a stranger! Drop a review, let me know how you're liking it so far!**

 **I don't own TMNT, just Autumn, but I DO own a bearded dragon which we've fondly named Leatherhead. Oh yeah.**

Chapter 13

Almost Over

Michelangelo had outdone himself. The lair was covered in streamers and balloons, he had party hats and noisemakers, games and pizzas and cake and everything a good party should have. The latest pop and hip hop hits were blaring through speakers set up in the common room, and Mikey somehow managed to get his hands on lighted disco balls which were spinning and casting brightly colored lights around the room. It was more than enough, and certainly more than Autumn felt was needed, but she appreciated Mikey's efforts to make this evening special for her.

Raph had been keeping his distance from Autumn and Casey. It was the only thing that kept her party from being perfect – she wanted to share this special moment with the red-clad turtle, the one who had grown to be a very important part of her life. She felt her heart constrict every time he went out of his way to avoid making eye contact with her, or to even avoid being in the same room as her. She hated it. She regretted that she avoided her own feelings from the beginning. That she wasn't willing to admit to herself how she truly felt about Raphael. Whether he felt the same or not, he deserved the truth as to where she stood. The fact that he was a turtle got in her way, and her stomach knotted at the thought that she ever let that be a problem. Splinter was right – it's what's inside that truly matters. Raphael may be a turtle, but he has a soul, a spirit. On the inside, he's a person. And, as she had grown comfortable with this thought, she began to admit to herself that he really was attractive. It confused her before – being attracted to a reptile? It felt like she was breaking every law of nature! She worried she was some twisted freak… But feeling that way wasn't fair to Raphael either. Wasn't fair to any of them. They were people. All four of the turtles. Whether they originated as humans like their sensei or not, they had human souls and human spirits. And they were all beautiful. Inside and out. And if April could look at Donnie and see a person, and love him no matter what species he may be, she could do it too.

She stood in the kitchen, surrounded by the colorful streamers and balloons and party favors that Michelangelo had gone out of his way to supply for them – for her – and she felt love swell in her heart. For all of them. For the kindness they had shown her. For their humanity. For welcoming her into their home, even though she had threatened them in the beginning. For taking care of her when she was injured. For letting her stay. And now, for granting her the one wish she clung desperately to deep inside but had otherwise given up all hope on – to be human again.

She gazed out into the common room, where Raph was seated by himself, flipping through a comic book, ignoring everything that was going on around him. He might as well have not even been there. Seeing him sitting there, ignoring everyone – ignoring her – made it even harder to deal with his distance and avoidance. She wanted so badly to go to him, to try to talk to him, but she hadn't a clue what she'd say at this point. She realized with a tightness in her chest that things had spiraled out of control. Their passion had gotten too heated without them having discerned what exactly it even was. They were on the same page, but were also so far from the same page at the same time that it was inevitable that this distance were to happen at some point.

"Let's eat!" Mikey exclaimed, his voice somehow overpowering the loud music, breaking Autumn from her thoughts. He then turned the music down a few notches with a small remote in his large green hand. Autumn willingly grabbed a seat – the one she usually grabbed next to Raph in hopes that he'd sit in his normal seat – and decided to try to focus on having a good time.

But Raph was the last to enter the room. Casey had been the first to enter, just before Mikey announced it was time for dinner, and she had half a mind to notice, while she was lost in her thoughts about Raph, that he had discreetly placed a large brown paper bag on the floor as he carried a case of Orange Crush in the other hand. "I'll put these in the fridge!" Casey said with a grin, obviously trying to distract everyone from the other bag. Or at least it was obvious to Autumn. His distraction was successful when he pulled up a seat next to Autumn. A lump formed in her throat. Should she tell him that's Raph's seat? _Raph wasn't going to be happy about this…_ she thought nervously.

Surprisingly, Raphael didn't seem as angry as she expected when he came in and grabbed a seat between Mikey and April. Splinter stood off to the side, letting the group have the seats as everyone dug into the pizza and cheerful conversation engulfed the room. Raph kept to himself throughout dinner, but Autumn made up her mind that she wouldn't let Raph's attitude ruin her good time – even though she so easily could. She had made it through a whole year suppressing pain to survive, so certainly she could do it now.

After the majority of the pizza had been demolished, Mikey revealed the cake, which he also revealed that he created himself. "Happy Retro-Mutation, DWP!" was scrawled in piped dark blue icing over a red frosted cake. She tried to ignore any connections the color had to any other parts of her life… "That looks amazing, Mikey!" Autumn exclaimed wholeheartedly.

"My youngest son does seem to have a gift in the culinary arts," Splinter spoke with fondness, smiling.

Mikey beamed as he began cutting the cake and serving generous pieces on paper plates. It was as delicious as it looked, and everyone was stuffed after finishing dessert. Together they remained in the kitchen talking about life and hopes and dreams until finally, Splinter was the first to say he was going to check in for the night. He bid everyone good night and made his way back to his quarters.

Mikey turned the music down a notch or two, but it was still loud enough to set the mood for a late-night party. Which Casey was about to take to the next level. He retrieved the paper bag he had brought in and, with a devious grin, retrieved a large glass bottle of vodka.

"Casey! What do you think you're doing?!" April hissed at him.

"What? Just trying to enhance the party experience!" Casey responded, trying to sound innocent.

"Where did you even get that, anyway?" April asked, knowing full well he wasn't quite 21 yet. In fact, none of them were.

"I have connections," Casey retorted in a low voice, still smiling. The others were inching in closer, their curiosity getting the better of them.

Leo crossed his arms over his plastron, eyeing Casey with uncertainty. "I don't know, Casey, isn't this illegal?"

Casey rolled his eyes. "For me and April, yes, but the rest of you aren't even human, so I kinda don't think our laws apply. And we're underground in a secret lair, who the hell is gonna know? If we get caught, I'm pretty sure the authorities would be a bit more interested in the mutant reptiles we're drinking with, rather than the fact that we're drinking." He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head at Leo, daring him to disagree.

Before Leo could respond, Raphael grabbed the bottle out of Casey's grasp and twisted the cap. "Casey's got a great point," he declared, and raised the bottle toward the group. "Cheers!" and he tilted his head back to take a hefty swig, his green throat undulating as the alcohol traveled down. He brought the bottle back down to the table and gritted his teeth as it burned all the way down, then passed the bottle to Donnie, who was standing to his left.

Donnie took the bottle hesitantly, glancing over at April, who looked somewhat disapproving, though ambivalent at the same time. She gave him a shrug as if to say, "Your choice."

Donnie pursed his lips in thought for a moment. Casey and Raph were urging him on with their eyes, while the rest watched him with anticipation. Donnie shrugged and said, "I'm not one to step out of line…" then he smiled and continued, "Might be kinda fun to see what it's like," and he tipped the bottle back before he could change his mind and took a swig. "Agh!" he shouted through the burn, his tongue popped out of his open mouth. Raph and Casey laughed.

"It's my party!" Autumn exclaimed, taking the bottle from Donnie. "Can't let you guys have all the fun!" and she took a swig. Raph felt his insides stir as he watched her smooth throat move with the liquor, her sleek jawline tilted with the bottle. He shook the feeling away, reminding himself that it was over, these feelings would only make him more miserable. "Aahh," she hissed, smiling, feeling a warm tingling sensation wash over her. "Who's next?"

Casey snatched it from her hand, grinning. "I brought it, after all!" he exclaimed, and took a swig. He offered it to Leo and wiggled his eyebrows at him. "Whatdya say, Fearless?"

Leo narrowed his eyes and took the bottle. "Alcohol lowers your energy vibration," he began lecturing. "As honorable ninjas, we should respect our bodies, and inhibiting them with alcohol is not respectful."

"Then stay within your limits!" Autumn broke in. "Nobody's asking you to get wasted."

"Yeah!" Casey chimed in, agreeing. "Just trying to take the edge off and have a little fun! Nobody's _making_ you do it… though it'd be a lot more fun if you joined us…"

"Ugh," Leo groaned, clearly having an internal battle over the issue. He finally decided to give in. "There better not be any foot ninja attacks or anything tonight, or we're screwed."

"Alright!" Casey cheered, lifting his arm to their leader in blue for a fist-bump, but Leo chose to leave him hanging as he rolled his eyes.

"Naturally you'd think like that," Raph chided, and Leo shot him a glare as he tipped the bottle back.

As he brought the bottle back to the table, licking his lips, he met Mikey's eyes. The turtle in orange was eagerly waiting his turn and held out his hand, grinning. "I don't know, Mikey…" Leo said, his voice doubtful.

"Come ooonnn, you can't leave me out!" Mikey whined.

Casey grinned. "Come on, Leo, I wanna see what drunk Mikey is like!"

Leo slid the bottle over to Mikey, who ardently snatched it and tipped it back to his lips, grinning the entire time. "Ugh!" he shouted after a small swig as he brought the bottle back down, his face full of disgust. "How do you _like_ that stuff?" Everyone laughed at him.

"April?" Casey offered, smiling slyly at her.

April let out a heavy sigh and reached for the bottle. "Fine, give it here," she said, her voice less-than-enthusiastic, and took a swig.

Casey clapped his hands together with a big grin. " _Now_ it's a party!"

The night wore on, each one taking turns taking more swigs from the bottle, April being the only one to stop after the second shot. Her lack of ever having consumed alcohol made it very easy for her to develop a nice buzz, and she certainly didn't want to compromise herself too much. Donnie was the next to refuse, feeling a slight buzz and knowing he'd rather not take it too far. Leo was right behind Donnie, feeling the same way while also feeling the strong urge to not overdo it so as to keep the health of his body a priority, being the dedicated ninja that he was, and he encouraged Mikey to do the same, beings he was already loopy and staggering as it was.

The beat of the music was moving the party along perfectly. Donnie spun April around and caught her against him, both of them laughing as they gazed lovingly into each other's eyes, and Mikey took Autumn's hand and tried to do the same with her, resulting in them tripping over each other's feet and collapsing on the floor in fits of laughter. Casey cut in and took April's hand, giving her a spin as well, as Donnie laughed at the two, feeling grateful that they were in a place, finally, where he didn't have to feel jealous or competitive towards the compelling vigilante. Autumn was feeling more than buzzed, dancing around to the music feeling giddy and reckless. She grabbed Raph's hand and forced it over her head, spinning herself playfully and grinning at him. He didn't exactly return the smile, his buzz leaving him unsteady and guarded. Was she fucking with his emotions? He was trying to desperately to let go of his feelings for her, and all she does is throw herself back at him like a tease.

"Lighten up, _Raphie,"_ Autumn urged almost inaudibly, leaning up near his neck. God she missed being this close to him. He went rigid, feeling her hot breath against his neck, wanting so badly to press his lips against her like he had so many times before, to taste her just one more time before she was gone forever…

And then, it was over. Casey swooped in, took Autumn's hand (though, did Raph detect a bit of… reluctance on Autumn's face?) and spun her away from the turtle in red, grinning merrily the entire time. Her tail swirled around them like a ribbon, and she couldn't help but laugh, her buzz getting the better of her. _Whatever_ , she thought, going with the flow and resigning herself to just having a good time. She'd have more opportunities to tease Raph later.

Raph's chest constricted, and his eyes narrowed as his fists clenched. He tried to take deep breaths through his clenched teeth, reminding himself that she was going to be human, she deserved to be with a human, not him, it wouldn't work out with him, he needed to quit fooling himself…

He needed to punch something. He decided that Casey's face would be a bad choice.

He turned on his heel and left the room, heading straight for the dojo and leaving the party behind him.

Autumn barely noticed him leave, as Casey was twirling her and spinning her around the common room. Leo, Mikey, and Donnie each took turns dancing with her, and each of the turtles and Casey took turns dancing with April as well. Mikey and Leo attempted a ninjutsu-style breakdancing competition, which Leo easily won, being the most sober of the two. Though Mikey definitely earned the most laughs.

At 4:30am, Leo decided to call it a night, to which Mikey had to protest, calling him "Lame-o-nardo" for old time's sake. Leo rolled his eyes and shook his head, smiling nonetheless. "I don't really care to feel like shit during training when I wake up. We're still meeting in the dojo at 11am, so keep that in mind while you're still up partying. And Mikey, you might want to drink some water…"

"I'm goooood, brah!" Mikey crooned with a dopey smile, his orange mask askew on his face, waving his hand at Leo as he leaned back on the sofa.

Leo shook his head at him. "Good night, guys, see you at training." And with a quick wave, he was out.

Donnie stretched his arms over his head with April sprawled across his plastron. "I might call it a night too, guys," he announced as he brought one arm down around April's back and gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Aaaahhhh man!" Mikey cried. "Why y'all so _lame_?"

"I'll stay up with ya, Mike," Casey said. "Autumn? Red? You ladies in?"

April smiled sleepily against Donnie's plastron, the last of her buzz still hanging on and everyone else's inebriation affecting her similarly, making her feel a bit more bold than usual. "And miss getting to see what drunk Donnie is like in bed? I'm afraid I'm gonna call it a night too, guys."

"Gross!" Mikey exclaimed, his face full of disgust. Donnie couldn't help but turn bright red, which made April giggle.

"Yeah so… let's get you to bed—I mean to _sleep!_ To sleep!" Donnie said, pulling April up off the couch as the rest of them made more sounds of disgust and causing April to giggle more. They told everyone goodnight and disappeared down the hall toward Donnie's room.

Casey, Autumn, and Mikey were left, each sprawled across the sofas, Autumn being careful not to get into too close proximity of Casey, knowing in his tipsy state he was a bit more flirtatious than she cared to experience.

"Well, guys? Now what?" Casey asked, looking from Autumn, then to Mikey. "Oh you've got to be kidding me," he groaned when his eyes fell on the orange-clad turtle, who had somehow, in the last five seconds, passed out on the sofa, snoring loudly.

Autumn chuckled. "We could have so much fun with him like that…" she mused with a devilish grin on her face.

A grin spread across Casey's face to match, followed by him turning to face Autumn. "Or… I could have so much fun with _you_ with him like that…" His grin stayed plastered on his face as he gave her a wink. He began scooting in closer to her, one arm on the back of the couch on its way to her shoulders.

Autumn gulped, her smile turning nervous as she carefully moved herself away from him. "Gee, Casey… I don't know about that…"

Before she could say anything else, Casey was leaning in toward her with his eyes closed and lips soft.

"Shit," Autumn hissed, and jumped up off the couch as quickly as her compromised body would allow her to, causing Casey to fall face-first into the sofa cushion. "Come to think of it, I'm pretty tired too, good night, Casey! I had fun!" And she swiftly made her way down the hallway, leaving Casey alone in a haze of confusion.

She threw herself into April's room and closed the door behind her, breathing heavily. She leaned her back against the door, letting her head fall back against it as well as she looked up at the ceiling and closed her eyes. "What the hell kind of mess have I created…" she said quietly to the silent room.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N We're nearing the end of the story... :( Kinda bittersweet... Thanks again for the reviews! You guys really know how to make my day! And JayBeeZZ... Mikey works in mysterious ways... and ya never know what you might find in a dumpster!**

 **Hope you guys enjoy this next installment! Keep the reviews comin'! Love ya!**

Chapter 14

Retro-Mutation

Autumn stared at the dark ceiling in April's room, the tinges of a slight hangover snaking around her brain like tentacles. She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again, sliding her dry tongue over her chapped lips. She was surprised she didn't feel any worse - she knew she certainly deserved to. She had no sense of what time it was; the clock on the nightstand flashing 9:15am meant nothing to her. All she knew was that today was the day. The retro-mutagen would be done. Donnie would be testing it in just a few short hours, and if the test cells normalized, it would be go-time.

She had a few short hours left as a mutant...

The reality of it was too huge to completely wrap her head around. Could she even remember what it was like to feel human? Would she be able to keep her balance? Would she try to use a tail that wasn't there anymore? Would she try to climb down a building only to find her claws don't work like that any longer?

Her mind wandered to Raph and suddenly those concerns seemed mundane... She rolled onto her side, the mattress squeaking under her as she turned, and she rested her head on her folded hands. The motion brought on a pounding in her head, which subsided after a few breaths. She stared at the dimly lit wall in front of her, her eyes trailing across the shelves of April's pictures of the turtles, and of April and Donnie. Autumn sighed. She should have talked to Raph a long time ago. He had been avoiding her, it was obvious, and she was beginning to think she may have jumped to conclusions as to why... Talking to him would have been the right thing to do, but instead she only ended up hurting both of them by avoiding him in return. And then there was the issue of Casey... Did he actually try to kiss her last night? Was she falsely leading him on too? He really was a good guy, he didn't deserve to be strung along, and that's exactly what she was doing. She really needed to talk to him, too.

But first, Raph. She sat up in bed, taking it slow, the mattress squeaking under her again. She reached for the glass of water that was on her nightstand, not caring that it had sat there for who knows how long and had acquired a bit of a musty taste, and she chugged it back. Feeling slightly refreshed, she stood, her clawed feet planted firmly on the fuzzy rug on the floor beside the bed. Thank goodness she didn't drink any more than what she already had the night before, or she'd be completely miserable. She silently cursed Casey for bringing the liquor to the party in the first place. She brought her mind back to Raphael, and built up her courage for the talk she should have had a long time ago. With confidence and purpose, she strode out of the room and quietly made her way to Raph's door, ignoring the stiffness that had settled into her dehydrated muscles.

She couldn't hear anyone else up - the lair was silent in what was their morning hours. After patrolling all night, they caught up on sleep until at least 11am. The early nine o'clock hour was usually dead silent. Unless, like in her case, someone couldn't sleep.

When she arrived at the entrance to Raph's room, she was surprised to see the door was slightly open. "Raph...?" she asked quietly into the silence of the room, pushing the door open a bit more, causing a slight creak in the hinges, just enough for her to peer inside. Her face fell as she realized the room was empty. His sheets were strewn aside as if they were tossed angrily off the bed, which wasn't surprising, considering Raph. But where was he? _Dojo,_ she thought with a bit of a nod, and left the room to move quietly down the hall, but as she approached the dojo she was met with more silence. Certainly if Raph were in there, he'd be making some kind of noise. He usually showed their practice dummies no mercy when something was bothering him, and all corners of the lair got to hear about it. Sure enough, she peered inside the dojo to find it was empty as well. She sighed, her shoulders falling. She suddenly felt her already-overwhelming eagerness to talk to him before she turned human again grow, driving her determination to find him even stronger.

So many emotions raced through her, brought on by Raph's disappearance. She realized she didn't like this feeling at all. She knew the pain of his avoidance, but not even feeling his presence at all - that was worse. Is this how it would feel if she returned to her human life and never saw him again? Never saw any of them again? Tears stung at the back of her eyes. No. She couldn't live with that. This family had become a huge part of her life in just a short amount of time, Raphael especially, and if she no longer had him in it, a piece of her would be missing forever.

She had to find him. She had to talk to him before she turned human again. Where was he?

Maybe it was a sign. Maybe she wasn't supposed to talk to him yet? She glanced around the empty hallway, suddenly filled with anticipation to do something, yet she was not sure what, and she wasn't about to try to wake any of the others. Instead, she decided to go topside. Perhaps the morning bustle of the city could clear her thoughts, and some alone time in the solitude of the building top could miraculously bring her some insight.

She made her way swiftly out of the lair and to the nearest manhole cover and carefully lifted the lid above her, peeking out tentatively to observe the surroundings. It seemed empty enough, as it wasn't in one of the busier parts of town, so she quickly hoisted herself out, quietly replaced the lid, and bolted for the wall where she began climbing to the roof. The bittersweet realization that that could be her last climb up a building crossed her mind as she ascended. Once on top, she took a few calming breaths and took in her surroundings once more. Empty, just as she'd hoped. She sat on the floor just behind the ledge, so as not to risk being noticed by anyone who might look up, and she just simply breathed, her legs crossed and her hands on her knees, watching the traffic creeping through busy intersections, taxis dropping off and picking up passengers, listening to the bustling sounds of engines and honking and movement, while at the same time enjoying the warm morning breeze in the solitude on top of the building, completely separate from the activity and life in the city below. Peaceful. Maybe she could get the hang of this meditation thing after all.

She lost track of time after a while, her thoughts meandering from Raph to all of her mutant friends to her life for the past year to life before she got hit with the mutagen... But her thoughts traveled gracefully, gently, rolling from subject to subject, and she just sat quietly with each thought, accepting it for what it was, and letting each one float away. It was clearing, therapeutic in a way. Something made her look down at the alley where the manhole cover to the lair was, and she happened to notice a familiar head of shaggy dark hair and lanky build walking toward that very cover, holding a white paper bag. She leaned over the building to get a better look. "Casey?" she called down.

He stopped, looking around for the source of his name, then looked up and smiled when he noticed the large caramel-colored lizard head peering over the ledge. She couldn't help but smile too, thinking about their unique situation - if anyone else saw a giant lizard head looking at them from on top of a building, they certainly wouldn't be smiling. "Autumn!" he shouted up at her. "What are you doing up there?"

She shrugged. "Just needed some alone time to think." She nodded toward the paper bag. "Last time you brought one of those down to the lair it ended in trouble…"

"Trouble?!" Casey exclaimed, feigning a hurt expression. "I thought that was a pretty successful gift!" He held the bag up and said, "Never fear, only donuts this time!" and tucked the bag into the back corner of the lower fire escape landing, rolling the top edges tightly. "Care if I join you?" he asked, looking back up at her.

She shook her head in response. "Come on up!"

He began climbing the stairs, clearly taking it slow and steady - she was certain he had to have some sort of hangover from the night before, although she suspected that was not his first rodeo, and that he had probably built up a bit of a tolerance during his time in college. As she waited for him she replayed all the many things she wanted to say to him, suddenly feeling nervous. Where should she even start? What needed to be said? How was she supposed to put her feelings into words? Would he understand?

And suddenly, there he was, standing upright on the rooftop, thumbs in his front jeans pockets, tall and lanky yet with broad shoulders that had a muscular build that was accentuated underneath his black t-shirt stretched across his pecs, a mess of dark hair, piercing dark eyes, a soft smile... everything that would make any girl feel slightly weak in the knees. He certainly was hot. Was she doing the right thing? Passing up on a guy like this, who didn't care whether she was a lizard or a human? Someone she could actually be with, go on dates with, hang out with in public when she was human again? Yet, somehow none of that mattered when her thoughts shifted back to Raph. The way he made her feel, the way she felt complete… Casey may be a great guy, sure, but he simply didn't make her feel the way Raph did. That's all there was to it. She swallowed and composed herself, offering him a nervous smile. "Hey," she said, hoping her voice sounded steady.

"Hey," he replied casually. He took a breath and said, "Look, about last night-"

She cut him off. "No, no, forget about that. I haven't been honest with you, and I need to sort out this mess before I make it even worse." Casey waited patiently to let her say her piece, a nervous curiosity in his eyes. She brought her hand up to the back of her neck, suddenly feeling more nervous herself. How was she going to say what she needed to say? "This is actually pretty good timing that I saw you... I've been needing to talk to you too..." She dropped her hand at her side and waited for his response.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, the curiosity still etched across his face, only with more hesitance now, wondering what the context of this conversation was going to be.

She gave him a half shrug. "Yeah. I haven't been open and honest with anyone, actually" she replied, then added, "Including myself."

"What do you mean?" Casey asked, his dark brows knitting together as he took a step closer to her.

"I..." Autumn began, feeling like she was about to start stammering. She took a breath then threw her hands out to the side helplessly as she blurted out, "I think I'm love with Raph."

Their eyes locked for a moment, hers nervous and filled with anticipation, his contemplative yet surprised, his eyebrows raising slightly.

"Wait... what?" Casey responded, squinting and tilting his head forward.

Autumn shrugged her hands out to her sides and dropped them back down again. "We've kind of had this... fling... or whatever... going on pretty much the entire time I've been down there. And I thought that's all it was - a fling - but now I'm not so sure..."

Casey lowered his brows, squinting his eyes further in frustration. "Why did no one bother to tell me this?" he asked quietly.

Autumn sighed. "I'm sorry. Nobody knew about it but April, and Raph and I have never really even talked about it with each other. I was confused... I knew I liked him, but I wasn't sure if I was willing to do the whole... mutant-human dating thing... and I didn't know if he was either, and then you came along and showed interested and I got confused even more... like maybe I'm supposed to be with a human. And you're an awesome guy... So I went along with it... but..." She felt the onset of tears stinging in her eyes, realizing how shitty she had acted, inadvertently hurting both of them by her dishonesty. "But I just didn't feel the same about you... and I could never shake the feelings I had about Raph..." The tears finally emerged, and one fell down her cheek. "And now I hurt him..."

Casey clearly looked upset, while at the same time trying to keep his composure. "Yeah..." he began in a low voice, "And it wound up causing me to hurt him too..." He looked off to the side, pain etched through his dark eyes and across his face. "No wonder he's been all pissy and stand-offish with me. I'd been stealing his girl right out from under him this whole time." He turned his head to face her again, his eyes flashing angrily. "He's my best friend, Autumn, I would never want to hurt him like that."

Autumn took a step forward, throwing her palms up, a tone of desperation rising in her voice. "I know, I'm so sorry Casey! I just went and fucked everything up..." She pressed her palms to her temples as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Casey looked down, shaking his head slightly. "I need to talk to Raph. He needs to know I never meant to hurt him..." He looked back up at her and added, pointing, "Which means _you_ need to talk to Raph, because he deserves to know how you feel."

She nodded, another tear slipping down her cheek. "I've been losing sleep over this... I tried to talk to him this morning, but he wasn't in his room. He wasn't anywhere in the lair. I don't know where he went and..." Suddenly a sob caught in her throat. "I don't even know if he'll be around when I turn human again today... And he's the only one I care about being there for that..." She brought her hands up to her face, letting the tears flow. "He probably doesn't want anything to do with me anymore!" she cried through her fingers.

Casey sighed, walking toward her. "Look, the way Raph's been acting, I'm sure he still likes you, otherwise it wouldn't be bothering him so much." She choked on another sob, and he brought his hands up to the sides of her shoulders. "Hey," he said softly, his voice comforting. "You've been through a lot. We can't hold it against you that you didn't handle any of this in the best way... But you can fix it." He gave her shoulders a squeeze and she took a step closer to him, leaning her forehead on his shoulder, her hands still up by her face, and letting herself cry, taking comfort in his friendship and forgiveness. He brought his hands around her in a friendly hug and let her cry. "I'm glad you finally told me." He pressed his cheek against the side of her scaly head. "I'm winding up with a bad track record with these guys though," he added with a bit of humor in his voice. "First April, and she goes and chooses Donnie over me. Now you, and I lose against Raph... How the hell am I supposed to take this?"

Autumn couldn't help but chuckle. "Don't take it personal, Case," she answered, her voice still watery, as she brought her arms around his waist in a friendly hug.

"Seriously, though. What do they have that I don't have?"

Autumn laughed. "Scales and shells?" she answered jokingly. She lifted her head from his shoulder, leaving a damp spot on his black shirt from her fallen tears, and looked him in the eyes, smiling. With a shrug, she added, "I guess some girls are just into that sort of thing."

Casey snorted. "You women and your weird fetishes..."

It was meant to be a joke, she knew, but her face fell slightly as she looked down, their arms still entwined around each other. "That was part of my hesitation for saying anything, actually..." she admitted.

Casey's brows knit together again. "What's that?" he asked for clarification.

Autumn, shrugged, still looking at the ground. "I've never been one to fantasize about... weird... fetish... type things before… If you can even call it that..." She felt embarrassed to even be saying it. "Finding Raph attractive at all kind of freaked me out..."

"Hey," Casey cut in, cupping her chin in his hand to guide her back to meet his eyes. "It's not weird. These guys have some of the biggest hearts of anyone I've ever met. They're so genuine and easy to get along with, it's easy to look past the fact that they aren't human. Inside, they are. When I look at them, I see five great people, and honestly, they look _normal_ to me." He shrugged as he placed his hand back on the side of her shoulder, then admitted, "I find you attractive. And I know exactly how you feel, I was thrown off by that feeling too. How is that even possible? But it's the person inside that's making it happen. You're cool, you're fun, you're full of life and fire, you're a damn impressive ninja,"

"Kunoichi," she corrected, smiling at him.

He grinned at her. "That too." He sighed, his smile softening. "What I mean is, it's the person inside that matters. Raph, and all his brothers, and Splinter, and you, are no different than any other people. You all just happen to look a little different. And that certainly doesn't make you unattractive."

She gave him an appreciative smile, her eyes sparkling. "I thought you said you weren't a romantic?" she teased.

He tilted his head to the side, lifting his eyes to the sky and back down at her. "I guess I have my moments."

She grinned at him, then let go of the embrace, stepping back and letting her arms drop to her sides as his did the same. "Thank you," she said, her words coming from her heart, the sincerity in her eyes. "For forgiving me, for understanding... for being a good friend." She gave him a warm smile. "You're gonna make some lucky girl pretty damn happy some day."

Casey laughed. "Thanks. So long as I don't have any mutant turtles to compete with."

"Hey," she shrugged helplessly, still smiling. "It's all about timing!"

They suddenly heard the manhole cover close with a loud clank from the alley below, shocking them both. They exchanged confused glances. "What was that?" Autumn questioned, and they both went to peer over the edge, but saw no one in the alley.

Casey looked back up at Autumn. "Someone must have gone down..."

Autumn's heart sank. "God I hope it wasn't Raph... If he saw us talking..."

Casey's face fell. "Shit... he'll be jumping to all kinds of conclusions..."

Autumn groaned, bringing her palms to her forehead. "Why did I let this get so out of control?"

Casey touched the back of her arm. "Come on, let's head back down, if we play our cards right we might be able to get his head out of his ass enough for him to listen."

Autumn nodded hesitantly, and they both made their way down the building, her on the brick wall and him on the fire escape, and back down to the lair.

Raph had indeed seen everything. He woke early, feeling lethargic and stiff from the aftermath of last night's party, but was unable to go back to sleep as thoughts raced through his head. Autumn forever changed him. Maybe he should appreciate that he got to experience something like that at all, even if it was only temporary. But he couldn't help but want more... And then his best friend comes along and ruins it for him. Or did he? Maybe Raph never stood a chance to begin with. And perhaps it wasn't right to be mad at Casey. He deserved a girl like that, and Casey was a great guy, she deserved a guy like him. If Raph truly wanted the best for the people he cared about, he shouldn't have a problem with this.

But he couldn't help it. He definitely had a big, big problem with this...

All he could think to do was go for a run to clear his head, hoping that his stiff muscles would loosen up with some intense movement. It was risky in broad daylight, but he'd done it before. He needed it.

The last thing he expected was to come across Casey and Autumn in a loving embrace on the building top right above the entrance to the lair on the way back from his run. So much for clearing his fucking head. He felt his blood boil, the anger rising in him like hot bile, and the conflict of emotions tore at his heart in a raging battle, making him unsure of how to even feel, or how he wanted to feel. They stood together in their embrace for longer than he cared to witness, and before his anger could boil over, he leapt from the building and down the manhole, the lid clattering shut after him.

He barged through the turnstiles in a fit of rage, blasted his fist into the nearest wall, the skin of his knuckles breaking and searing from the impact, and made his way to the dojo. He was ready to kick some ass in training. Not that it would blow off even a fraction of his frustration, but it was a thought at least.

Leo, Donnie, and Mikey were already in the dojo. The two younger brothers stood with sagging posture and bags under their eyes, their older brother completely lacking any compassion for them. They looked at Raph nervously as he plowed through the doors and swept in with the fury of a tornado, his jaws set and fists clenched.

Leo cleared his throat. "Everything okay, Raph?" he asked carefully.

Raph whirled to face Leo, and gave him a look that said, "Are ya stupid?"

Leo set his jaw. "Okay then... So... Let's get started." His voice was more assertive, though he knew the damage Raph was capable of when he was like this. And of course today was a day Sensei decided to let the boys handle training without him.

Mikey raised his hand as though he were in school. "Um, question?" Everyone turned to give him their attention, and he continued on with a slight crack in his voice. "Since Raph seems like he could take on the Shredder and win right now, and, let's face it, Donnie and I probably aren't quite up to snuff, can we just spar three against one?"

Leo was about to protest, getting ready to lecture them about their choices and accepting the consequences, when Raph cut in with a growl, "That sounds perfect," and he cracked his knuckles, followed by his neck.

Leo rolled his eyes. "You really need to control your anger, Raph."

Raphael's eyes burned with fiery rage, his fists clenching tightly. "I do control my anger," he muttered lowly. "Like this!" And he charged at his brother in blue, who quickly dodged to the side, landing in a squat and coming up with his blades drawn. Mikey's nunchucks were immediately spinning, and Donnie had his bo staff drawn and at the ready, both brothers functioning solely off of the surge of adrenaline Raphael instigated. Raph drew his sais and came at Donnie first. Damn him and his cocky "I know everything about relationships" attitude. Damn him being the nerd in the family and he's the first to get a girl. He growled as he locked his sais onto Donnie's staff and before Donnie could think to release it, Raph had it flipped up over his head with Donnie still intact, sending him flying behind him and landing hard on the mat. Mikey was on Raph as this was happening, nunchucks spinning toward him. Upon immediate release of Donnie and his staff, Raph readied his sais, leaping in the air over Leo's katanas as they swung towards his legs and landing in time to lock his weapons into the chains of Mikey's nunchucks, breaking their spin. Mikey's eyes widened, Raph yanked the weapons toward him and dropped to roll backwards, just missing another swing from Leo's katanas. Donnie was back on him, narrowly missing him with his spinning staff as Raph dodged to the side and gracefully leapt back up to his feet. His foot made contact with Mikey's plastron, sending him backwards at the same time he locked his sai onto one of Leo's blades, and with a twist he sent it flying. Leo kept a grip on the other as he spun himself to plant his extended foot into Raph's face, but he flipped backward to dodge it, just in time for his own feet to connect with Donnie's plastron before he had the chance to swing his bo staff at him from behind. Raph blazed with more and more fury and rage as they continued on like this, until suddenly the voice of their sensei broke their concentration.

" _Yame_!" he commanded, and the four brothers came to an immediate halt, chests heaving and eyes wild. Splinter walked calmly into the dojo as the four turtles arranged themselves on their knees in front of him. After a moment of quiet, Splinter spoke, his hands behind his back and his face upright, focusing on the far wall. They all came to the silent conclusion that Splinter was not blind to their actions the night before, and they prepared themselves for a lecture on self-respect. They were somewhat surprised when he didn't bring it up. Perhaps he knew it was a lesson that had already been learned from consequences - and instead he chose to focus on what he felt was a more pressing matter. "Raphael," he began firmly. "Your anger is a great weapon. Both against an enemy," he turned to face his red-clad son, "and against yourself." Raph dropped his gaze to the floor, his eye ridges furrowed over his angry eyes. He didn't speak. Splinter continued, "You are capable of destroying yourself just as easily as you destroy your enemies. You must learn to confront your emotions, and tame your rage. Do you understand?"

Raphael glowered at the floor. "Hai Sensei," he muttered, though he didn't necessarily mean it. His anger was familiar, and therefore strangely comforting. While he was secretly willing to admit it was unhealthy, it was what he knew.

"Good," Splinter replied. "Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, you three may continue sparring. Raphael, I advise that you either choose to meditate, or continue your training individually. You must find a way to extinguish your anger before you do more harm than just causing physical injuries."

The four brothers stood quietly. Raphael's expression was still fixed with anger, yet it had softened slightly with confusion from his sensei's words.

" _Hajime_!" Splinter commanded, and turned to leave the boys to their practice, three of which were relieved to have evaded punishment from their actions the night before. Raph stormed over to the practice dummy and began to pummel it with blow after blow, every now and then swinging his foot into it with a roundhouse kick for good measure. More harm than physical injuries? What was he implying? Raph was the one who had been hurt by this mess, but it wasn't his anger, it was _her_. He let his guard down. He became vulnerable as soon as he let Autumn in. And now he had to deal with the rejection. It was inevitable, of course. She so desperately wanted to return to her human life, of course she wouldn't want to pursue anything with a mutant turtle. She wanted to put her mutant days behind her and move on. He couldn't blame her. He leapt up and knocked the dummy over with a hard drop kick. It's just that he wasn't expecting Casey to swoop in and take her away, he thought as he picked the dummy back up and continued to blast it with his fists. Why did it have to be him? Not only is he losing the girl he lo- took interest in… The only chance he may ever have at a relationship... but he'll never be able to look at his best friend the same way again either. _Pound pound pound_. How could he not be angry? These were the shittiest circumstances ever. And in just a few hours, he'd have to stand back and watch her turn human again, and pretend to be happy for her. _Pound kick pound_. How was he supposed to be happy about that? _Pound pound kick_. Yet Sensei thinks he's only hurting himself? The only one he wanted to hurt was Casey, by pounding his stupid head. _Pound pound pound_ , his raw fist connected with the dummy's face. He knew better than to question Splinter. He was far wiser than any of them could imagine, and he had proven that many times. Raphael knew he should reflect more on Splinter's words, try to find their meaning, but he was so wrapped up in his own self-loathing and victimization that he couldn't find it in him to tap that wisdom. So instead, he continued to pummel the dummy.

Concealed in the shadows of the hallway beyond the doorway to the dojo, Casey and Autumn watched as Raphael took his frustrations out on the practice dummy. Casey swallowed hard, hoping Raph wasn't picturing his own head in place of the abused mannequin's, and Autumn carefully tried to breathe through her guilt, knowing at some point he _had_ to cool down and just listen to her. He _had_ to.

"Do you think it's a good idea to talk to him when he's like this?" Casey whispered to Autumn.

The lizard slowly shrugged her caramel, scaled shoulders. "I'm a little intimidated, I'll admit."

Casey chortled from the back of his throat. "If _you're_ intimidated, then I'm outta here. Talking to him now would probably be a death sentence for me."

"Come on Casey, he's not a monster," Autumn hissed. At that point Raph grabbed the dummy around the neck and hurtled it into the wall, breathing heavily with his fists clenched as he watched it crash into a heap on the floor. "Then again…" Autumn retracted, biting her lip. Casey's eyes were wide with fear.

" _Yame_!" Leo commanded to the group, noticing Raph had blown a fuse. The other three turtles stopped, all of them watching Raph cautiously, who looked like he was just barely holding it together before his head went up in flames. "Raph, get over here. Please," Leo directed, the last part an afterthought.

Raph turned a fiery glare at his oldest brother, and began moving toward them with a frighteningly calm gait, though his face displayed otherwise. The two younger brothers swallowed nervously.

"Stand here," Leo ordered him firmly, pointing to a spot on the mat next to him. Raph complied willingly, his face still set in a scowl. Leo directed the other two brothers where to stand, forming four corners of a small square, about five feet between each of them. "I want everyone to take a deep inhale, and don't let it out until I do. Continue with deep breaths until I say we're done." The tone in his voice was not to be argued with. Raph rolled his eyes, which Leo noticed but chose to ignore, and he then took a deep breath, closing his eyes, listening to his own breath and the breaths of his brothers, especially Raph's, who surprisingly obeyed. He felt the air fill his lungs to capacity, imagining taking in calmness and peace, and mentally channeling that peace to his brothers. After five seconds, he blew the breath out hard, releasing anger and tension, and his brothers followed. He sucked in another deep breath, listened to the three echoes, held it, and together they let it out. They continued this way for several minutes, and a peaceful stillness washed over them, even Raph, who could even feel his own temper cooling, though his ego wouldn't allow him to admit it out loud.

Casey and Autumn watched from the hallway, feeling a peaceful stillness washing over them as well. Finally, Leo drew the exercise to a close, and each brother silently looked at each other, the room calm and still. In a soft, gentle voice, Leo spoke, "Good. Thanks, guys. Session adjourned." They each bowed to each other, yet stood quietly for a few moments longer, until finally Donnie spoke.

"Well, I should find Autumn, the retro-mutagen should be ready for testing."

Autumn and Casey stood up straighter and silently made their way down the hall away from the dojo, not wanting the brothers to discover that they'd been eavesdropping for quite some time. They entered the kitchen where they found April pouring a cup of coffee. "Good morning…" April greeted, her tone suspicious, seeing the two looking slightly guilty. "What were you up to?"

"Spying, more or less," Autumn admitted with a shrug.

"Don't tell," Casey requested, grabbing a mug for himself. "Why weren't you at training?" he asked her as he poured his coffee.

April shrugged. "I got this sense that they needed to train alone this morning, just the four of them." Casey and Autumn nodded, realizing she had certainly been right.

"I told Casey everything, by the way," Autumn informed April with a sigh, taking a seat at the table.

April met Autumn's eyes, her brows raised. "Oh yeah?" She turned her head to Casey, taking in his expression. "Good," she finished with a nod.

Casey let out a breath and leaned against the counter, his mug in his hands. "I feel like shit." He shook his head, looking down at his steaming coffee.

April shrugged. "It's not your fault, you weren't doing anything wrong," she said, her voice comforting.

"Yeah, seriously, this whole thing is my fault," Autumn spoke remorsefully, drawing random circles with her thumb across the smooth tabletop.

"Hey," April cut in, "Don't take all the blame for yourself. Raph could have said something just as easily as you could have." Autumn gave a small acknowledging shrug, then went back to her own thoughts. "All I have to say at this point is that you two better straighten your shit out."

Autumn sighed. "I know, I'm going to talk to him as soon as I can." They turned to face the doorway as they heard the four brothers coming toward the kitchen.

"Autumn! Perfect!" Donnie exclaimed in an excited voice. He reached to grab her arm, her expression surprised. "I need a sample of your DNA, come with me!" and he pulled her off the stool toward him.

"Uuhh," Autumn stammered, not having any time to think as he dragged her out of the kitchen.

April smiled sympathetically and shook her head. "So much for trying to talk…" she mumbled. Casey responded wordlessly, taking a sip from his mug.

In the lab, Donnie offered a seat to Autumn as he retrieved his tweezers. "May I?" he asked, gesturing with the small metal prongs. Autumn shrugged and held out her arm, and he plucked a small scale off at her wrist, leaving a sharp zinging sensation similar to plucking out a hair. He placed the scale on a glass slide, then took an eyedropper full of the retro-mutagen and squeezed a small drop on the scale. He peered through the microscope as he placed the slide under it, and Autumn stood to lean in closer, eagerly watching. Donnie made a few adjustments to the lens and watched carefully, holding his breath. After what felt like an eternity to Autumn, she watched as a huge grin spread across his face. "The cells are normalizing!" he exclaimed. He watched a few seconds longer, then stood back, beaming proudly.

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Autumn gasped, her stomach twisting in excitement and disbelief. The enormity of what this meant came crashing into her, and she fell back onto her seat. Donnie just grinned at her.

"Are you ready?" he asked excitedly. She stared blankly up at him, meeting his joyous eyes. This was it… she could be human again… after over a year, living like a lizard, hating her body… After a month of finally learning to love and accept herself… Now she'd get to return to her true form, her human form. She looked down to the side, taking it all in. She would get to see her mom and her dad and her brother again… She could see her friends again… She could go to school again, or would she be in college now? How would she make up that lost year? What would her family say? What would she tell them? Her face twisted in uncertainty. "You okay?" Donnie asked softly, noticing her hesitation.

She turned to meet his eyes once again. "I… I don't know… I'm scared, and nervous, and excited all at the same time…" she circled her hands around in her lap as she tried to explain. "I'm a little shocked too, I guess the reality hasn't really sunk in until now… I could actually see my family and friends again… But what am I going to tell them?" Her voice cracked under the emotion of it all. "I can't just walk in and say 'Hey, I've been a lizard for the past year, but I'm back now! Sorry I worried you!'" She frowned despairingly at him. "What am I gonna do?"

He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We'll figure it out. We'll all help you think of the right thing to do and say. Let's get you human again first. I think it'll help you think a little clearer once you've gotten over that bridge." Autumn nodded nervously, biting the inside of her lip. Donnie gave her shoulder a pat and looked over at the door, then back at her. "Want me to call in the others?" Autumn looked over at the door as well, then nodded her head. Donnie smiled and left.

Donnie entered the kitchen, where everyone was gathered, sipping their morning coffee and tea and munching on the donuts Casey brought, leftover pizza, and the last of Autumn's celebration cake. Everyone was making small talk amongst themselves, except Raph, who was off to the side, leaning against the wall, his eyes distant.

"Guys," Donnie interrupted, trying to contain his excitement. Everyone turned to look at him, and once he had their attention, he announced, "It's go time!"

April jumped up out of her seat. "Oh my god! You did it!" She threw her arms around her boyfriend and planted a kiss on his cheek, making him blush as he placed his hand on her back and smiled at the others.

"She's ready, if you guys want to come see the transformation," he offered, and everyone moved to follow him, all feeling a bit speechless. April noticed Raph wasn't moving, so she let go of Donnie and gave him a nod to go ahead and go, as she stayed back to talk to Raph.

"You better be coming," she hissed at him.

He glared at her. "This isn't your business, April," he growled back at her, then averted his eyes once more.

"Dammit, Raph, it is my business, you're both my friends and you're both a couple of stubborn hotheads if you asked me. You mean more to her than you realize, and it would crush her if you weren't there," she poked a finger into his plastron, causing him to recoil slightly in shock, and she continued, "so get your bull head out of your ass and get the _fuck_ out of this kitchen and into that lab, got it?" She was leaning into him, nearly feeling like she was a whole two feet taller than him. Her eyes were on fire, and an energy radiated from her that even he could feel, realizing she was not a force to be reckoned with at this moment.

"Okay, okay, cool it woman," Raph mumbled, and he stood to lead the way back to the lab.

Autumn was standing nervously, feeling a little on display as everyone gathered around her. She was wrapped in a bathrobe, unsure of how her current attire would handle the transformation, but at least knowing her shorts wouldn't work well after her tail was gone. She had her arms folded over her chest, anxiously awaiting as Donnie filled a spray bottle with the red-orange liquid.

Leo had retrieved Splinter so that he could join them for Autumn's change. He hung back behind them, taking a seat on one of Donnie's chairs. Mikey sat on his knees as close as he could, like an eager child at storytime, and Leo, April, and Casey stood to the side of Donnie in curious, yet excited anticipation. Raph seemed as though he felt out of place, awkwardly leaning against Donnie's desk behind the group, arms crossed in front of his plastron, a hesitant curiosity consuming his expression, while at the same time trying to remain stoic and uninterested.

"Well," Donnie began with a shrug, "I guess this is it," and he smiled warmly at Autumn.

"Um," Autumn began. "Would someone record this please?" she asked nervously. "I kinda want to remember this moment forever…"

Donnie grinned and without hesitation, retrieved a small camera from one of his shelves and set it up on a stool, pressing record. "And we're live!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

"Ha," Autumn humored him, smiling. "K, well… I guess this is it… The moment I've been waiting for…" She swallowed hard, feeling so nervous, her heart hammering in her chest, her stomach twisted in knots. She swished her tail behind her nervously, then turned as she lifted it in front of her. She brought her hands to it, stroking the slender, pointed end. "I'm gonna miss this thing…" she said quietly, then without warning she gave it a sharp swing and cracked it like a whip, making everyone jump. She grinned brightly, and everyone laughed, even Raph couldn't help but crack a small smile from the back of the group. She met his eyes, and smiled warmly at him, his grin, small though it may be, offering her all the comfort she needed. Even though they weren't there yet, she knew that soon enough, everything would be okay.

She turned back to face Donnie, outstretched her arms, and said with a smile and a tone of confidence, "Alright, let's do this."

He grinned, took a breath, lifted the spray bottle, and without further ado, gave it a hard spray as she closed her eyes and held her breath.

The room went silent as everyone held their breath in anticipation, leaning forward eagerly, unsure of what to expect.

Autumn squeezed her eyes shut as suddenly the room felt like it was spinning. Her insides turned in a different way than what her nerves were doing to her just seconds ago, and she felt everything shifting. It was a strange sensation, not really painful but not exactly comfortable either, as everything moved and readjusted. A warmth spread over her, followed by an electric tingling sensation. A strange shrinking and retracting happened at the base of her spine, and the same thing happened all over her shoulders and head, followed by a prickling sensation across her scalp and above her eyes and across her eyelids, as what felt like warm fur cascaded down around her shoulders. A more subtle prickling sensation crept across her entire body, causing her to shudder, and lastly, she felt her face sucking in and a smaller jutting feeling emerging from between her closed eyes. The blood had been pounding loudly in her ears, drowning out the whole world around her, and as soon as the sound dissipated she found herself in an almost tangible, oppressive silence. She hesitantly opened her eyes, where she found seven pairs of wide, amazed eyes staring back at her. Mikey's mouth was hanging open almost obnoxiously, Donnie wore a wide grin that was so full of pride it was borderline cocky, April was overcome with excitement, her eyes radiating light, Casey looked dumbstruck, Leo impressed, and Splinter proud of his son's success and his family's togetherness over the occasion.

"Holy mother of _mutagen_ ," Mikey breathed in awe, his jaw still hanging to the floor.

"Did… Did it work?" Autumn asked hesitantly, lifting her hands nervously up to her vision. _Oh my god,_ she thought incredulously. _Human hands…_ she lifted them higher. _Human arms…_ She brought her hands to her head, pushing her fingers into her hair. Tears immediately welled in her eyes. "Oh my god…" she whispered out loud, as she pulled her wavy espresso colored locks forward to take in the reality of them. A tear fell down her cheek as emotion choked in her throat. She brought her hands back to where her tail once was, feeling a flat sacrum sloping into round buttocks instead. She choked out a laugh. "Gonna have to get used to that…" she said quietly, smiling. She looked up and met Raph's eyes, and her heart squeezed in her chest.

He had stood up straighter during the transformation as he watched her scaly, caramel colored flesh transform into creamy pale skin, the barbs across her shoulders and head giving way to the most beautiful, luscious dark brown locks he'd ever seen. Her eyes came in slightly closer together as her snout retracted and sprouted a perfect, petite round human nose, and the most beautiful, thick dark lashes spread across her eyelids, making her violet-colored eyes even more mysterious and mesmerizing than they were before. Her cheeks gave way to a beautiful bone structure that wasn't quite as visible under her fuller features as a lizard, and her jawline was strong and fierce. Raphael almost couldn't handle her radiant beauty, feeling a strong urge to run, as if soaking in one more second of her exquisite glory would simply cause his racing heart to implode. When her eyes met his, her dark lashes fluttering, her moist pink lips forming into a soft smile, he about lost it, his insides going crazy like a bunch of lit fireworks. Yet all he could do was stare stupidly at her.

"Hell yeah it worked," Leo exclaimed, being the first of them to speak and breaking Raph and Autumn from their trance. He clapped Donnie on his carapace, nearly making him fall forward. "You never cease to amaze us, little brother," he praised him with a smile, and Donnie glowed.

"You look… amazing…" April breathed, stepping forward to Autumn and taking her human hands in hers, looking into her eyes.

Autumn blushed. "I think I forgot what I even look like…" Autumn whispered back. Over April's shoulder, she watched as Raphael suddenly turned and silently left the room. Autumn's face fell, and April looked behind her to see what had happened.

She turned back to meet Autumn's sad eyes. "Come on, we're about the same size, you can borrow my clothes for now." She took her by the arm and guided her toward the door.

Autumn absently nodded, then met Donnie's eyes. She gently released herself from April's grasp and turned to the tall turtle in purple, and threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you," she whispered into him, feeling more tears emerging.

Donnie returned the hug, squeezing her tightly and smiling. "You're welcome," was all he could think to say, and Autumn stepped back, smiling at him with watery eyes. She then turned to join April, and together they left the lab.

In April's room, Autumn sat on the bed, lost in her thoughts, as April found something in her closet for Autumn to wear. She retrieved a long purple sleeveless top with a large black flower appliqué at the waist, and black leggings. "This oughtta rev Raph's engine," April teased as she handed the outfit to Autumn. "You're going to talk to him, right?" she asked after her friend didn't respond.

Autumn sighed. "I'm going to try. I hope he'll listen." She shook her head sadly as she stared blankly at the floor. "He just… _left_. He didn't say anything at all…"

"He's got just as many confused emotions to sort out as you do, Autumn." April placed her hand on Autumn's human shoulder, feeling the soft fleece of the bathrobe under her hand. Autumn looked up to meet her eyes as April finished, "Just talk. Just say whatever comes into your heart first, don't hold anything back." She shrugged. "That's all you can do at this point."

Autumn nodded and took the outfit from April, smiling at her generous friend. "Thank you," she said in a hushed tone, her voice full of gratitude. April returned the smile and patted her on the shoulder, then left the room, leaving Autumn to her thoughts. _Here goes nothin'…_ she thought, feeling as though she were diving off a cliff into the great unknown.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Well, guys... this is it... Parting is such sweet sorrow... This was a lot of fun to write - I hope you all had just as much fun reading it! Would you like a sequel? I have a lot of new ideas for a fun story following up on Autumn and Raph as well as introducing a new OC and throwing in some adventure and fun stuff like that... Thoughts? Suggestions?**

 **And now, on with the final chapter... Short, sweet, and fluffy. Thanks again for all the faves, follows, and especially the reviews! I appreciate all of the support, it really helped keep me motivated! You all rock! Stay tuned, I'm hoping to get a sequel up within the next month... :D Peace out, friends! And enjoy!**

Chapter 15

Opening Up

Autumn inspected herself in April's full-length mirror. She felt amazing, and for the first time in over a year, she felt beautiful. She was how she was supposed to look. Although she had come to accept herself and appreciate herself as a lizard, she knew it wasn't her true form. But having come to find a sense of self-love, even as a mutant lizard, seemed to enhance her confidence in human form, and she could see it emanating on the outside as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her slender, toned arms hung at her sides from her narrow, muscular shoulders, and her sleeveless purple top she wore hung loosely at her hips, while clinging to her in all the right ways, her breasts perky in the bra she had also borrowed from April, her abdomen taut and firm beneath the fabric of the blouse. The black leggings accentuated her sculpted thighs and calves, and her bare feet, while bony-looking and muscular, looked delicate and feminine on the concrete floor. Her deep, dark brown hair hung loosely around her shoulders, soft and wavy, accentuating the bone structure of her cheeks and jaw. She tucked a lock behind her ear – she had _ears!_ – and smiled at the simplicity of something she once took for granted but was now so overjoyed to experience. She saw her smile reach her eyes as they lit up, the flecks of gray sparkling like diamonds. She nodded at herself in the mirror, feeling strong and confident. She'd win Raph's heart back. She just needed to convince him that he had hers all along.

She strode out of April's room and headed straight to his, where she found his door shut tight. She took a deep breath, and let it out, steadying herself as she brought her knuckles up to rap lightly on the wood surface.

"Fuck off," came Raph's aggravated baritone from behind the closed door, and Autumn sighed. _Not this time,_ she thought in reply, and carefully turned the doorknob, pushing it forward and stepping calmly into his room, closing the door behind her with her back as she leaned against it and looked up tentatively at Raphael.

He was lying prone on his bed, staring at a comic book, absorbed in his own world, and an angry scowl crossed his face. "I _said_ fuck _off_ ," he growled threateningly as he turned to face the intruder, and his face went cold, his eyes wide.

"Hey, Raph," Autumn said softly, biting her lip, still leaning against the door, her palms flat against it.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "What're you doin' here," he said lowly, it coming out more like a statement than a question.

Autumn stood from the door and wrung her soft, human hands in front of her, looking nervous and hesitant, yet determined. She took a breath, then said firmly, "We need to talk."

He turned to look at his comic book again, feigning disinterest while at the same time trying to distract himself from how fucking gorgeous she was. "'Bout what," he replied, again more like a statement.

Autumn sighed heavily and dropped her hands at her sides, and lifting her outturned palms, she said with exasperation, "About whatever the fuck is going on between us!" She stared at him desperately.

He squeezed his eyes shut and took a breath, closing his book and positioning himself to sit upright on his bed, legs hanging over the side. He met her eyes, his expression unreadable, and said with fallen shoulders, "And what, exactly, do you think the fuck is going on between us."

She hung her head, shaking it, and replied, "I have no fucking clue." She looked back up to meet his eyes. "Which is why we need to talk and figure it out." He stared at her, waiting, remaining silent. When she realized he wasn't going to say anything, she said, her voice almost pleading, "Do you like me?" Her eyes were desperate as she drew in her lower lip.

Raph's brows knit together under his red mask. "What?" he asked, unsure if he knew what she meant.

Autumn looked to the ceiling as though asking a higher power for help. She returned her desperate gaze to meet him and once again asked, "Do you _like_ me?"

Raph swallowed hard, letting on slightly to his increased nervousness. He gathered his courage, then answered softly, stammering, "'Course I like you, I wouldn't'a… done all that… stuff… with you like that if I didn't like you…" He looked down at his knees, feeling heat rising in his cheeks. He was suddenly feeling very vulnerable but, she was right, and he had to admit it: they needed to talk about this. He needed to hear it for himself that it wouldn't work between them, and that she wanted to be with a human. Though, going about it the way she was wasn't making it any easier for him.

"Then why did you stop?" she asked gently, emotion rising in her throat.

Raph looked confused again, narrowing his eyes at her. What was she playing at? "Wha'dya mean, why did I stop?" he asked.

"I thought we were having fun!" she exclaimed, feeling more desperate. "I-I guess I thought we were on the same page, but apparently I jumped to conclusions…"

"Yeah, same here," Raph mumbled. He shrugged. "I guess I shoulda known that's all it was to you. Just having fun."

Autumn's face fell. "What?" she asked, her heart feeling heavy. He looked up at her with sad eyes. She took one step forward, then said softly, "Raph, I wasn't just 'having fun'," she punctuated the air with her fingers. "Did you think that's all it was?"

Raph shrugged. "Well, yeah, I mean you were so desperate to be human again, and you seemed to hate your mutant life so much, I figured I was just a way to make it a little more bearable for you until you got to go back to your human life." He looked up at her sadly then added, "I figured once you were human, you'd leave." He added another shrug. "I just needed to force myself not to get too attached." He lowered his voice to a mumble. "Too late for that…" and he looked off to the side, his head hanging.

The weight in Autumn's heart was almost crushing her. "Oh, Raph…" she whispered, feeling the emotion rising into her voice, stinging in her eyes. "That's not true at all…"

He looked up at her cautiously, seeing the sadness in her eyes. His brows knit together again. "I find that hard to believe. Besides, Casey's a better match for you. Looks like you two hit it off nicely anyway," he added with a sneer, looking back down at the floor.

"Raph, I feel nothing for Casey like I feel for you!" she exclaimed. He looked up at her, hesitant and confused. She softened her voice and added, "I told him that this morning. I should have told him sooner. And he feels terrible that his flirting with me ended up hurting you." She looked down at her feet, her human toes. "He never meant to do that to you. You're his best friend."

Raph felt his chest tighten. His emotions were changing direction in him now, his confusion growing even more difficult to sort out. Where exactly was this going? All he could do was stare at her, unable to find the words to respond.

She took another step forward. "I was confused about my feelings for you, okay? I liked you all along, I felt something for you from the moment you carried me in your arms down to the lair, and stayed by my side while I healed, and took care of me like I was… _special_. A-and…" She took in the chiseled muscles of his arms and legs, his broad shoulders in his large frame, the intricate patterns of his plastron and carapace, his emerald eyes, deep and consuming behind his red mask, his face so masculine, she almost couldn't see that it wasn't human. He leaned forward slightly, curious what she was about to say next. She swallowed and licked her lips, arousal rising inside of her, and she prayed he couldn't smell it. "I found myself so… _attracted_ to you, and it confused me… and I guess scared me a little…" she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, feeling slightly embarrassed at her confession. "I'm a human, I should be attracted to humans, right?"

Raph just shrugged, and waited silently.

"But I can't get you out of my head…" she said softly. "I want more with you, more than whatever it was we had going on… I want to get to know you, I want you to get to know me, I want to share more of me with you…" His eyes widened ever so slightly and her cheeks burned. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, I was just scared of all that… Scared of what it would mean for us… How could I have a relationship with someone underground, in complete secrecy, and try to carry on a normal life in the human world?"

Raph shook his head slowly, his face sad and soft. "I can't ask you to do that…" he whispered.

"I'm not asking your permission, Raph," Autumn said softly, her hands at her sides, and he looked up at her with hesitation. He could feel hope rising in him, though his instincts were telling him to stomp it out before he was let down again. "I just needed to realize that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that you're not human, it doesn't matter that we'd have to keep this a secret, if I want to be with you, and… assuming you want the same…" she felt herself blush, "then we should just _do_ it, ya know?" He just stared at her, almost in disbelief. His silence was agonizing. What was he thinking? Say something already! She wrung her hands again nervously in front of her again.

Slowly, he stood up from the bed to meet her face-to-face. He seemed to move in slow motion, and Autumn struggled to remain still and patient while her anxiety of what he would do or say next burned inside of her. He looked confused, staring down at his hands in front of him as he came to a stop in front of her. "This whole time… I tried to bury my feelings for you… I figured wanting more was just some stupid dream that would never come true. That there was no way you'd stay here with us when you could go back to your human life. I had to keep myself from gettin' attached, or it would hurt too much when you left for good." He shrugged, his gaze still lingering on his hands. "It was stupid of me to think maybe I could have something like what Donnie has. But we're not like him and April. April is part of this family. I figured you were only part of it for as long as you needed to wait for the retro-mutagen to be done, then you'd be on your way. Why would you ever want to stay? And why would I even think for once you'd want to stay with me? Why would a human want someone like me?" He looked up, arching a brow at her. "Why _would_ you want me? When you could have someone like Casey? A human?" He shrugged. "And a good one, at that. Casey's an awesome dude. You deserve to be with someone like him. He'd treat you right, and you could go on dates and he could meet your family and I'm sure they'd like him…"

Autumn interrupted him. "I don't _want_ Casey," she urged, stepping closer to him. "I want _you_. And I'm not going anywhere. You all _have_ become family to me. I've never experienced this kind of love and friendship in all my human life. I'm not leaving that behind, I would never be complete if I didn't have any of you in my life ever again." She touched his shoulder, sending electric sparks between the two of them. "Especially you," she emphasized, looking deeply into his eyes.

He drew his lips in tightly, not believing what he was hearing, his eyes wide with shock as he felt himself getting lost in hers. She sighed, then said quietly, "I'm sorry I basically just led you on…" tears welled in her eyes as she dropped her hand from his shoulder, leaving a cold emptiness where her warm palm just was. She looked down. "I'm sorry I let my stupid confused emotions end up hurting you…" her voice was almost a whisper. She sniffed, then looked back up at him, one corner of her mouth turning up slightly as she said a bit more audibly, "That's, like, the second-to-last thing I'd ever want to do."

He arched his brow at her. "Second-to-last?" he questioned with uncertainty.

Her smile grew bigger, her eyes sparkling behind her unfallen tears. "Yeah," she replied. "The _last_ thing I'd ever want to do is leave you."

His brows raised. Is this for real? Is this really happening? He just stared at her in disbelief. She chuckled nervously, her eyes glistening. "Well, _say_ something!"

He continued to just stand there, until finally he said lamely, "I… I don't know what to say…"

She took his hands in his, sending delicious shudders up through his arms and down his spine. He closed his eyes as he rode the waves of her energy tingling through him. "Do you want to be with me?" she asked softly, and he opened his eyes to meet hers, his expression disbelieving and almost overwhelmed.

"Of course… if you really want to be with me?" he responded quietly, his nervous emeralds meeting her anxious violets.

She smiled at him. "Have I not made that clear enough for you yet?"

He couldn't help but chuckle nervously in response, looking down at their entwined hands, still finding it hard to accept that this was real. She gave his hands a squeeze. "So can we make this work?" she asked.

A smile spread across his face, lighting up his green eyes. He nodded slowly. "Yeah," he whispered, his voice cracking, then spoke up a little louder, "Yeah, we can try," and he nodded more affirmatively, the grin still on his face.

Her smile matched his, and a tear spilled over onto her cheek as they stared at each other, weight lifted from their shoulders, a whole world of possibility opening up around them full of hopes and dreams and the magical unknown.

She chuckled softly. _What a beautiful sound,_ he thought to himself. She lifted his hands in hers and dropped them again, not letting go of her grasp, and said, "So fucking _kiss_ me already!"

And he let go of her hands to grasp her around her back, plunging one large hand into her soft hair, and crashed his lips to hers, both of them sighing against the contact. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, her fingers stroking the sensitive skin under his carapace, sending shudders coursing through him. It was intense; even more so than it was when she was in her reptilian form. Their tongues quickly found each other as they deepened the kiss, and his hands traveled down her back until they found her firm buttocks, where they cupped around her and squeezed, causing her to squeal against him in delight, her soft body pressing against his plastron. She felt him lift her, so she followed suit and wrapped her legs around him as their lips continued to explore and their tongues continued to dance. _Yes,_ she thought. _This is what I want._

And for both of them in that moment, everything felt right with the world.


End file.
